Curing a long hated habit...

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Consencus, Sep 5, 2019.

  1. Consencus

    Consencus Fapstronaut

    Hey there! I have a lot to say about myself I needed a place to vent and gain some support.

    I'm currently 18 years old and going into my first year of college. My first experience with masturbating and watching porn was when I was just 14 years old. I was a little kid and had no idea how bad this shit was going to do to me in the future. I've been masturbating to porn for a good 3/4 years now and all I can say is I TOTALLY regret it.

    8 months ago I was talking to a girl and she was a sexually active girl like a reaaaal freak. She kept on talking to me about linking up and doing stuff and heck I was down for it because at 17 I was still a virgin and wanted to gain some experience. We ended up linking and making out in the back of my car until she started touching my groin and asking If I wanted a blowjob. Heck I was like why not... I pulled my pants down and there it was, my penis was as soft and small as a peanut. At that moment I was so embarrassed I was even telling myself why am I not getting hard? Whats wrong with me?? I told her this is not normal as I'm always hard when masturbating... She said it was fine and continued to give me head but I had to finish myself off by jacking myself off. I was embarrassed. I came home and thought that it had something to do with my excessive use of watching porn and masturbating but heck I thought it was all bullshit and went back to it and never linked that girl again.

    A year later, so this is in the present day now. I met this wonderful girl at my job. I invited her over to my party and she came but things took a turn when we ended up making out in a closet. What I realized was both of us were drunk but I was not in any means getting an erection. I thought what the heck I'm drunk. A week later we had a job party and I was sleeping over there and so was the girl. We ended up getting drunk but not too drunk we went into a bedroom and starting making out. She had a condom with her and asked if I ever done it before... I said nah but I really want to. I was so turned on I wanted to do everything to her but as soon as I took off my underwear I was still soft as a peanut, not hard, no erection, nothing even though I was turned on. I tried putting on a condom on by jerking myself off but every time it would go back to it's flaccid form. I was embarrassed and done. I told her I was too drunk to have sex rn and she being an amazing girl totally understood. We tried to have sex the morning after (we fell asleep together) but I couldn't. My penis would still not get hard even though I was turned on. I could've believe it. I was broken. She told me I was still hungover and I believed her but I knew the truth. However during this time I have gone a week without masturbation so it confused the heck out of me.

    My Porn Addiction was taking a toll on me and I could only get hard by jacking myself off to porn. I couldn't believe it. I am now joining this community to help cure this problem. I need to reboot my brain! I quit watching porn and its been a good 2 days now but its a start. I hope to never come across this problem again in my life as it was embarrassing and broke me. I am a young guy, I love working out (been working out for 4 years) pretty buff and athletic. I hope this nofap rebooting journey will help me out in curing this embarrassing habit. Thank you and much love!
  2. rafael33

    rafael33 Fapstronaut

    Welcome to the Nofap community.
    The NO PMO journey is not easy but worth the effort.
    The community will support you.
    Maybe you want to make some commitment - not to the community but to yourself.
  3. JohnJGill720

    JohnJGill720 Fapstronaut

    Yeah, welcome to Nofap!
    I can relate. I was with a woman once in my early sexual experiences who had me totally turned on. She brought out a condom and as soon as I put it on, I went limp. She was like "Don't be nervous." But there was nothing I could do about it. Eventually I got used to wearing a condom but the first couple of times it was if my body was rejecting the feeling of it as if wrapping my dick in rubber was a weird fetish that I just couldn't get into.
  4. Hello and welcome! :)

    We are glad to have you as a part of our community. Here are some quick links to get you started.

    Getting Started Guide | How to Use the NoFap Forums | Panic Button |Day Counter| Rebooting Resources|Forum Rules |Glossary

    If you wish to keep a journal of your progress you can do so in the appropriate section found here

    You can also take part in one of the many challenges available. It can be a tremendous help. Challenges

    Also, there are groups you can also join if you wish to do so. You can browse through them here. Groups

    There are plenty of wonderful, friendly and knowledgeable people here to help you along on your journey to a life free of PMO. I wish you nothing but the best!
    rafael33 likes this.
  5. Heyyy welcome to the NoFap forum : ) It's nice to see you here fighting the good fight alongside us!

    Here is just some advice:

    First and foremost please take a look at each section in the forum, there might be something(s) you may find of big help to you. Feel free to post there :+)

    Then secondly I just strongly advise you to be active on your profile(as there quite a few active people in the profile section). Please start by choosing an avatar and then make daily status posts to show you're active and needing support/encouragement. They've also got a neat little feature that shows freshly posted statuses for all users to see. People will find your profile and give you encouragement/support.

    People (are beginning to) love communicating in the profilesection..(it should be and is )mostly spportive talk but it doesn't hurt to deviate from supportive talk. It would be great to have you join in and support others in the threads, profiles, and journal, we could always use your help and in return you shall receive some as well!

    Thirdly, You should also highly consider creating a public journal and write about your days in more depth for us members to follow along your journey and offer support to you by way of posting in your journal.

    Last but not least: Good luck on your journey here, make sure to really give it a try with all your heart!
    rafael33 and Consencus like this.

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