i was going to go hard mode 90 days and all but I have changed my plans for the moment. I have found an app that I use to also help get me rewired called Brain Buddy and it only counts as a restart on my streak if I watch porn so to keep that in sync with it. If I do M without the P I don't feel really guilty especially since I don't bring any imagery in my head, and I figured if doing that every once in a blue moon can help curb the crave then I will not sweat it. I have no spouse or GF so I'm not cheating in that since. I believe the M will go once the P is uprooted
On a bright side I mowed my dog pen and saw a grasshopper and realized how beautiful their green color is
The app looks interesting except for the subscription based model. I'm using the "M to control pain method" When I tried it a few months ago, I fell pretty easily and struggled to get back on the wagon. This time around, as I built up a lot more self control and tools in other aspects of this reboot, I've only had to use it once. So I do echo the caution.
There's no single answer for this. Some will tell you M is never okay. Others will say it is part of healthy sexuality when used in moderation. (I'm in the former camp.) What you need to determine is: Will M lead me back to a loss of control over frequency and duration of recurrence? Will that loss of control lead you back to use of P? Will using M again feed the addictive behaviors, i.e. isolation, compartmentalization, etc.?
