1WorldAddict's Journal: My Path to Success

This is the start of a long journey thread. I will be posting here regularly for the foreseeable future. Hopefully I will get to meet some amazing people along the way!

Night #1: Alone in a Hotel Room with Nothing to Do.

Staying alone in a hotel for two nights. Last night was a struggle, but a good one. I have been underway for the last two weeks (military naval service) and don't have access to porn... So I get a nice breather.

I find that I become more creative, enthusiastic, and a generally pleasant person during those periods without the digital kool-aid.

Then comes the port call (mini vacation for the uninitiated). I get a hotel room for two nights in Miami, FL. I am alone. My friends are working, and I usually enjoy being alone anyway so I can walk outside and discover my mind.

Then comes the night. I call my beautiful wife, we talk about the kiddo screaming in terror from Santa Claus. I hang up after about an hour of catching up.

I decide to take out the laptop (telling myself that I won't look at porn, knowing what I could potentially be getting into.)

I open a video streamer and start installing Video Add-ons. Then an old habit starts to occur. I am downloading all of the "ADULT" add-ons.

"Oh boy..." I say out loud. My heart starts beating faster. I feel the blood flush into my pelvis. The tingling sensation of Niacin pelting my face. I stop blinking and start licking my lips.

On automatic mode, I scan through the thumbnails and look for girls. I select a few, watching the videos. My hand unknowingly goes down into my drawers, and I instantly stiffen. My body is ready, my mind is searching for the rush. My hand starts moving. Then, out of nowhere... The training I have been doing kicks in. I see myself, what I am doing, what I am looking at.

The blinders come off... The curtain is pulled aside... I am staring at a digital screen, a tablet of aluminum, glass, and metals. I am watching a person who is faking her pleasure... Who's job is to get me to pay money for sex. She was DESIGNED to make men unwillingly do things. She doesn't care about me or my life. She doesn't care abut my wife or my family. She is a harpy, and I, the clueless prey. She's not even really there... Just an image.

Once I saw myself, I employed the rest of my training. I became aware of what I was doing.

I asked myself: "What is going on here?" countless times.

I envisioned the woman on the screen as a real person. I started picturing her on the toilet taking a crap. I pictured her used private parts... Destroyed by years in her profession... I pictured her taking blood tests at the clinic once a week in fear that she finally got something nasty...

... And, I stopped. My erect manhood shrunk immediately. The magic illusion was gone, and a more real picture took its place.

I had gone into the dragon's den, and came back with it's head severed and my sword bloody.

I had won... Tonight.

Then I proceeded to watch trailers for the upcoming Star Wars movie instead, and still gave my brain an awesome euphoric rush. Seriously, that marketing team knows what they are doing!

-Till the next Battle. Stay Strong.

 

Still going strong. Nothing new to update, no close calls. Discovered that my main trigger is being alone and boredom. Those two feelings together create an optimal environment for my addict self to step in and search for release.

I can avoid this by keeping myself busy, getting out of the house, or going to workout instead of sitting at home alone. Luckily, I am in a situation where I am not alone very often... So I am just using this time to prepare myself for a future situation. I know the test is coming, I just don't know when.

 

Thanks taqwa!