Well, here I am. I think I'm at day 33-35 now, the last time I M'd was one of the last days of november. So, I tried it already sometimes but I didn't work. Now I realize it didn'nt work because of my (ex)girlfriend. I broke up with her a month ago, we were 10 months together. For the last 4-5 months it was really a monotonous relationship, actually she was a very monotonous person. But somehow I addapted myself to it. I was very depressed when we started going out, she was it also, but I just discovered it later because she didn't open herself about her feelings. I was also under psychiatric meds and suffered from abstinence for a couple of weeks when I stopped taking them. But I don't regret a bit, now I feel SO MUCH BETTER. The thing is, my ex didn't want to have sex. She actually wanted, but she had a phobia about getting pregnant. It was really a big problem. We didn't nothing that could get her pregnant, really nothing. But she had such paranoia, it was really really wearing. When I found out about NOFAP, I wanted to try it immediately, but I was with her. At first I would try to abstain from everything sexual. It didn't work. Then I thought, I would just stop masturbating and let her do the job. But the truth is that she didn't satisfy me the way I wanted (real sex with penetration) and so I always ended up masturbating myself. Since I broke up with her, I didn't masturbate once. I'm proud of it. And I feel a big transformation. It's actually only the beginning. I'm 21 now. I masturbate frequentely since 10. I think I'm abstaining myself from it for 30+days since 11, 12, maybe 13 years?!? I'm a very good looking guy and there were always some girls interested in me. But now, I feel like I could talk to every chick and they all want me. I'm actually not so interested right now. Flatline has begone. Yesterday I was in a club and made out with a very hot chick, I was feeling very confortable and confident, but my penis didn't respond. But it's not a problem, I know he'll awake with time, like never before hehehe Not wanting the approval from chicks is also a very good factor. It's totally about self-confidence. I think our semen is spiritual power and others can feel it, subconsciously, when we hold our power within. But we can see it from another side. Our semen contains a lots of minerals. We lose zinc when we ejaculate. Zinc is very imporant for brain health, so it also makes sense. But I'm sure it's not only about it. What has changed for the better: -selfconfidence (incredible how it can change dramatically in a month) -energy (from not going out at all to training+going out+socializing) -socializing a lot more -motivation is getting better and better (studies, job, workout, girls) -I say what I think and don't give a fuck what people think -don't feel depressed anymore (yeeeeeeeeeeeeah ) I'm having trouble with: -sleeping (don't sleep so much and deeply. but somehow I don't need so much sleep now. I was also used to fap before sleep to relax) -agressivity (I arguing more actively, but sometimes I get a bit agressive. But I think it's a adaptation I'm going through. I was always the "poor me" and maybe my brain just thinks I have to defend myself authoritatively to take my place back) -flatline (I think its the flatline... I dont think about sex. but still I want to talk to chicks and actually do it) Definetely go for it, guys! it's totally worth it How I relapsed? So, I told you about my ex gf. She wanted to show herself as if she would support me, but she didn't. The other thing is, I counted every day. Sometimes I counted hours. I pictured myself how my body would cure itself with every breath. Really stupid shit. You need time, don't count, Just live your life. Go out. Use this energy for useful stuff. Very important: I have social anxiety. I study psychology and go to therapy every week. The most important thing (for me) my psychologist said to me was: "You need to expose yourself as much as possible." That's so true!!!! You wont beat up your fears just thinking or talking about it. It's ok to be afraid. But don't be afraid about being afraid. Observe your fear like you could learn from it. Understand where it comes from. Facing your fears makes you happy!!! STAY CLEAN!!! YOU ARE AWESOME!!!!!!!!
