How long have ya all been stuck in this malady!! I have been in PMO mode for 45 years! Over half a lifetime! The pain and sorrow have become almost unbearable. Maybe the thing that has kept me stuck was not having a Painful Bottom! I could always just go get spiritual and search for God after every fall! I am also addicted to spirituality. Always seeking and never finding! Still married. 29 years. 3 great kids, grandson, good income, BUT sadness, depression, worry, fear, sorrow are almost at an unbearable level. Time to do whatever it takes. So much to Gain and Everything to Lose!!