6 weeks

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Bobbyf76, May 17, 2018.

  1. Bobbyf76

    Bobbyf76 Fapstronaut

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    I am six weeks clean today. it hasn't been an easy journey, and a tough road still follows, but I am gaining confidence every day. I had a very strong urge to relapse yesterday. my strongest one yet. it lasted for a few hours. I had a bad day and was battling with my depression most of the day. my addiction was attacking me while i was at my weakest. trying to convince me that i had no reason to not watch porn. almost begging me to give in. i have come a very long way in six weeks. i am able to recognize when my depression is festering in my mind, and i can see my self destructive thoughts come about and try to break me down. my main hope is to build a relationship with my wife again, and to make up for lost/damaged time. at the start of this, that was my main motivation. the reason why i was going to change. but after i started, i realized that i cannot do it for her. my hope is to win her back over, and be 100 percent honest about everything, but i can see and feel the person i am becoming. the lack of porn is making me happy. more clear headed. i can see my depression and doubt and tell them theyre wrong. its an amazing and wonderous feeling to me. i am so much happier now. i can be sad without hating myself and wanting to die. i can allow myself to be sad, or feel angry, and then move on. i can move on without dwelling, or having to have someone pull me out. i know that i am a better person that what i was before, and this journey is about bringing out the real me. no longer will i hide.
     

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