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35 Days - struggling, but remaining positive!

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Tull, Jan 21, 2016.

  1. Tull

    Tull Fapstronaut

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    It's 35 days now since I last watched any porn or porn substitutes, but I am still struggling, but remaining positive. Brain fog is still an issue and this seems to come and go. When the brain fog descends I struggle to follow things properly and find that it is difficult to concentrate on things, but when it lifts it feels fantastic and I feel so sharp and focused!

    The other slightly alarming thing I am doing on occasions is re-running instances of porn or sexual encounters in my head. I had conquered this, but it seems to have returned, but I am fighting it. I have also found myself picking my phone up and nearly giving in to temptation to Google some porn. When this happens I can hear my brain telling me "a little look wouldn't do any harm", but of course I know it would and manage to resist.

    I have been trying not to MO as I am sure this doesn't help, but have failed on several occasions, as you will see from my counter that I have been porn free for 35 days now but it is only a day since I MO'd and I keep failing on this one.

    I'm not sure why I am telling you all this, but it does seem to help talking to you all. Thanks for listening!
     
    volt2187 likes this.
  2. volt2187

    volt2187 Guest

    Because you need to get this off your chest. These forums are here for you to share your experiences and frustrations.

    I know the struggles all too well. At my best I went almost 30 days without viewing porn, but I did mo about 5 times in that span and didn't notice any major "super power" changes, because I was still fantasizing (a lot of the times I would fantasize just as much as watch p, so I know it's harmful as well). Plus every time I would mo, I would feel drained of any energy I may have gained.

    I've also experienced the subconscious thoughts of "just take a peak, one look, it won't be bad". Before my current streak I would give in and EVERY TIME it would eventually lead to a full relapse. When you give in you create the cravings for more and more and thus it's harder to resist. I gave in about a week ago to softcore pictures (just viewing, no mo) for about an hour and felt absolutely horrible afterwards, more than I ever have in recent memory. I'm using that as motivation to stay away from that filth for the rest of my life.
     
  3. Tull

    Tull Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for your words of support Volt!
     
    volt2187 likes this.
  4. volt2187

    volt2187 Guest

    You're welcome @Tull! Right now I'm feeling tons of anxiety and what feels like withdrawal because it feels like I have cravings. Guess I'm just going to have to tough this out because I am not going back to that lifestyle!
     

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