Hello everyone, I'm 21 years of age, and I want to share a little story with you all because I'm so frustrated right now. As a child growing up I always liked girls, had on crushes on them the whole nine. I've kissed them and enjoyed it. But growing up I've also done some weird things that to this day I regret so much. It started when I was at a cousins one time and we where in his room hanging out, and all of a sudden he started humping me, I didn't know what going on because i'm a kid I don't know that what i'm doing at the time Is wrong, and it felt so weird but I didn't think to tell him to stop. There was also a time where this boy started kissing me , and again I didn't stop him because at that time I didn't know what gay was. I thought we were just being ourselves I guess. As a got a little older I would say around 9-12. I started doing weird things like humping my cousins and kissing them but it didn't feel good it wasn't terrible either, but like I wasn't aroused by it. I was just doing it too do it. And then I felt like I got so used to doing those things that I just started doing it for fun, which I don't know why. As I got much older now I stopped that habit and mean while when i did those things I never masturbated to gay porn or masturbated to another mans picture. I saw men and thought they were good looking but I never really had a crush on them or wanted to have sex with them. It's just like my mind keeps reminding me about my past, and also I 've never dreamt of me having sex with a guy. it's always women. I don't know if my mind if playing treats on me. Now keep having this thoughts that I'm gay or want to have sex with men I don't know what's going on but it's really disturbing. I also have never experience sexual intercourse with a women yet.