any of you guys struggle with comparing your girlfriend to other women?

I understand who my gf is and I appreciate that. I don't want her to change, more to grow into her own potential. Like refine her traits and find some focus.

My gf is amazing. Smart, sexy, fun and extroverted. I appreciate her but its not that I compare her so much as I know that aspects of my life would be drastically improved if I were with someone else.

I carry a lot of my gf's responsibilities. So it is not uncommon for me to look at women who have their life together and are in similar domains as I am who would be a great partner and not require as much work. That being said you cant really know what problems u will run into with other women. The same can be said about you, you dont know what other women will find problematic about you and insufficient. Its not bad to compare , its bad to take it too seriously and not to understand your own emotions and insecurities on why u are doing it so casually.

For me its like I love her for who she is and as her bf I will help make her the best version of herself. Yes sure other types of women have their own benefit but I am not with them and I have no reason to leave a happy stable relationship.

So if these things are making your relationship unhappy and causing instability then you would need to stare inward not outward. Often if you have a nice gf, and ur honest about ur emotions and u take her perspective into account then you can work it out. A lot of people like to pretend they dont have certain thoughts or they are too admirable to do that but you are human since you are honest enough to be aware of these thoughts and try to face it then you have a good chance of fixing it.

 

Prime, it sounds more like the issue is that she doesn't want to do anything for you, not how sexy she is compared to anyone else...

 

Its definitely normal to think these thoughts. In fact, it's even more normal for a porn addict, because we're so used to being able to have anything you want in front of you.

Unfortunately, its not fair to demand her of these things, because she is, after all, her own woman, and she gets the final say on what she does with or puts on her own body. Honestly, that's essence of what makes sexual encounters with a real person so much more rewarding. With porn, you can literally pull anything you want in front of you, its so easy. It's TOO easy! When your woman decides to do (or not do) something for you, it means so much more, and its so much more rewarding.

 

Very sensible viewpoint you have.

 

Hey mate I get you wholeheartedly. I do the exact same. I see girls and compare my gf to them. Physical features (why can’t she look like this... why can’t she have this) or why can’t she say things like this and especially the fact she isn’t very sexually adventurous.. why can’t she do the things my friends gfs do to them.

I feel that’s exactly it... the fact that I am never satisfied with what I have. I guess with this I’m trying to rationalise that I can’t have everything I want like in porn where I am one search or click away from my desire.

Another thing in my case is that I seem to live through others and very competitive. Eg if he has that I want that too. This means that often I need confirmation form other people before I can think a certain view. Like need others to think my gf is perfect for me to think so.....