A question, if ejaculating meaning damage, how do people have sex and live normally

Not a monk but will through my hat in the ring anyways.

Briefly, changes in hormones are part of the natural changes in the human sexual response - it say “you have lower testosterone after masturbation/sex therefore masturbation/sex is bad” is a bit nonsensical. The entire point of hormones are to modify the human mind and body, optimizing it for responses to its environment. For example, preparing your mind to fight when it’s time to fight, preparing your body to fuck when it’s time to fuck. Once the goal is accomplished, the body returns to baseline.

So, ejaculation isn’t inherently bad. Neither is masturbation. The idea is that the male body expends energy during sexual activity.

There are benefits to conserving and redirecting that energy. Personally, the mental clarity and stamina is major bonus. I feel happier and more whole when conserving. And when using the male energy for sex with a partner, there are obvious benefits. Emotional intimacy and connection etc - it’s not rocket science. Even with masturbation, there are warm gooey feelings, but there isn’t that additional layer of bonding with another (unless masturbating with a partner).

There are also consequences when you do not conserve or redirect that energy. The problems begin when masturbation becomes the primary mode of sexual expression. When people cannot redirect their sexual energy to share it with a partner, and will prefer self-stimulation and pixels over human relationships. You see manifestations of this in NoFap - people who get stuck on the loop of sexual obsession and gratification.

Moderation is key. Much like you cannot expect a crack addict to smoke on a little bit of crack, it is patently obvious that you cannot expect a fapaddict to only do a little fap. So, you get extreme manifestations such as Monk Mode etc. These are unnecessary in the sense that fapping isn’t bad… but the people who pursue NoFap are already so far gone that they need to completely refrain from their compulsive or obsessive sexual behaviours because they have no balance, have lost discipline, and have literally burned out their brains cells as a result. What you’re describing then isn’t just masturbation. It’s addiction.

So no, the harms from sex and masturbation (as you frame it) are not the same because you are comparing a healthy sexual expression (sex) with what is normally health sexual expression distorted into an addictive behavioural pattern (masturbation+porn use, for people on NoFap who are addicted).

 

Just a few points, numbered per your points above.

1. Masturbation is bad because it is entirely selfish. Sex is different because it involves another person.

We all need to know that someone else cares for us. A hug from someone can really lift our spirits and make us feel good. What does one feel by hugging oneself? If you hug yourself, will it make you feel loved? The same principle affects the mind in terms of sexual relationships: solo sex does nothing for one's morale, self-esteem, or health; but sex with a lifelong companion that is shared out of a bond of mutual love can do wonders for all of these things.

2. Losing semen is not the only, and perhaps not even the primary, loss of energy. The nervous system takes a big hit from the unnatural excitement of the nerves and the brain during the stimulation and orgasm. Women also experience fatigue, depression, weakness, etc. just as men do--and perhaps to an even greater degree than men--when they masturbate; and women are not losing semen.

There are some potential benefits to ejaculation, including the loss of certain toxins that might accumulate in the prostate gland and cause irritation, prostatitis, or even prostate cancer after years of exposure. Some studies have seemed to indicate that men who are more sexually active suffer less from prostate cancer. However, few studies have looked at, much less linked, the negative side effects of masturbation--which can be very harmful. The key is to not indulge too much; as they say, too much of a good thing is bad.

3. Most men will feel tired or sleepy after sex. I sometimes call it my sleep medicine. It's a great way to relax. I have also noticed, however, that I tend to feel more irritable in the 12+ hours following sexual activity--a phenomenon which I cannot explain.

4. The potential harms from masturbation versus from sex are quite different, in my opinion. When one pleasures oneself, there is no limit to how frequently one might choose to do so--and the temptation to over-indulge is great. When one must court the attentions of one's spouse, and charm him or her into the mood for some intimate romance, it tends to slow things down considerably, and the frequency is limited to a more balanced amount.

As @STACKEDbro said above, "Moderation is key." It's much harder to be intemperate when one must first woo one's spouse. And it's the only right way.

In Europe during World War II, when bombs were making orphans of many children and even babies, an old blind lady visited the hospital asking how she could help. Not thinking a blind woman could do much, the nurses just gave her some of the babies to hold and rock to sleep. It was later realized that, while many babies had failed to thrive and died suddenly (SIDS), despite being fed and kept warm, none of the babies held by the old lady had died. It became a serendipitous discovery with respect to the importance of human touch.

Being physically contacted by another human being, in a loving way, can mean the difference between life and death for infants, and makes a world of difference to one's emotional and social state as an adult. Masturbation can never hope to equal this, anymore than kissing yourself will make you feel loved. If you depended on kissing and hugging yourself to feel loved, you would be depressed in a hurry, knowing that resorting to such low acts was proof positive that others paid you no attention.