19 years old- becoming a man

Hello everyone,

I am not new on this nofap trend. I have been doing this trend since I was 1 6 years old. Yes, I was lucky I started at young age. When I was 16 years I actually made it to 100 days and thought this will remove all my problems. I was wrong it did not. Because the more I experience life the more crazy shit going on. My friends are hooked on drugs and some ignore me because of my ignorance and not being like them. Having trouble with my family for acting crazy, weird, and different. I actually relapse after those 100 days. And I didn’t take this nofap serious sense then. Yes, I am still a virgin. Why not get a girlfriend then? The reason was I was sexual Molested when I was a kid at age 10 years old by a tutor. Been sexual Molested for three years. It wasn’t ounce a week or 1 hour a week. It was around 4 days a week in 2 or 4 hours tutoring section a day. It lasted for 3 years. It fucked my sexuality badly and dating with girl. This stopped around when I was 13 years old. Now I am 19 years old. Yes I reported him when I was 15. Took me 2 years to have the guts to report him. Since then I was traumatized fuckenbad. I mean it was hell. I mean HELL. Yes I was forced to watch pornography at age 10. Not soft or hardcore but truly illegal pornography to brain wash me to seem normal. I don’t want to state it in here. Since 16 years, once positive thing that sucked with me to calm my trauma was exercise. I was running like madman. 5 miles a day. Some days I ran 10 miles or more. I wasn’t okay in my head. Voices in my head. But I have encourage to keep running no matter what.
I know I need help from a strong source. Something bigger Than me like god. I just need help to stay on tract with my good habit.
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Yup my life is fucked up.
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When I heard Jordan Peterson talking about the Bible and explain with great detail. It changed my mind that I want to start studying the Bible to get help from god and help me to battle these demons I have with me everyday of my life and become a masculine man like Jordan Peterson. I don’t have any good role model in my life. That is why I go to the internet to find those people to help me.

Starting Right now at Day 1.

 

Thank you brother.


I am strong to share my story. May god help us both. Amen

 

Day 2

just woke up and I know what I am suppose to do. Start doing some cardio and eat healthy. Then work.

 

Thank you brother. I appreciate your kindness. We both need to fight this diseases by converting the lust energy into art. Stay Strong brother. May god help us both. Thrive to become a better version of you.

 

Thank you my brother. We should stay strong and fight this disease.

 

Thank you brother for the positivity. Stay strong.

 

Day 5

Everything is going very well. I have not do anything dirty. But what I have during these day is fasting diminish our sexual energy. I Finish with 16 hours of fasting. I do eat one meal a day. It does work when my sexual energy wants to explode.
Well good luck everyone on your journey. Remember, do not go within pleasure because it wouldn't satisfied us internally. May god help us all.