advice on catching partner out

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by ginaG, Dec 25, 2015.

  1. ginaG

    ginaG Fapstronaut

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    Thank you in advance for advice!in a nutshell,ive had proof that my partner was watching excessive amounts of porn+denying me sex for months...I was stupid and told him i'd looked on his computer+seen the internet history thinking it would sort it out but of course its probably made him more secretive as hes set a password on his computer so i can't access it...I'm fed up of him possibly lying to me+would like to know any ways i can catch him out
     
  2. xenomorphie

    xenomorphie Fapstronaut

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    assuming you and your boyfriend share the same ISP , try contacting the ISP and get the browsing history.
     
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  3. ginaG

    ginaG Fapstronaut

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    Hi unfortunately we dont live together so its going to be harder than usual
     
  4. ogiv

    ogiv Fapstronaut

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    ginaG - I dont think you should get his browsing history. It is an addiction. You should help him see that it is an addiction and that it would have a very bad effect on his sexual life. You could help him to come out of this addiction. Getting his browsing history from ISP or through some other means would make him more resistant to the change.. at least thats how i would react if my gf starts interfering with my choices...
     
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  5. Harvhe

    Harvhe Fapstronaut

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    If you can't get his browser history, i recommend going through his DNS page history instead (a log of site connection interactions *everytime you click a link/change page etc* via windows inbuilt command prompt) This method may prove particularly useful if you believe he has access material on your personal/a shared computer and then deleted it afterwards and the evidence for him clearing the DNS can be seen from abnormal lack of activity.

    If all else fails and you're convinced or you have a unshakable hunch, have a adult mature conversation about it is my advice, he may want to talk about it really actually and just feel pent up. If he doesn't want to talk about it or is in denial i would recommend seeking additional help.
     
  6. Rav70

    Rav70 Fapstronaut

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    How long you been dating?
     
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  7. Saoirse

    Saoirse Guest

    Email him a link to the Gary Wilson TED Talk:

    Maybe you could also send him this lin to another Gary Wilson talk:

    Watch them yourself, too. They're interesting! :)
     
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  8. Mj1064

    Mj1064 Fapstronaut

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    I agree. You can 'catch him out' as many times as you like but until he realises he has a problem, as with any other addiction, your input is going to do diddly squat! He will just hide more stuff and be more secretive. I was very lucky in the fact that my husband was fairly receptive to the fact he had a problem when I told him about this site. It still took a few more days and another tantrum for him to accept it. If you too, can get your head around the fact it's an addiction, it may help you to help him (and yourself). There are so many couples on this site (my hubby is Silverback) and although the 'avenues' each couple are going down may be different, the guys seem to say more or less the same thing and the women all share more or less the same emotions and scars of being hurt so much. It's a great site with great people.
     
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  9. hopefulbrain

    hopefulbrain Fapstronaut

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    People arent projects to work on. If you are unhappy with him express why. Sexual intimacy is a big part of maintaining a healthy relationship, if he isnt receptive to you expressing your needs why are you dating him? The biggest favor my exes ever did me is leave me which helped me realize i needed to reform. Allowing someone the benifits without maintaining the conditions means the conditions arent really there. Romantic Love is conditional both of you have needs and yours arent being met.
     
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