I've come a long way and have made lots of improvements. I've completely stopped porn, I've stopped fantasizing, and most importantly I've shut out all my internet porn substitutes (which has been a major problem in the past). However, I am struggling with not ogling women when they pass by. I know I am viewing women as a porn substitute, but I can't help not take a peak (and look at women pervertedly). I would say I resist about 20-30% of the time a pretty girl passes by. Any advice?
Well I cant offer any advice sadly.Since I suffer with this same problem as well but the one thing I would suggest is look at these women as living ,breathing women with different personalities and different goals in life.Which makes them so exciting to us men.It's kinda lame what I said there..but it's the best I can do.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with looking at the real thing in REAL life. The problems will arise when you start objectifying, de-dressing, and fantasising about them. Look at them and apreciate their beauty, and tell your self I'd love to get to know her, and learn about her passions, and what she's interested in. Perhaps she dresses cool? Keep it PG rated
Ogling women is a major problem for us fapstronaunts. Something my girlfriend discovered and taught me is called The 3-second Rule. It has been the most helpful tool in training myself to appreciate women for what they are and not what we want them to be. The hole thing involves only 3 seconds (obviously) and is super easy to learn. It will help train your mind to seek positive reinforcement about non sexual things about women. Step #1— Notice. Noticing beautiful women is natural, but ogling and fantasizing about them is not. Your first step noticing they are there. A beautiful woman walk by. Your eyes must always stay above the neck. Notice something you find beautiful or alluring about her, such as her hair, eyes, etc. Step #2— Appreciate. Appreciating women for something other than their boobs or butts is vital to training your mind to be better. Like I said: Eyes above the neck. Appreciate what you found that you liked about her. It is always good to even maybe tell her. Complementing is always nice. Step #3— Move On. This is the easiest step of them all. Move on. Just keep on doing whatever the hell you were doing. Never give yourself a second chance. It will be much harder not to ogle the second time around. Notice. Appreciate. Move on. I hope this helps. Just count 1..2..3! Easy as hell to learn and get good at. Good luck my friend.
Isn't that what ogling is anyway though? While the 3 second rule is good too, I find it useful to pre-occupy myself with my thoughts when I am out and about in public. I find thinking about something you're interested in is good. For me, it seems I can distract myself endlessly by thinking about cars: when I need something to occupy my mind but I don't want to think about important stuff. If you make the effort to pre-occupy yourself, not only can you reduce obsessing over girls, you can reduce you noticing them in the first place! Also, should you find yourself talking to someone, a man or a woman, you may find the conversation can flow more easily, as you haven't made any assumptions beforehand about the person you're talking to.
The three second rule is absolutely good. You can also try this: the next time you notice a pretty girl pass by - and I mean the very next time - don't even stop to appreciate. Notice, then move on. Then ask yourself later, how much do I regret not giving that girl a second look? For me, I never get around to asking this question because I've forgotten all about her at that point. But, I'll bet you that it wouldn't keep you up at night. And, you'll gain a bit of confidence knowing that you resisted. However, I also agree with something else that was mentioned above. It's not a terrible thing to appreciate real girls! That's one thing most of us are trying to achieve with NoFap! Learning to appreciate real women! You just gotta keep the "ogling" under 3 seconds, my friend
Think of her as somebody's daughter, sister, mother, etc. In your mind put yourself in the role of her father, brother, family and imagine her growing up as a little baby, then a young kid, and now a woman. Considering that we have all grown up from being a baby and all hopefully have family/friends that love us, this method really helps to remind me that she is human just like you and me with all the amazing complexities that make women so much more than sex objects.
I'm suffering a little bit of this. More than I'd like to admit. Your story is similar to mine. I have been good otherwise, but when I'm out in public, many times, if there is someone semi attractive inside of my age-range (which is 21 - 45 right now), then I'll look. And almost look again. It doesn't feel right. I'm trying to practice the 3-second rule, but it's hard sometimes when they are looking back.
