2 Schools of Thought - Approach Relentlessly or Let it Happen?

The two are valid, I think you are being a little one minded about the two.

The first one on doing cold approaches, I think is alright but not like a madman if you feel an special attraction to the girl, see an special energy in the girl or if she looks at you or even approaches you or talk you a little, I mean she is showing interest then go for it. Not just hiting girls randomly.

The second one about being indifferent has deep wisdom, nature comes when you stop chasing her.
As the great Morgan freeman said "show your interest then walk away" women are chasers they love a challenge.

My point is these two methods are valid but there are many variants inside of the two. Also the specific situation and the particular girl implies a recalibration of the method to adjust the circumstances.

 

But for me it's about doing what your guts tells you to do, any contact or interaction with a girl has to come from a place of naturalness and spontaneity, that way you are fun and more attractive and you enjoy the ride. Using methods or tactics it just feel unnatural or plastic.
If I feel a girl is using a method on me like acting distant or cold on purpose I leave her there, I like people to be authentic.

 

Enjoy the other person. To do that, you have to enjoy yourself.

Never be cold hearted. But give yourself importance.

(God, please don't think I have mastered any of this. But I have definitely seen it work).

 

I'm roughly 40 and have done the whole "spam" approach method pre-COVID. It is certainly a challenge and has some benefits, but is a low return from a sexual relationship standpoint. You can spend hours going out to approach and not see anybody that meets your standards (depending how picky you are).

This totally depends on variables that are independent from just going up and talking to a woman, including uncontrollable variables like how the woman perceives you and how her day has been and who she dated in the past.... Generally I would say no, when going up and talking to strangers feels normal, it won't present a needy/thirsty vibe, especially if you chat long enough to get some chemistry. If you go out to say hello and go straight for the number without even checking to see if she's crazy, I'd bet that's more likely to come across as thirsty.

I don't depend on cold approach to actually meet women, since it's such a crap shoot and time sink. But it has its advantages when it comes to developing social skills.

As you know, women don't miraculously appear out of thin air. You can pour your energy into a career, read a ton of great books, partake in risky sports, learn some SOLID computer programming, staying off social media. These are great things in and of themselves. And when it comes to meeting women, none of this matters if you don't even encounter women, especially if you're happy enough as an introvert, or live out in the suburbs/small town.

I think the "don't care what women think" method is either a disdain for women (or guys that can cold approach women), a self-delusion from inexperience, a personal "ideal" that's unrealistic, or from social guys who happen to have interests that also line up with good demographics to meet women. If you're a party star/photographer/model scout/yoga teacher then you don't need to cold approach.

If you're a scientist type, there's probably not many women in your "diet" and supplementing it with cold approach or (god forbid) online dating is better than nothing.

Wow, this turned out to be a longwinded way of saying: Use both methods!

 

@Rev2.0 both strategys works but...

Cold approach: Is like throwing a net in the sea over and over and eventually you are going to get some fish. The problem with this approach is that you are going to focus a lot of your time going after woman. You are going to get a lot of rejections and you really need to have your A game to break the ice and make the conversation flow from the scratch. Another problem with this approach is that normally high value man that have plenty of woman don't go after woman, woman know this. So if you go and talk to a woman the woman naturally knows that you are kind of needy and you lack woman in your life. Woman want to have the man that other woman desire, the man that is hard to get, woman prefere to share a high value man than having a low value man all for themselves, if you go after them you are probably low value and other woman are not into you either so they are going to see you as low value.
This method is also a lot of work, you are going to basically go out and convice woman to be with you, woman that are not into you from the beginning are not going to put any effort in dating you so you are not going to have fun with them until they start to be attracted to you. Creating attraction when is not there in the beginning is a lot of work and normally never happens. With this method you are going to waste a lot of resourses and time.

Self Improvement approach: Work on yourself to become your best version. Get as much money as you can, work on your body, good hair cut, have some stile to get dress, maybe work on your social skills, and most important at all have goals and ambitions. Once you have all of that, you are probably going to be proud of you, and probably are going to be living a happy life with friends and family. of course if you don't go out there to be seen by woman this is not going to work. you need to go out to bars, or the gym, or everything you like to do were also woman attend to. Just go and have fun out there.
Once you have all this in your life you are not going to go after woman at all. You are just going to go and do your life and show yourself to the world.
Woman love man like this, woman love to get the popular guy, the man that is desired by other woman, woman love to work to get the man, high value man are rare and woman are all over them. Woman can see that a man is happy and having a great life and they are going want to be part of that so she is going to make a move on you, she is going to put herself in yout orbit to make it easy for you to ask her out.
When a woman is attacted to you from the beginning she is going to work to be with you, she is going to be in her best behavior, she is going to be really sweat and funny, she is going to be really submisive and work to get your approval and validation. You are never going to have more fun with a woman like this one. She is going to be all over you, everything is effortless.

Is your choice... work to get woman.. and well.. get rejected a lot and work your ass off to get some luck and everytime a woman turn you off you are again with nothing in your hands.... or work a lot on yourself (invest in yourself) and be the best catch you can. Let woman come close to you and choose to date the one you are attracted to and enjoy been seduced by a woman. Once you feel that kind of interaction with a woman you are not going to go back to persuing a woman. The best thing is that woman are going to keep looking for you without you doing anything and once you finish a relationship all the work you put on yourself is going to be there to get you more girls without moving a muscle.

My advice... chase excelence not woman... and eventually woman are going to chase you.

 

Let's be honest, everything is done online today. People get their food online, they get their clothes online and now they get their partner online. They look through the catalogue of options and choose the one they like the look of, if they don't like it in person then they send it back and try another one. This is life now.

 

I am 100% with what @p1n1983 is saying.

Chase excellence, your dreams and goals, best version of yourself ... etc. do or at least try to do with your life what you can and what is in your power to change (you can't force women to love you, so leave it).
Work on your 'sexual market value' - maturity, wealth, health and fitness, self-respect, ability of standing your ground, just overall erudition etc., for men age (peak can be around 35 YO) is not as a big problem as for women (peak can be around 23 YO), for whom 'sexual market value' is their health (including integrity, beauty and young age) and femininity (including desire to care for their man and family and obedience).
When you have high 'sexual market value' you have a way bigger choice of women, including high-quality women.

It doesn't mean NO for dating at all, during this journey you will certainly interact with women and probably you will meet someone who you will take with you along YOUR way. Also becoming best version of yourself can include cold approaching if you want to get rid of this fear and step out of comfort zone, or just for fun (if you like doing it) for example. BUT don't do cold approaching out of neediness, don't waste too much of your time on cold approaching (or on women in general, relationship is more their goal), woman is just a complement to your life and choose wisely it should be smb who will make your life better.

 

I'm a woman. This is what I know from other women;

If a man is very good looking (8 out of 10 and up) AND young (under 35) he can virtually approach any woman he wants during any time.

If older and less attractive, virtually any approach unless specifically asked for will be considered sexual harassment.

In countries where women doesn't have their own income or the income is low, rich men can approach freely no matter age or looks.