6 days in, going great, need advice..badly

@Red4321 ,

Hi and Welcome to NoFap.

I don't give advice, just my experience, strength and hope.

Being socially shy is a problem I have as well. Really, I'm very good at interacting with people. Can talk to people for hours. But, it's a learned skill, I never really let them "in".

By that I mean, I've learned to keep the conversation on them. Keep asking questions, adding only tiny bits of information about myself - never enough for them to really get to know me.

pmo made sex so easy. I didn't need to connect in real life - and I didn't.

My hope is that doing no pmo will give me back normal and healthy sex life.

I can't even think of a 90 day challenge without becoming convinced I'll fail. So, I don't. I'm taking it one day at a time. I didn't pmo today and I don't plan on pmo tomorrow.

If you haven't read it yet, download the "Getting Started with NoFap" guide. It's a great explanation of almost every symptom I was having with pmo.

Share with us how you are doing,

L

 

Your shyness appears to be something you have always had rather than a result of Fapping. However constant PMO can make it worse.

If you're smart, athletic and good looking you've hit the jackpot. That's pretty much the perfect trifecta for attracting women in college.

Relax and start small. "Hi. My name is John. What's your major" is pretty much all you need to start a conversation with a girl in college (it worked for me literally a hundred times).

Let them do most of the talking if you get nervous. Ask them questions, give them your full attention. And remind yourself to relax.

 

Practice. I use to be pretty shy as well.

 

Never be ashamed of your virginity. Sex is a highly intimate act meant to occur between a man and his wife. My favourite go-to advice in this area is that nofap will provide some level of objectivity as you make the decision about which girl you choose to approach. The key to confidence is being somewhat non-outcome dependent. I do not mean to say that you should get all cocky and act the jerk as many guys do as an overcompensation for their insecurities. What I mean is to be comfortable and confident in being YOU. We all have faults and good qualities. I for one grew up being fed the notion that the aim of dating was to hide as much bad things about yourself as possible. But this is a very short-term strategy employed by those whose aim is to sleep around (and sleep with a girl as fast as possible) and eventually HOPE they meet the right girl. Bad tactics. Be yourself and be comfortable. In this way you don't have to spend months trying to introduce the girl you like to the REAL YOU after the initial dating fire has waned. So the key to confidence is to be openly engaging (but not focussed on the possibility of rejection). Approach a girl as a friend first... keeping in mind that even some of the most attractive women have personalities you would just rather not be around. Hope my rambling helped you. God bless.

 

Good luck! You sound like a great guy. Relax and take baby steps. What is the worse thing a girl could say? No rush. You have a vet promising life ahead!