Back to the Basics

I've been on here for a couple weeks now. I've read some of your posts and sent some feedback... but, I haven't made myself sit down and introduce myself until now. Call me crazy, but I just hate admitting that I need help. I enjoy solving issues myself and working through things logically, however this porn issue is a pain in the ass. I tend to bury myself in work or self-improvement exercises, all-the-while neglecting what I really want to get done in my life. I guess I'm a typical case of trying to do too much and getting nothing done. After periods of high stress, I end up coming back to my comfort zone (my room) and avoiding people.

I find that I just don't have the masculine punch I used to enjoy. In no way shape or form am I trying to deflect my responsibility for preferring porn over regular old human interaction... but, I sometimes wonder if some of our struggles are brought on by the almost ubiquitous use of hormone contraception.



I lived in Mexico from 2011-2013 studying Spanish and doing translation work with Coca-cola. While I was there, I rarely had any urges to watch porn or masturbate. Women and men reciprocated flirtatious gestures all the time... I had two very nice girl friends who made me feel appreciated and centered. Later, I came to find out that very few women per capita used hormonal contraception. Frankly speaking, I was delighted without really knowing why.

Come forward to 2017, I'm living in a big american city and I have trouble sexually connecting with women. I used tinder and bumble to make some new connections... tinder was a waste of fucking time (and money)... but bumble lead me to a several interesting ladies. The trouble? I see them as friends... nothing more. I mean, there's like a force-field around them. I wanted to take things to the next level, then my attraction faded quickly. I'm thinking that it's a combination of pornography clouding my judgement and setting strange expectations... and, I just want to have kids... and my brain/body doesn't sense these women as sexually attractive because of the hormonal manipulations. This feeling of women unknowingly jeopardizing their chance to be with a loving, creative, and dedicated man like myself drives me insane on the inside... giving me a feeling of separation, depression, and impotence (great triggers for porn abuse... :/)

Do you see my point? What thoughts can you contribute? I'm all ears.