14 Years of a Lost Mind

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Asap Karma, Oct 3, 2019.

  1. Asap Karma

    Asap Karma Fapstronaut

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    Hey everyone nice to meet you!

    Im a 26 year old male who has been under this mental trap for 14 years now. I first masturbated back when i was around the ages 12-13 years in 7th grade. With the wave of new technology that i had at that age allowed me to gain access to pornography through simple google images without anyone ever knowing including parents. Ever since i remember that first time experience, it has become an almost everyday occurrence to masturbate to reach that orgasm. At first it was a strong visual pornography addiction that developed but as time went on, i was able to pleasure myself even without the sight of porn or nudity. Simply laying back and just creating these images in my head of sexual fantasies of people that i knew or who were close to me was good enough for me to get my fix. This is when i realized that my addiction has become far worse then i thought. In the recent few days i have finally decided that this 14 year hell needs to end. I have always wondered to myself why i feel the way i do. I have issues with social anxiety or talking to females in general. Its hard not to pop a random when talking to a female. Whats sad is i don't create these images in my head doing sexual fantasies with them but it just naturally comes up. I have never had a relationship or a partner which could just be the mix to this illiusionary pot. I know this new journey will be the hardest thing i have ever done but im willing to try. Unfortunately i tried to go 2 days without the action but ended up failing today to the overwhelming urge to orgasm. I know this is a battle between Body and Mind. My Mind wishes to end this charade but my body wants to keep having good times. I hope these forums will be a good place to start this journey. Im willing to listen to any pro tips i can get to end this. Thanks for listening!
     
  2. Hello and welcome! :)

    We are glad to have you as a part of our community. Here are some quick links to get you started.

    Getting Started Guide | How to Use the NoFap Forums | Panic Button | Day Counter | Rebooting Resources | Forum Rules | Glossary

    If you wish to keep a journal of your progress you can do so in the appropriate section found here

    You can also take part in one of the many challenges available. It can be a tremendous help. Challenges

    Also, there are groups you can also join if you wish to do so. You can browse through them here. Groups

    There are plenty of wonderful, friendly and knowledgeable people here to help you along on your journey to a life free of PMO. I wish you nothing but the best!
     
    rafael33 and Asap Karma like this.
  3. Life's Journey

    Life's Journey Fapstronaut

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    Hi Asap Karma, welcome here, and wishing you loads of strength and good luck on your journey to quit porn!
     
    rafael33 and Asap Karma like this.
  4. Asap Karma

    Asap Karma Fapstronaut

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    Thank you very much. Much appreciation!
     
  5. greborn11

    greborn11 Fapstronaut

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    I want to help you help yourself. Porn is just like a drug, it does the same thing to the mind as drugs do. Specifically, it uses artificial means to induce mood altering chemicals in the brain. It is very easy to get hooked if you are vulnerable to these kind of pleasure seeking activities. Everybody has their drug of choice. It was much easier for me to get off cocaine than porn. There are many issues which contribute to the problem, which I won't go into right now, but I consider myself an expert on this after using it for 26 years until I finally realized how damaging it was. My key advice to anyone struggling with this is that you need to aggressively seek the root of the problem before you can make a serious quit attempt. You use porn to get high. Bottom line. Nothing else. You are an addict, but it's never too late to change. But, like any addict, you must acknowledge that you are an addict and it is your responsibility to change at all costs. Also, you must realize that you WILL have to change your junkie mentality. To do this, most addicts have to come to an 'enlightenment', and usually this involves confronting painful emotions which you have been avoiding by getting high on porn. The longer you let these emotions linger and fester, the worse things will potentially get with your addiction. I would also recommend studying addiction itself. There are key things porn addicts do. They lie to everyone, most of all themselves. They will come up with any excuse to justify their behavior. They end up in a guilt loop, where they use, feel bad, and use again. They also will test the waters with more taboo fantasies not because that's what they really want, but because they get bored very quickly and they need to change things up all the time. Not to mention that the porn industry sets the playground for all these fantasies to come to life on screen. They also hold onto the addiction because it is difficult to believe that occasional use is harmful, because honestly from my experience the recovery time for getting back to having normal sex with a partner is about 2 weeks. However, this is more junkie mind justification because the same problems still exist and thinking like that perpetuates the addiction. Also, at some point the addict will lose control and the impact could be devastating. Do some research on addiction and some major soul searching to find the pain you are running from. Those are my key pieces of advice to start. I'm available by PM if you want to talk.
     
  6. rafael33

    rafael33 Fapstronaut

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    Welcome to the Nofap community.
    The NO PMO journey is not easy but worth the effort.
    The community will support you.

    It’s funny how different some words can be used. I consider it as a choice everybody can make. There is a mind inside me and there is a heart inside me. To whom or what I will listen to? Mind tells me: “watch porn, fap - and you will be happy”. Maybe I fap and the same mind will shout “You crazy guy, how could you stop your wonderful NOPMO journey?”
    Listen to the faint whisper of your heart. It wants you to get rid of addiction. Heart is not tricky, but mind is very, very tricky.
     
    Asap Karma and Deleted Account like this.
  7. Asap Karma

    Asap Karma Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for this. I really enjoyed the read. I recently had a relapse of porn which really sucks ass. I went 6 days without and one moment of it broke the streak. Im back on 2 days as of now. Porn is truly a drug but its not a drug that i need to be happy or get happy.
     

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