Hi everyone, new joiner to FAP. See my story below, not sure whether it gets read but its been cathartic to write. Keen for insights on: 1) how can you handle FAP / sex worker addiction while living in a major city and being constantly connected to the internet. Has anyone just gone cold turkey (get rid of laptop, phone etc?) 2) places you can go to find a buddy (sex addict / former addict) to help with addiction (i.e. someone to call when you're struggling) Thanks! I have struggled with sex addiction since my teens, which given my poor performance in scoring with girls in my early years meant a lot of masturbating, and eventually using sex workers. This has continued pretty consistently to current day, punctuated by periods of relationships where my addiction took priority (masturbating in the bathroom behind my girlfriends back, cheating on them) and undermined any sense of fostering love or seeing anything in them beyond a sexual object which I would eventually get bored with. I am now 37, good job, no kids, in a loving relationship. There are two sides to my personality - the side that loves my gf, wants a family, and a normal life. The sex addict side which internally critiques her body / approach in bed (negative aspects of her body - she could have better ass, be more of a slut etc), says to break up, bang other chicks etc. When I'm in sex addict mode I FAP, cheat on her with sex workers. When I'm not I feel guilty and try and compensate and give her love and make things work. Inparticular the cheating on sex workers eats away at me. I cant stop this through will power alone - gaaaaaad I've tried. I have spent the last few months in a more focused effort, largely by trying to remove or sanitise the internet in my life. I've told her about my FAP addiction (not sex worker, that would kill her) and she now has the 4 digit pin for my iPhone to block content (tinder, porn sites etc). We have Qustodio on my laptop so she can monitor me there and block content, I have snapped all my debit cards so I cant withdraw cash to pay for sex workers (brothels have started doing contactless payments here in Australia though which is annoying - I use my iPhone to pay for things). My sex addict side keeps finding ways around this - I recently discovered my PS4 has a web browser and relapsed in a big way (2 sex workers in one day, lots of masturbating to porn). I've now disconnected the PS4 from the internet and scratched off the wifi code from the router, so only she knows the password if I want to take the PS4 online. I recently also found out that the iphone parental block doesn't cover onlyfans (go figure...…) and used this for a few weeks before admitting to her and we added it to the blocked sites list. Given these experiences, I am concerned that in sex addict mode I will find a way around these blocks. I could go to an internet café and look up sex workers, we have a fancy TV and I'm pretty sure there is a web browser on it somewhere, I could rock up to a brothel and pay contactless. I normally get to about 3 weeks NoFap / sex workers before going nuts and literally hunting for it. I think the nuclear option is just complete disconnect from the internet and the ability to handle cash. Give up my iPhone and use an old Nokia. Let my girlfriend or someone give me an allowance each day of cash to spend. Sell my motorbike so means of transport to visit sex workers taken away. The problem here is this inhibits my life and looks strange to friends, my gf also wont understand the cash allowance bit. The other option is to split from my GF and give her the chance of a normal life, while I try to manage the addiction or just let it consume me. In sex addict mode I'm comfortable with this, normal mode I don't want too. I've discussed with the gf and we now have a more multi layered plan. It includes going to sex shop and being more experimental in our sex life (recognizing that if I am a sexual fiend, should not inhibit this but try and channel it through her), all the above in terms of limiting internet use, do more exercise and hobbies to distract from sex. Will see how this goes. I have looked into therapy here but its expensive and didn't seem to have much value. The therapist wasn't a sex addict and I couldn't relate to them. I have looked at support groups here but they are all religious based and I'm not sure about that. What I would like is a fellow sex addict to talk to, share approaches to managing it, call when need help etc. Will have a look round FAP and see if there is a forum for this. If you got this far - thanks for reading!
