is there any thing wrong with going to a regular massage about 3 or 4 times a years? nothing spiritual, new agy, shady massages...just a strait up massage. that is all I want. I am in no place for a relationship right now, and don't hook up, or one night stands. but the trouble is I think I am addicted, but maybe not, there is nothing wrong with taking care of my needs, I am human after all. I have 90 personal goals, to show you I am to hard on my self.
thinking one more time, the excuse, I am almost back where I started 4 years ago. so I have to commit to being lonely for a time, it is the only proper way.
that is my practice right now. so no more massage, there is something pleasure about going to nice massage, I am sure every one likes them. but it is a service, most people do not give them for free. there is a trade of money, but my motive is wrong and that is the problem, nothing wrong with getting a massage if your going because you have a sore back ect.. but if you do it for pleasure. that will not help the addiction, so I must give those up. and I already feel stronger making the decision, something in my chest, feels braver.
Good choice friend. When we operate on autopilot, we make the choices that bring instant pleasure and no pain or effort. These decisions are often the wrong choice but are easier than the alternative. I use this same method when deciding on something I always think about going the opposite direction which is the harder road to follow bit it's more rewarding in the long run.
