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35 Days - struggling, but remaining positive!

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Tull, Jan 21, 2016.

  1. Jan 21, 2016 #1
    Tull

    Tull Fapstronaut

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    It's 35 days now since I last watched any porn or porn substitutes, but I am still struggling, but remaining positive. Brain fog is still an issue and this seems to come and go. When the brain fog descends I struggle to follow things properly and find that it is difficult to concentrate on things, but when it lifts it feels fantastic and I feel so sharp and focused!

    The other slightly alarming thing I am doing on occasions is re-running instances of porn or sexual encounters in my head. I had conquered this, but it seems to have returned, but I am fighting it. I have also found myself picking my phone up and nearly giving in to temptation to Google some porn. When this happens I can hear my brain telling me "a little look wouldn't do any harm", but of course I know it would and manage to resist.

    I have been trying not to MO as I am sure this doesn't help, but have failed on several occasions, as you will see from my counter that I have been porn free for 35 days now but it is only a day since I MO'd and I keep failing on this one.

    I'm not sure why I am telling you all this, but it does seem to help talking to you all. Thanks for listening!
     
    Tull, Jan 21, 2016
    Tull, Jan 21, 2016
    #1
    volt2187 likes this.
  2. Jan 21, 2016 #2
    volt2187

    volt2187 Guest

    Because you need to get this off your chest. These forums are here for you to share your experiences and frustrations.

    I know the struggles all too well. At my best I went almost 30 days without viewing porn, but I did mo about 5 times in that span and didn't notice any major "super power" changes, because I was still fantasizing (a lot of the times I would fantasize just as much as watch p, so I know it's harmful as well). Plus every time I would mo, I would feel drained of any energy I may have gained.

    I've also experienced the subconscious thoughts of "just take a peak, one look, it won't be bad". Before my current streak I would give in and EVERY TIME it would eventually lead to a full relapse. When you give in you create the cravings for more and more and thus it's harder to resist. I gave in about a week ago to softcore pictures (just viewing, no mo) for about an hour and felt absolutely horrible afterwards, more than I ever have in recent memory. I'm using that as motivation to stay away from that filth for the rest of my life.
     
    volt2187, Jan 21, 2016
    volt2187, Jan 21, 2016
    #2
  3. Jan 22, 2016 #3
    Tull

    Tull Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for your words of support Volt!
     
    Tull, Jan 22, 2016
    Tull, Jan 22, 2016
    #3
    volt2187 likes this.
  4. Jan 22, 2016 #4
    volt2187

    volt2187 Guest

    You're welcome @Tull! Right now I'm feeling tons of anxiety and what feels like withdrawal because it feels like I have cravings. Guess I'm just going to have to tough this out because I am not going back to that lifestyle!
     
    volt2187, Jan 22, 2016
    volt2187, Jan 22, 2016
    #4

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