Can anxiety be cured?

Hi Don

After over 40 years of using 'soothing mechanisms' like porn and sex, I find it hard now I feel anxiety and don't have a calming mechanism which works so well. But that shows the nature of our minds on porn I guess.

I guess that these days I try more to acknowledge that it is a feeling and it will pass. Meditation has helped me with this. I also try to reframe: rather thinking "I am anxious" I try to now think that "I am worried" or "I am concerned".

I try to also think if it is an irrational anxiety or a rational anxiety (something that I might be able to fix buy reading or learning). If it is irrational then REBT has a tool called ABC to dispel irrational thoughts which U use a lot and find it invaluable. And there is the old stoic approach of saying no to worry about the things that we cannot change. Easier said than done maybe but food for thought!

I haven't used antidepressants but I do therapy which helps to talk through anxiety issues. I think that more than being cured then it can be actively managed so it doesn't interfere with life balance.

 

I’ve found my emotions have changed so much since being clean - and I wonder to what extent some of our problems are caused by the chemical imbalance we’ve created by PMO and having our lifestyle wrong… or at least not as nature (or god if you prefer) intended for us.

I after 92 days clean feel better and happier than I have in many years. I hope it remains that way!

 

I attended SAA for a while a few years ago and one of the first things that they said were being clean was great because you got your feelings back and being clean was bad because you got your feelings back lol. I've shunned and distorted feelings for years and years and I admit that I do find it hard but I have this feeling (no pun intended) that things get better in accepting them rather than having to hide them away.

If you need to talk about tomorrow's stress then feel free to pm. I often find that talking to someone rationalises and develops a strategy for dealing with it.

 

I’m not sure how others experience anxiety but mine typically feels like my body becomes squirmy and restless especially my abdomen area. I guess it’s called “butterflies in the stomach” and it is really uncomfortable.

Usually feel this when I’m put in a social situation that I’m uncomfortable with such as a job interview or public speaking. I have never figured out how to calm this anxiety and it goes away quickly after I get out of the uncomfortable situation.

Another type of anxiety would be from my OCD, this feeling is different and the anxiety is felt more in the mind rather than body. After an OCD trigger, my brain gets bombarded with thoughts that I just can’t keep out until I do a compulsion for it. An example would be checking my lock after I leave my apartment but as I’m driving away, loud thoughts would come in like a tsunami “You probably didn’t lock the door , you need to check one more time. Go back home now and check!” It would repeat over and over in my head to the point where I give in and check. Then I would have to pray to not have to come back another time.

 

So for me typically anxiety is fear of the future, it's fear of change, it's fear of what may become, fear of being inadequate, fear of failure, fear of disapproval.

What really helps me cure this issue and become comfortable in myself again is realizing that I am often just creating unneeded stress over things out of my control. My fight or flight instinct kicks in and I respond in all sorts of negative behavior.

What I can do is control my responses to them. And work to make changes in my life that make these fears less likely to actually happen. A certain acknowledgement that sometimes bad things happen no matter what helps relieve much of my anxiety. I can't control my fear of mortality, however I can choose to live a healthy life.

It is likely similar to what you are describing in terms of meditation.

I have to consistently remind myself I'm safe, that I don't need to react at all to my anxiety, that no matter how much I try to run and hide from anxiety that it is a natural part of life. In a way I've become more "comfortable" feeling anxious. Thus it doesn't have the same hold on me as it once did. Even though it's natural and inevitable it doesn't have to take over my life.