Chat app cyber sex and catfishing

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by GeorgeJetson, Sep 16, 2018.

  1. GeorgeJetson

    GeorgeJetson Fapstronaut

    My addiction is centered around catfishing women on chat apps and engaging them in inappropriate video chats. I'm addicted to having women watch me masturbate despite being married with children. These behaviors have haunted me for many years. I am brand new to NoFap and just committed to a 7 day trial reboot. Does anyone share this same addiction? If so, how do you stay sober? Please provide me with suggestions. I am desperate to recover.
     
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  2. Tryinghardtoquit

    Tryinghardtoquit Fapstronaut

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    Not catfishing but cybersex heaps..married as well.

    It is a process... don't worry so much about the day counting just stick with the recovery and the days will add up.

    For me I exercise. Spend less time on the phone using apps, meditate and try everyday to be better. Sitting on 14 days at the moment. Reducing time on social media helps too.

    Goodluck legend... keep us updated on progress
     
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  3. GeorgeJetson

    GeorgeJetson Fapstronaut

    Staying off social media seems like a solid recommendation as I can easily be triggered by pictures. I'm definitely taking that suggestion as well as the others you provided. Today starts day 2 and I hope to stay as motivated as I did on day 1.

    Thanks again for the support.
     
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  4. hope2overcome_

    hope2overcome_ Fapstronaut

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    Most of these addictions share the same cause and usually remedied by the same solution.

    Cause: Dopamine irregularity caused by believing in the forbidden licentious nature of this catfish/cybersex habit. As a result, you are not addicted to the act of cybersex you are addicted to how you feel when you do it.

    Suppose you are cybersexing with someone but feel nothing. Not even the brains desire to obtain the high, would you still do it? The answer is no.

    Solution:
    1.) Remove the belief you have regarding cybersex. This is the hard part. For me personally, I have suppressed my sexual identity as a result of religious "virtue" and that has been my cause. When I think of my sexual identity as a person who is free I feel more empowered and can kick the desire for dopamine out of my mind.

    2.) The cravings are the cravings for dopamine, the high feeling nothing else. Resist them even if it requires white knuckling. ( go out for a walk or whatever but do not stay in the environment hat causes the relapse, thats the breeding grounds)

    3.) Give it time for the brain structure to rebalance.

    4.) They say you are truly never cured of an addiction. Truth is, this is thankfully a behavioral addiction and thus, by not doing it over time, the brain rebalances, it acts like it forgot and the desire is just gone. You are healed at this point. But seek fulfillment in something fulfilling such as love and disregard the forbidden nature of things that were implanted on our minds as a result of ignorance. They say whichever wolf you feed is the one that will act out the most. The healthy wolf or the addict wolf. Truth is if you stop feeding the addict wolf, it will die.
     
  5. RitzyPETE123

    RitzyPETE123 Fapstronaut

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    I sincerely hope you stop before someone begins threatening to tell all your friends and family about what you do in return for lots of money to keep quiet, because that feeling is horrid. Please stop.
     
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  6. GeorgeJetson

    GeorgeJetson Fapstronaut

    Thanks for the feedback and education. In regards to being extorted, addiction has no boundaries. As I've mentioned before, I have a wonderful family and a career I'm beyond proud of. However, my addiction does not care about that stuff, nor does it care about extortion. Thanks for your concern, but I have far much more to lose than money through extortion. I also do quite a bit to conceal my identity and I never show my face.
     
  7. StraightEdge3616

    StraightEdge3616 Fapstronaut

    Not into catfishing but I've been an addict with chatrooms/cyber sex/roleplaying. It's my main struggle so I know what you are going through.
     
    GeorgeJetson likes this.
  8. GeorgeJetson

    GeorgeJetson Fapstronaut

    The catfishing element is primarily used to conceal my identity as I'm married with children. It's an incredibly tough habit to break. Today is day 3 and I'm feeling strong.
     
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  9. StraightEdge3616

    StraightEdge3616 Fapstronaut

    Yeah, I mean I definitely concealed my identity on chatrooms too, just never did the catfishing part. My problem was with main chat sites online and just roleplaying/cyber sex with males and females.
     
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  10. SirErnest

    SirErnest Fapstronaut

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    There are all sorts of deviations that your brain will lead you towards. However, your brain has also rationally decided to try to tackle the issue. Well done.
    Perhaps in time we will understand why we use stuff like pornography to cope with our lives.
     
    GeorgeJetson likes this.
  11. What you doing is a crime and you could go behind bars for what you doing . Stop doing this else you will be in real troybtr
    I did catfishing and it started to questioning my identity. Stop it as soon as possible
     
  12. Porn No More

    Porn No More Fapstronaut

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    Quit social media until you have long term sobriety and feel confident enough again. Stay away from tv. Instead read self help books, read articles or watch videos from yourbrainonporn. If you go to that website and make it a point to read up on the addiction daily it will help you understand better. Never be alone during this early time in a reboot.
     
  13. GeorgeJetson

    GeorgeJetson Fapstronaut

    For sure, great advice. However, it is unrealistic to believe I will never be alone, keeping my brain focused elsewhere when those times occur is key. I appreciate the suggestions and will definitely check out the videos.
     
  14. Barry Rolfe

    Barry Rolfe Fapstronaut

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    George,
    You might want to check this guys website out. He was in similar straits to you. He has done some pretty good interviews as well. Wrote a half decent book.
    https://recoveringpornaddict.com/
    Good luck.
     
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  15. GeorgeJetson

    GeorgeJetson Fapstronaut

    @Barry Rolfe
    Thanks for providing the resource. I've actually been quite distracted from my program of recovery do to an overabundance of life stressors right now. That site was exactly what I needed to move me back in the right direction. I greatly appreciate your support and I will continue to view the recoveringpornaddict page and all the articles and resources.
     
    Barry Rolfe likes this.
  16. JoshuaShea

    JoshuaShea New Fapstronaut

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    @Barry Rolfe @GeorgeJetson So this explains all of the website hits from here over the last few days...
    George, the best piece of advice I can give you is to pay attention to what's going on in the hours leading up to your catfishing. Odds are, there are plenty of routines and habits built into the lead-up to the addiction you're having trouble with. Many of your answers for beating the addiction will actually be found in the lead-up to acting out. If you can change those things, you may not reach the point that you want to act-out. People's advice in this thread is good, but only about 10% probably would have helped me. You need to work until you figure out exactly how you will overcome. Try everybody's advice, but understand none of it is a silver bullet cure.
    I appreciate Barry's book review. At least it was half-decent :) It sounds like, much like I was, you're probably in a rough spot if you get discovered. I was the top story on the news for several days and have TV cameras at every court appearance. I'm not saying this because I need the $2.12 royalty I get on every book sold, but you should take a look at it and treat it as the cautionary tale it's designed to be. Nobody explained just how much fire I was playing with and boy, did I get burned.
    There are some stories on the recovering porn addict site that will probably help, but you may also want to check out my secondary site, of which there is a link on the right side of the page of the main site. I'd post links, but since this is my first post, Big Brother won't let me.
    Good luck to you.
     
    Barry Rolfe likes this.
  17. Barry Rolfe

    Barry Rolfe Fapstronaut

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    Josh,
    What of this 10% would've helped you?
     
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  18. JoshuaShea

    JoshuaShea New Fapstronaut

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    @Barry Rolfe I have found that exercise and reading books on the subject, not necessarily "self help" but more about the science of addiction and any academic papers I can find on porn addiction are the two things mentioned that helped. I'd toss in that my stint in rehab and getting intense therapy probably did more than everything else combined.
    You can white-knuckle or willpower your way through this stuff -- usually unsuccessfully based on the signature counters I've seen -- but that doesn't actually deal with the root cause of the addiction and addictive behavior. My catfishing/porn addiction was far more about power than anything to do with sex. It took a while to understand that and I don't know if I ever would have unless I had good, professional guides.
     
    Tryinghardtoquit and Barry Rolfe like this.
  19. Barry Rolfe

    Barry Rolfe Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the insight. I too have found that there is no way I could do this w/out professional help. Though it has taken ages for me to find the right fit. I think that Nofap is useful on many levels. Especially in terms of community and info related to addiction etc. The counters are useful as a way of tracking progress...The obsession w/ counters however probably does some people harm. All of this is about finding a proper balance. Working on finding what caused the turn toward porn in the 1st place. Finding a community both online and out there in the real world Making real connections w/ real people. Getting professional help. These have all helped me greatly. My counter for porn is only 20 days but it's almost been 3 months since I've used cams! I am very pleased with this. Websites like NoFap plus your book and website have really given me a good deal. It has been years since I have been able to go as long as I have w/out using cams...I can measure the times when I use porn in weeks instead of hours. The Addiction No One Will Talk About really helped put into context where my behavior could lead. Was never a catfisher. However the amount of money I was spending on cams was untenable though not illegal. Much of my addiction had a power based aspect to it...So thanks man. If you are ever in doubt. You should know you've helped at least one person.
     
  20. Contentful T

    Contentful T Fapstronaut

    Good to see you are seeking support GJ. Can't say my addiction ever crossed into this kind of territory but we all had our own unique devils that is for sure...
     

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