Cyclical Phases of Rebooting (in and out of periods of ED)

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by r_ryan85, Jan 26, 2018.

  1. r_ryan85

    r_ryan85 Fapstronaut

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    Hi all,

    My background:

    - 32 years old
    - watching porn 5 times a week for 30 mins a time for 15 years
    - whilst watching porn I could get 100% hard with real women so I didn't have PIED
    - quit porn 6 months ago (no relapses and never will)
    - although I didn't have PIED, 1.5 weeks after quitting porn I went into a flatline and erections were terrible, couldn't have sex for 3.5 months after quitting porn
    - if I didn't have PIED, why quit porn? because sometimes I masturbated recently so I couldn't have sex with my gf and I felt like I was letting her down
    - masturbated in this period of 6 months, but not often (felt like I needed a release sometimes and gf does not live with me yet)
    - masturbation has drastically reduced the longer I have got into my reboot, and now it's very rare I do it - just don't feel like it
    - have had a gf throughout this entire reboot period, with sex every 2 - 3 weeks
    - sometimes sex was terrible lasting only 1 minute with penis not very hard, other times 100% erection and was amazing and had to stop because of getting sore
    - morning wood comes and goes, it's mostly absent than present, but sometimes it's there a few times a week and 100% (even painful sometimes)
    - I have tried pills just 2 or 3 times to see if it would work, and they do, but I don't want to go down that path (also have had amazing sex without them - but not often yet)

    Issue is this, sometimes I almost come out of a flatline (i.e. 100% erections or very close to it), but other times I can barely get it up and it doesn't last long at all.

    Has anybody else noticed this up and down pattern of a reboot? I think it's harder to deal with because of the uncertainty. Uncertainty is something humans hate naturally.

    In fact, a lot of people in studies choose a certain negative fate over a fate that could be uncertain - i.e. it might work out negative OR positive.
     
  2. r_ryan85

    r_ryan85 Fapstronaut

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    Also, a few more observations to add:

    - orgasms are mostly terrible (i.e. not much pleasure / feeling to them)
    - if I take yellow pill, it brings back the ability to feel orgasms (but I'm not taking pills any more, just wanted to try them a few times as I don't want a band-aid solution)
    - libido is also up and down (i.e. urge to have sex)
    - I have also noticed that my urge to have sex is not always related to my erection quality

    Lastly, after having sex 3 times last night, it was far harder on the last attempt (100% rock hard). How odd?
    Also, first attempt last night was only 1 minute, 2nd attempt made my gf cum 3 times. Sex was perfect.

    Anyway, I will continue the path of no porn.
     

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