Catholic / Orthodox Fapstronauts

If you need something to steamroll your reboot forward, this may help you as it has helped me:

Start the K-Love 30 Day Challenge. Cut anything else out of your life for the first 21 days (YouTube, TV, excessive social media usage, things that may not necessarily be bad, but aren't necessarily good either), and only listen to K-Love, or some other local Christian station, and read your Bible as much as you can. After 21 days, slowly start transitioning into the long-term. You don't necessarily only have to listen to K-Love for the rest of you life, but find the equilibrium point, where you find a good balance between worship music and other styles, between the holy, and the secular. Find the balance! Listening to K-Love as much as possible will help you with this tremendously! Tomorrow I'll be posting about how I accomplished 30 Days of Hard Mode in the Success Stories forum, so you can read about how it helped me when that is posted, and I'll be posting a Day-By-Day journal log that I've kept during that time in my journal linked in my signature. Be on the lookout for that!

Stay clean, stay groovy, stay awesome, and *cheesily points with both hands* stay relentless.

 

Hello, fellow Roman Catholic here. I have been caught up in a vicious PMO cycle for most of my life. I'm getting tired of having to go to confession for this problem. One of the priests asked if I had considered counseling. Ouch! Our society considers PMO to be a reasonably healthy and harmless outlet/activity for most adults, and I never considered it to be disordered until my confessor put it in that light. I asked if my culpability would be diminished to the point of it not being a grave sin for me since I am addicted to it. He stated that it is still a grave sin and that he would pray for me. So I just went to confession (again) today at a Dominican parish (the only place i could find a weekday reconciliation) and am more determined than ever to conquer this. Please pray for me.

 

Hi Catholic Friend,

I've been there, in and out of confessions, for many years and have been given all kinds of advice from the most liberal to the most conservative of confessors, had priests that just gave up on me or gave me ultimatums that made me not want to or unable to come back, and had priests that were ever so patient and merciful with me (but with no solution necessarily), but to me the latter were the face of Jesus to me. I've had humiliating moments, and I have had priests who always welcomed me. The reason for my urgency for confession was because I always have been very religious from childhood, always felt wounded with palpable heavy feelings in my heart from sins of impurity, that I just could not live in such sins for that long. Some priests who gave me free license (very few actually) never satisfied me; I also was never satisfied by the diminished freedom argument either, since my heart and conscience told me otherwise, and I knew what the Church taught about this PMO activity. Ironically, now the secular world is so ever coming to realize how destructive PMO is to the mind, body, soul, and relationships - just read all the sorrowful and distressed stories on this site (suicidal even), even from nonreligious men.

Anyway, there have been other graced lessons that I have learned along the way.

As bad as PMO is and as much as we need to learn to live in chastity, there are actually some more fundamental lessons that we need to learn first before we can ever be free of this addiction:

1) We must always know in a real way that God still loves us even when we are in the cesspool of PMO sin.
2) We must really trust that God is merciful; God can easily forgive our sins if we are contrite, but he cannot make us love or trust in his goodness.
3) When St, Paul defines "love is patient, love is kind, etc.," he is actually revealing the nature of God as well, since God is love. One secret that many don't think too much about God, apart from his being good and loving (and infinitely so), is that God is also Infinitely Kind. We must tap into the infinitely kind heart of God, responding with our own love and gratitude.
4) We must learn humility, which means neither self-aggrandizing oneself, but also not self-deprecating oneself either, but seeing our truth in the light of God - knowing too that we rely on God for everything. There is no good in our lives that hasn't been given to us by God. The only thing we possess that we can give to God is our free will and our love - he doesn't possess these things outright, but he deserves them. When it comes to PMO addiction, we must realize that we need God to overcome this or any addiction in our life.
5) In contrast, we must also learn the lesson that spiritual growth into virtue and holiness is not a life of "God and me" alone. Catholics know that God is an incarnational divinity - who himself became flesh and dwelt among us. Similarly, we shouldn't be surprised that we cannot rely on God alone to overcome PMO addiction. While it can happen that way (for God can do anything), more than likely God wants (wills) us to grow and learn and struggle with other people like ourselves, so that we can support one another in Him. This is a tricky lesson with PMO addiction - for how many people can you exactly find to share this with and walk this path with. But, on sites like this, there are sincere folk, even amid the insincere or ill-motived, who are sincerely trying to better their lives.
6) We cannot settle for less than holiness in our lives. A final lesson that we also don't realize is that as much as we try to overcome (with God's help) PMO addiction and seem to continually fail still again and again, unbeknownst to us, there are a lot of other imperfections and sins that God is already purifying us of in the midst of PMO failures even (we learn patience, perseverance, love and longing for God, empathy for other's suffering, humility, growth into a life without hypocrisy, etc.). Behind the scenes, God may be purifying us in so may other ways in life, that we may wake up one day and realize that PMO addiction is the only real sin that one has left to be rid of.

This post is already getting long, and I'd love to share more some time of how I am finally finding my way out of this addiction for the first time in my life. I'm 50 yo, and I never had supports like Nofap growing up. I'd say that Nofap is an important tool for me (because of No. 5 above), but not necessarily the most important of tools. But, even the most sophisticated machines can stop running if it is missing an important screw. Similarly, Nofap is like a missing piece of the puzzle (not the only piece, and maybe not the most important, but important enough) that helped the rest of my recovery machine to work.

How old are you, BTW? You mentioned the advice of counseling - Tell me, though, apart from PMO addiction, do you recognize any underlying issues from your life (from childhood, teens, or adulthood) that may benefit from counseling? In other words, does PMO serve you in self-medicating and avoiding some inner past brokenness or pain in any way? This would be important to know. And, feel free to private message me if ever you want to speak privately.

More later.

Best wishes!

 

Hey FFS, welcome! I'd like to offer my encouragement to you as you (along with the rest of us on this site) struggle with the curse of PMO. Ive realized a measure of success mostly by going to Confession last fall. This was my first Confession in 35 + years as I'd fallen away from the Church. At any rate, the priest made it clear, in addition to my own research) that M is a grave sin...no ifs, ands, or buts. I made up my mind that somehow I would defeat this demon, and for more than six months I've succeeded with God's help. I decided that I simply could not take the chance that I might lose my life after stupidly succumbing to this silly temptation of the flesh and before having a chance to confess my sins. I like taking risks, but the gravity of losing this stupid bet would be far too grave (pardon the pun). I've vowed that I will remain chaste and celibate for the rest of my life (I'm a bachelor, you see). I'm hoping and praying that I can succeed in attaining this lofty goal!

What's worked for me is to become super involved with the Church and with my prayer life. I haven't missed a Sunday mass and in fact I attend a couple weekday masses each week. I confess my sins monthly. I read daily devotions, a pray at meals, daybreak, and at bedtime.

I've also gotten involved in volunteering at the rest home and have joined our local Abiders Group (staying with dying persons who have no family nearby). These activities have all helped me to keep busy and think about other people and not myself. Ultimately it is God, of course, who is responsible for any measure of success that any of us might be graced with.

Please don't think that I'm bragging about my experiences as that is definitely not my intent. I'm simply hoping to share some things that have worked for me, and I hope you might benefit from some of them too. Again, welcome to the site, and here's wishing you the very best!

Peace, my friend

 

Hey, guys! I've been looking for wherever it is the Catholics/Orthodox congregate; it seems as though I've found it.

I pray that we can all journey out of this soon. May the love of God fill us always!

 

Does anyone disagree that pornography and masturbation are addictive behaviors, and furthermore, many of us (including me) are addicts? Ok, then think about this: people want "sexual freedom" to do whatever they want, whatever feels good at the moment, no limits, and no rules. In fact, this type of activity leads to slavery, not freedom; we become enslavd to the addictions of sinful sexual behavior through which our bodies are in charge as they demand the instant gratification of things that feel good and look good. When we allow our bodies to rule our beings, it's like the fox guarding the henhouse, because our bodies have no conscience; they only know pleasure and pain. Our consciences are contained in our minds, and thus, it is imperative that we have the discipline to assure that our minds (not our bodies) remain in charge of our beings at all times.

Is it, therefore, easy to live a life of freedom? Freedom from the addictions of not only porography and masturbation, and also alcohol, tobacco, television, food, soda pop, and a slew of other things that we humans get addicted to? Hell no it's not easy, especially once we have allowed ourselves to become addicted to one or more of these evil things.

What is easy is to become addicted (i.e. ENSLAVED) to these sinful behaviors. We only need to let ourselves succumb to peer pressure, experiment a little, ignore The Commandments, ignore what your parents taught you, and follow the advice of another addict. Yes, addiction will come easily.

If we force our bodies to remain subservient to our minds through discipline, through thinking things out and using our consciences, by praying to The Lord Jesus Christ that He might give us the strength to commit our lives to Him, we will then be free for eternity!

Furthermore, through the Grace of God, we can recover the freedom of proper Christlike behavior even if we are currently addicted. No it's not easy, but through Christ's help and a lot of hard work, we can do it. My friends, I pray that you all will go cold turkey and forever swear off the addictions of PMO. Cutting back just plain doesn't work; let's all make a 100% clean break and rediscover the joys of a life of TRUE freedom.

Peace be with you...

 

Is anyone else making any special effort to honour the Holy Mother this month? I'm trying to do a few self-improvement things for May, and I'm making part of that attending mass daily, and saying the rosary daily, in addition to the novenas I've been saying constantly for my wife and my marriage for the past two months. After May, I will go back to attending mass just on Sundays, and saying the rosary more than before, but not every day. I'm also doing no sugar, no alcohol, and no Facebook. I'm not planning to stop any of those forever, but I think the break will do me good.

What's anyone else doing?

 

i've tried to post on some Marian prayers on my blog (funkycedars.blogspot.com). a few years ago, I put together a collection of Marian prayers which we significantly Western in nature, as most of the fellow sojourners are Western Catholics. This year I wanted to share some Eastern prayers. because I don't post as often as I should, I will have more to share next year.

the last ones for this year will relate to my consecration to Jesus through Mary (St Louis de Montfort). the 31st is my 2nd annual renewal and I have not been living it as I hoped I would, or know that I should. She is patient though and has done some things recently to let me know that She wants to help me since it will help me 'work out my salvation' in a positive 'fear and trembling'. As aresult, I have made a concerted effort to prepare for my renewal this year than I did last year.

in addition, I read a book which analyzed the Paraklesis, an Eastern prayer of supplication to the Theotokos which is the foundation for the Slavic Moleben service which my parish prays each weeknight during May. (sadly, I let work and other excuses keep from attending more regularly and only made it to a few.) it renewed my sense of Her love for me which in turn helped focus my preparation for renewing my consecration. a pretty cool way to feel the Ruah of my Great Lover filling both of my lungs.

Allen, if I might, I'd suggest trying to keep up the daily rosary; remembering moments of Jesus' earthly life can be a powerful re-centering of God's continued presence in our everyday life.

 

I absolutely plan to continue.

 

Hi all,

I am new here and I am very happy that there is a Catholic-Orthodox group here. I was dirrected to NoFap by one of my regular confessors.
Since it seems that a Marian thread is going on at the moment, I was wondering if there are any fellow members of the Angelic Warfer Confraternity over here. For those not familar with AWC it is a confraternity dedicated to chastity and purity.

Since Christ established the Church we are obviously meant to be working together to help eachother with our struggles. I hope you guys can be a help to me Also I just wanted to add to a previously posted message that I generally found that most of my Catholic and Orthodox friends with whome I spoke about PMO issues seem to be quite open to talk about their personal struggles in private and that has always been something that stopped me from falling into despair, knowing that I have brothers-in-arms.

Have a holy Sunday!
TadLel

 

Hi guys. I am a follower of Christ who is trying to kick my PMO addiction. I have been making some good progress recently. I am from a Evangelical even though I live in a Catholic house. It's great to see threads like this here.

 

I am planning on doing the "33 Days To Morning Glory" which is a Marian Consecration program. I brought it up to the Adult Faith Formation rep at my Catholic Church, and she is considering offering it in a group setting soon. I think groups work so much better than self-study with this type of thing. I like getting peer feedback as well as the more highly refined opinions of the group leader. I'm much looking forward to this!

Peace always

 

What saints has anyone found are effective intercessors for overcoming your addiction? St. Jude, and St. Maria Goretti for me.

 

I know that St. Thomas Aquinas is the patron Saint for purity,see my previous post about AWC.

 

When I allow her, St Mary of Egypt is a great help in my struggle. She spent her early life reveling in the sensual life, using her body as a means for pleasure and money. Then she met Our Lady and found her way to foot of the Cross and then moved to the desert and there she found atonement and true freedom.

But there are times, like today, when I chose to ignore not only her, but the entire cloud of witnesses and instead climb into my cesspool of porn desire.

That's why I came here. I needed to A) leave where I was, and B) admit my failing so that I could not as easily remain in that darkness.
Whomever you find to be helpful, please ask them to help me.

 

Just said a prayer for you. OLUK, St MG, St J, and St Rita getting your back.

 

thanks much, AllanTheCowboy, that is a great roster you called out on my behalf!

 

I'd make a great GM of a National Intercession League team.

 

Just wanted to share something I've recently experienced. I have, without doubt, felt the clutches of the Evil One and his minions grasping and pulling at me in desperate attempts to drag me back down into the prisons where I was once their captive. The strength of their pulls would grow, and ebb over time. It was genuinely frightening. Sometimes terrifying. One night last summer I am certain I was physically attacked by a demon. I am sure that I'm not the only one to have had to fight him off; indeed I know that we all have.

I'm no longer scared. I no longer have any concern about being recaptured. It really does take an effort, but after successfully getting into a habit of daily prayer, and increasing my devotion to saints and to the Blessed Virgin, and especially saying the rosary and going to mass daily, I have found my way to trust Mary, and trust God to protect me. My spiritual renewal has coagulated into concrete knowledge that Jesus walks with me, as does the Church Triumphant. The Father, the Son, the Holy Spirit, the Mother of God, and all the angels will and do protect us all, all the time. When you feel tempted, pressured, or threatened by any evil, don't fear. Don't despair. They can smell it on you; they feed on it. And you have no reason to. We are powerless, and helpless, but that doesn't matter. The captains and veterans on our team kick ass, and take names for a living. Their breakfast of choice is a bowl of demon teeth, and a cappuccino.

Fear nothing. To get to you, they have to go through the saints, the angels, archangels, seraphim, cherubim, thrones, dominions, virtues, and powers, and *then* Our Lady. After all that, they *still* have to contend with the Heavenly Father, the Holy Spirit, the Precious Blood, Holy Wounds, Sacred Heart and unlimited power of Jesus. No demon can even smell you, much less hurt you, unless you invite it. So next time temptation rears its ugly ass, remember that you don't have to fight it. You just have to say you're not interested, and then let that army of bad-asses punt the little twerp like it's Ron Burgundy's dog.

 

Suddenly needed to draw this. Thought I'd share.