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Approached a girl sober, for the first time in a long time!

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Reborn16, Jan 4, 2017.

  1. Jan 4, 2017 #1
    Reborn16

    Reborn16 Fapstronaut

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    Hi guys, minor success story...

    I approached a cute girl at the gas station today, chatted her up and made her laugh a bit then asked for her number! She said she had a BF, which may have been a test, or she may have just had a boyfriend.. Being my first real time at this I erred on the side of letting her go, so I left it at that and she was pretty cool about the whole thing (smiling the whole time after I told her my intentions)..

    Anyways, just wanted to share this because I am 26, and probably since high school I don't think I've ever approached a girl (while sober) and shown intention to date.

    The combination of NoFap and doing things with my new spare time seems to give a boost of confidence to try this, and I'm just tired of listening to my doubts and taking the easy option!!. Full throttle ahead now though, going to try this more and hopefully get better at it and if the planets align find a female human to date lol.

    Please share guys, what's the best place you like to approach/ask out girls while sober?
    And have you had the same kind of breakthrough, if this was a problem for you too?
    Cheers
     
    Reborn16, Jan 4, 2017
    Reborn16, Jan 4, 2017
    #1
    HipPete, Sailor93, The |E|volutionary and 1 other person like this.
  2. Jan 4, 2017 #2
    The |E|volutionary

    The |E|volutionary Fapstronaut

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    I don't approach. Waste of time. I've learned a few things when I used to approach though. Good on you for taking responsibility! Get out there and level up!
     
    The |E|volutionary, Jan 4, 2017
    The |E|volutionary, Jan 4, 2017
    #2
    Reborn16 likes this.
  3. Jan 4, 2017 #3
    Deleted Account

    Deleted Account Guest

    How so? Well, maybe if you don't have any intentions meeting anybody of opposite gender it is though.
    Beach, park, shopping mall. People there are usually relaxed and not in a hurry so more likely to be open to talk and be open to date / meeting new people / giving a number. Worst time is probably at morning on streets when everybody's grumpy and rushing to work lol.
     
    Deleted Account, Jan 4, 2017
    Deleted Account, Jan 4, 2017
    #3
    Reborn16 likes this.
  4. Jan 5, 2017 #4
    TooManlyForSalad

    TooManlyForSalad Guest

    Tried online dating? My story isn't too different to yours. I'm sober near 6 years and I have used dating sites since as it saves going out. Had some good success. Save yourself some time and money.
     
    TooManlyForSalad, Jan 5, 2017
    TooManlyForSalad, Jan 5, 2017
    #4
  5. Jan 5, 2017 #5
    R92B

    R92B Moderator Assistant Staff Member Moderator Assistant

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    This. Mainly because of my crippling anxiety, coupled with the fact that less than 1% of the population approaches strangers in public spaces rendering it socially awkward and uncomfortable. I find the whole thing very uncomfortable and just not a done thing unless you're at a bar/drinking forum.

    I once did it and the girl was bewildered; as if it has literally never happened to her despite her being gorgeous. Society has definitely changed.
     
    R92B, Jan 5, 2017
    R92B, Jan 5, 2017
    #5
  6. Jan 5, 2017 #6
    Reborn16

    Reborn16 Fapstronaut

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    Cool I will definitely try it a bit more! It seems like a 1/100 chance or less but still good fun. And you say it's a waste of time for you, what's your alternative?
    I tried it once (short term trial subscription), got a weird vibe like the girls had all been there a lonnng time and they were more interested in getting attention from their pics for an ago boost. Then again that was just one site, and I wasn't there long. You've had success so maybe I will give that another go too.
    I can relate, my social anxiety has improved but slowly over time. I have seen all the youtube videos of people approaching (not just the prank ones), and I've read a lot about success stories - girls seemed to like getting approached IRL 'just like in the movies'... However, I have never seen it in person, ever. That must say something... Oh well, I'm treating this as an experiment for now, going to make myself and a few more girls feel awkward to see if this works lol.
     
    Reborn16, Jan 5, 2017
    Reborn16, Jan 5, 2017
    #6
  7. Jan 6, 2017 #7
    Jesum9

    Jesum9 Guest

    Try to think of approaching girls as something for you, not them. I read somewhere that as a man when you see a girl you are interested in and you want to talk to her but you don't, a piece of your manhood is taken away. I feel like this is true. When you don't show yourself that you have the guts to talk to the girl, you feel weak and a little hopeless. If you do talk to the girl, you feel much better.

    Now I'm not saying to creepily hit on every girl you see. There is a right time to talk to a girl. I am also not saying that you always have to have that perfect line to get her number. What I AM saying is have some fun and enjoy life a little bit. Make a joke or tease a girl around you. Say hello and talk a little. No harm. If it feels right, get her number. Some girls will be b*tches but from my experience, many have manners and enjoy the conversation as long as it is light and enjoyable.

    You'll feel way better about yourself, even if she completely rejected you, knowing you had the guts to say something and you didn't wimp out.

    If anyone wants to talk about this more just message me. It's something I'm working on in my self development so it would be cool to talk to someone about it with similar goals.
     
    Jesum9, Jan 6, 2017
    Jesum9, Jan 6, 2017
    #7
    Reborn16 likes this.
  8. Jan 6, 2017 #8
    The |E|volutionary

    The |E|volutionary Fapstronaut

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    Or, maybe it is whether I want to or not. Ever think of that? Of course not.
     
    The |E|volutionary, Jan 6, 2017
    The |E|volutionary, Jan 6, 2017
    #8
  9. Jan 7, 2017 #9
    Deleted Account

    Deleted Account Guest

    You want to or not what? To meet women?
    Think of what?
     
    Deleted Account, Jan 7, 2017
    Deleted Account, Jan 7, 2017
    #9

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