Welcome back! Good to see you again. And thanks, as always, for your excellent advice. Forgiveness is key, both towards self and anyone who has hurt you. I know I am forever working on that. Probably always will be, and that's ok. Empathy is at the top of my list now. I think I have so much empathy it blinded me to others who lack it. I still have trouble accepting that people can be so dishonest and cause so much pain for others. So happy to hear you've found someone new, someone you can be honest and open with. That's the dream, right? How did he react to your last relationship and these specific issues? I'd be curious to get the take on PA from a non-PA. I don't disagree with you about the unlikelihood of finding a man who doesn't watch P. I'm afraid it's a dealbreaker for me now, though - too much education about the industry and what it does to relationships has left me with a sour taste in my mouth, in addition to the trauma. And that's ok. If I'm unable to find someone who can happily refrain from looking at other women naked, I'll be just fine by myself. I found things so much better when the sexual energy was focused in and on the relationship rather than used up alone. I learned a lot in the last few years and value things differently than I did before. Ignorance was bliss, but inauthentic. Reality, however ugly, offers the potential for something so much more satisfying than fantasy.