I made it 5 days without PMO and then on Saturday I had a total relapse. I binge watched twice. I was home alone and didn't have anything to do all day, I had tried to see if any of my friends wanted to hang out but no one responded. By the afternoon I was feeling sad and lonely and turned to my usual gravity bong and PMO to try and make myself feel better. The problem is it did, temporarily... The rush of dopamine had me feeling good enough to put some nice clothes on, get out of my apartment, and go get some work done. This was of course followed by a crash later and I ended up at home again feeling sad and anxious. I've been fighting with anxiety and depression all year and I can't help but wonder if this is a self sustaining cycle where sadness and loneliness causes me to turn to my vices in order to feel better followed by more sadness due to the fact that my brain is riding the wave of chemical peaks and valleys. Has anyone else had a similar experience?
Yes trust me i've experienced that. Nofap for 90 days and you'll see the difference ! And don't be discouraged by flatline or peaks of stress in your journey, you're coming back from hell to heaven it's normal.
The good thing here is that you're aware of what's causing your relapses. This allows you to do something to prevent it from happening again. If you're consistently hitting a rut at the 1 week mark, which is a challenging time in your reset, you need to have your guard up especially at that time. Everybody's different with how they choose to avoid relapse but for me it was making sure I exercised for 1 hour/day, avoiding isolation at all costs, and keeping myself busy with housework, projects, social events, etc. Have a game plan for how you're going to avoid those situations when you know you're most vulnerable and it will help you get through it. Also have a 'plan B' for if you end up in those situations. If you notice you're thinking about relapsing, stop yourself immediately, go outside and walk a mile, call a friend/accountability partner, go out to eat somewhere, whatever get's you out of the situation. Knowing what you're going to do in advance is critical to avoiding relapse.
This statement resonates with me on so many levels. Not just regarding PMO but with mental health in general. My biggest issue it seems is being able to keep my head in the game. Its easy to get distracted and let my mind wander towards negative thoughts and thats when I get stuck in the rut of dwelling on my shortcomings and feeling bad about myself, often to the point where I PMO just to think about something else. I've been trying to maintain more thoughtful presence in order to live in the here and now.
