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Almost a year and a half of struggle after big progress, looking for a mentor

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by JaMorant01, Sep 6, 2022.

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  1. Sep 6, 2022 #1
    JaMorant01

    JaMorant01 Fapstronaut

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    Hey everyone, long story short I've been addicted to porn for probably 6 years (been watching it for 10 years) I'm 23 and I managed to make some great progress between the age of 21 and 22, I got to 190 days clean and I was sorting my life out. However I fell back into it may 2021 and eversince my longest streak may have been around 30 days.

    I'm probably as addicted as every, the grip it has on me certainly is very strong and the strongest it has ever been but I'll keep on fighting until the day I die. My determination remains strong but I feel like I'm getting more and more numb by the day which I can't deal with anymore.

    I'm basically looking for someone who's been clean for a while and who has figured it out, to learn from them, to build a relationship, a mentorship, a friendship, a brotherhood, someone to keep me accountable at all times (I use covenant eyes but I don't really have anybody to keep me accountable)

    I'm a very ambitious man, I'm heavy into lifting, self development, spirituality & that sort of stuff, I fully take responsability for the mistakes I make and I'll never make any excuses for my shortcomings.

    I don't have time anymore to make the same mistake for the thousand time, I'm thinking everyday that I fail, what if I died today, would I be satisfied with my life ? I can't stand that the answer is no everytime man, I'll do anything I can to move away from this thing that is taking my soul!
     
    JaMorant01, Sep 6, 2022
    JaMorant01, Sep 6, 2022
    #1
  2. Sep 9, 2022 #2
    Coyoteblue

    Coyoteblue New Fapstronaut

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    @KingDavidQPS
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    Dude is the real deal.
    Worth every penny.
     
    Coyoteblue, Sep 9, 2022
    Coyoteblue, Sep 9, 2022
    #2
  3. Sep 12, 2022 #3
    Joe1023

    Joe1023 Fapstronaut

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    My addiction started initially about 35 years ago when I found my dad's porn videos and magazines. When the internet came along, it was that put my addiction into full overdrive and it spread like wildfire! I'm not about to insult anyone running a program that you have to pay for or try to steer you clear for that, I'm just going to point you in the direction I went that has helped me tremendously! And that is the 12 step SA program. Sexaholics anonymous is a place I went that was a bit uncomfortable at first, but that was absolutely necessary for me to go through to get to a place where I could step outside myself, in a way, and look at the havok I was wreaking on my family and myself. SA encourages its each member to get a sponsor to talk to and get advice from. The sponsor is someone who was worked the 12 steps, or at least is farther in the 12 steps than the member is. The SA website has information about local meetings you can attend. They're all completely free. There are some books you can buy if you want, but they usually have books to borrow for each meeting if you can't buy them. Also, I talk to a CSAT (certified Sex Addiction Therapist.) Its just normal therapy about life and problems or issues about whatever, but my therapist is trained in addiction to porn/sex/lust. He doesn't poke or prod me for information, I just tell him whatever I want to talk about or work on. Sometimes he has activities or things I work on, or just think about, before our next session, other times he just has me talk about experiences I've had. But the key to a good therapist is that he/she works for YOU. The connection you two have has to be good for your recovery or it will be pointless. I'd be more than happy to share my experiences with you or give advice if you ever want it, but the number one thing I'm pushing here is for you to join SA.

    I wish you the very best of luck! It sounds like you're really ready to start fighting this fight!
     
    Joe1023, Sep 12, 2022
    Joe1023, Sep 12, 2022
    #3