Hello, I've posted an introduction, and also a first post on the journal, so, if you want a bit of an explanation of my situation, please look there. I wanted to post here to ask for advice on one specific thing. Last night I wanted to make it Day One of the reboot. I've been addicted to PMO for years. And I edge and sometimes it goes on for 5 or 6 hours. It has ruined the last 2 years of my life. And was also a serious problem for me as a teenager. But last night, after reading this site, I found myself closing the tab, carrying the laptop to the bed, all in a trance, and loading up the websites I tend to use (chat rooms and cam sites). I was aware of what I was doing but unable to stop, even though I was telling myself not to. This trance is going to be the hardest thing for me to break, because I am unable to rationalise with it. I try to but I still do it. And all the knowledge and whatever which I have about the consequences and why it is happening doesn't help. I don't know how to break it. I know some have suggested cold showers or a walk, but in the past when I've tried these things, then I have the shower or walk, and then when I get into bed I still do the same thing. I think I have weak will power. And I hope to change this. And I will really try to make it through the next thirty days (and will most probably extend after that). I just wondered how else others broke that trance, if they experience it too?
You don't just break the trance, you will get out of it in small steps. Everytime you succesfully resist, you are waking up. Might take a while, because this is what you have been doing for years. The distraction method is good as it is. Personally when I go to bed I want to sleep, not get up again for a walk or a shower. I have a lucky charm (small angel out of metal) lying next to my head in bed. When I feel the urge to edge or MO I would hold on to my angel.
Okay, man. Thanks for the advice. I agree that when I am most vulnerable to entering the trance is usually at a time when I don't particularly want to have a cold shower or go for a walk before bed. I'll maybe try the lucky charm idea.
