Hi guys, today is the 29th day of my reboot and I'm serious this time to complete my life without porn although i have a strong urge from time to time and in one time before ,i would relapse but i didn't. By the way my only problem i have is the strong depression because of feeling lonely. I'm 21 years old and I'll graduate when I'm 23 and I'll immigrate then take a one year to verify my certificate in this new country, which means I'll be 25 or 26 years old unless i joined the forced military which i wish I don't because it will delay me 1 to 3 years more . İ know that no matter what your age is as long as you see your self as a young.but i still has these thoughts in my head. I'll be old and my time would be passed I don't have a girlfriend and I'm feeling I'm in need for love and i always need for love (there's a girl who told me she loves me but I'm not sure about her and I'm sure about is her personality is really perfect for me at least) And currently ,All i think about is just having a beautiful adorable girl to be mine and I'll be for her,all i want is girl who obey me as i obey her , simply love me as I'll love her but i feel my time will over before i find this girl or I'll find her too late. And now all i can think of is that i need a true love with a beautiful girl (i know beauty is relative ) but i don't know why physical beauty is essential for me as the personality and i can't marry a beautiful girl with a bad personality because after time this beauty may go away but personality will stay with me. I'm introvert to some extent and i find always problem in initiation of conversation with different gander and i don't trust dating app or sites. I'm feeling I'm at the Rock bottom of my life and I want to die , i can't stand the idea of living anymore seriously, but in the same time , I'm afraid of what is after death. İ feel I'm really in need for love and i wasn't in any relationship before. Because all of this i find my self having urge to escape from all of these feeling by watching porn but I'm refuse although these feeling does really hurt. Sorry, if my talking is not organized but i can't seriously organize my thoughts. Any advice please
First of all you need to get yourself out of that attitude, no one wants you to die. 29 days is great progress on your reboot and if you're at rock bottom now that can only mean there are good things to come. I relate to how your feeling, I never had any relationships until I was 19. I felt like I would never find anyone until one day a beautiful girl entered my life. Experiencing a relationship for the first time is worth those years of loneliness, I still greatly value those memories to this day. However, while the time we dated was amazing I was only in the early stages of recovering from my PMO addiction. I was not ready for a relationship, addicts are deceitful and unpredictable people and because of this we broke apart. Let this motivate you to continue rebooting because if you don't, once a beautiful girl enters your life you may not be ready to give her what she deserves. The pain of this is far greater than that of loneliness... Luckily for me I found god and now miraculously that girl has come back into my life, I don't yet know if she will give me another shot but I am doing my best to become the best version of myself before I ask her. My advice for you is to keep working on yourself. How is a girl going to love you when you don't even love yourself? When you work hard and do things that make you happy, you can find love when you least expect it. You can try dating apps if you want because during these times it is hard to meet people and it's how I found my first relationship. Best of luck brother, I really hope you feel better soon!
I can't find any tip for you to find that kind of girl. It may sound as empty words to you, but I think you shouldn't waste your life with expectations fed by Disney, Hollywood, etc. I'm not telling you that real love doesn't exist, I'm saying that relationships are far more complicated than we can see. Maybe your instagram pals tell you other story, but the fact is that nobody posts bad things about their own lives. There is a thing that I see as an oxymoron of life: the more eager for attention you are, the more lonely you will be. If we can accept that, we can hope to find a balance between social life and alone moments. We are fundamentally lonely (as stated in Evangelion, an anime I like) and we must endure it. You are too young, you shouldn't feel that bad. There is time to work on your mind. You remembers myself when I started to try to change my personality and be more thoughtful (it was mainly because of my contact with that mindblowing anime LOL). I was your age. Now, I am 25, never had a girlfriend, am virgin and only in a few occasions I get intimate with them. I don't know if one day I'll have one, but I've learned not to let it depress me. I haven't lost my hope yet, but you can be sure: life is more than that. Just change the mindset (it takes time, obviously). Cunts have power over us man, we can't let ourselves be so patheticly begging. Our only chance to have a healthy relationship with women is to improve ourselves. Otherwise, we will just try to fill our void with another mere imperfect being.
Your 21 and your still young, at 26 or 27 your still young , my dad only meet my mum when he was thirty , so dont worry
Pal What you're feeling is normal PMO took away any negative feelings you had It "solved" all your life's issues It was your crutch Now you're feeling the withdrawal. You feel feelings You don't want that and you're looking for another anaesthetic In form of a beautiful girl And that's ok The thing is, if you can't look after your life, no one will like you since you don't like yourself And you're on the way there You're doing NoFap. Start working on your life Become a magnet. Not a beggar. The first attracts people The second disgusts people I'm on the journey with you
