constant 'checking'.

I keep checking stuff.I used to be a YouTuber who was fairly successful until I did nofap and realised its not for me.sure I was earning money but it was warping my tastes and putting unnecessary pressure on my being.

Fapping used to relieve stress of it all, anyway, I used to get a lot of emails, tweets, Facebook likes etc and of constantly check to see if I had more and more. I was a notification whore. It was a get rich quick scheme, I found an idea and knew it'd take off only to fail in popularity later..

I wanted to be that guy who was always having a buzzing phone, so much popularity and attention, I'd wantto make that point to my friends too. I wanted them to see how important i was - buzzing phone. That's one of the reasons I wanted an iphone, for those noises to be legit and constant..

I wanted hundred upon upon hundreds of likes for my videos, I was really hooked onto that rush. When I started nofap, those views and likes went down as I was feeling different. BUT I still found myself checking them constantly- those social media. EEventually the likes tweets emails stopped and rarely come but I would still check and imagine getting some.

This sucks! I find my time and my attention focussed on this stupid thing. I need help trying to get over this!! It's really not easy at all. I see you tubers and I think I could do that and get all those likes and rile myself up that way - it sucks!

Does anyone have any opinions on plans of action I can take? Nothing feels worthwhile anymore..

 

Good stuff man, i deleted my twitter - thats one down. Next if i can phase out Youtube id be good. I just posted something on facebook thats attracting attention and I felt like a god lol. Its not sustainable. Its nice to do it now and then I guess. I may decide to upload a random video now and then to keep myself satisfied until I can build a life where thats no longer necessary.