Dated but Never Been in Love...

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by DuckofDeath, Jul 31, 2020.

  1. DuckofDeath

    DuckofDeath Fapstronaut

    Hey guys, I wasn't sure which forum this belonged in, since it's a dating theme, but I'm in my early 30s so I thought maybe it should go there. I don't know.

    I just hit the 60 day mark, and between days 60 and 90 I want to try to start dating again. Although I feel like I've hit my stride in life and that I'm doing better than ever before, as I prepare to go back on the market I'm deeling with a persistent negative voice in my head:

    I've never been in love. I've had a handful of relationships that lasted between 2 weeks and 4 months, with a few hookups sprinkled in. But I've never been close to falling in love and I've never had a relationship that was really emotionally close or deep. It's not a good feeling to be dating someone and to always have this sense that I'm expendible, that sense that it obviously won't last.

    I guess in every case I felt like there wasn't a real connection. I was just something to keep these girls busy. I guess this was just my own lack of value back then, or my own problems. Or maybe I was purusing the wrong women. It's just that all the women I pursued who I really, really liked always shot me down. So I guess I've always dated what I could 'get', even for a short while.

    I know this negativity only makes me more unattractive, but it isn't easy to shake these difficult insecurities. A part of me wonders if I'll never fall in love. I have college degrees, a career I love, many good friends, hobbies and passions. I am fit and although I have acne scars I also know I am handsome. Most importantly, I am a good person; I'm not a 'nice guy'. I am decent and compassionate. I have integrity. This all makes me a solid match, but I can't shake the feeling that I'll never find a woman to pair with long term.

    Maybe if I keep having bad luck I'll just focus on my career, my friends/social circle, and doing my best to make the world a better place. I really love working with refugee groups living America for example.

    Is anyone else out there dealing with similar feelings, or better yet, has anyone else overcome these feelings?
  2. Empleh

    Empleh Fapstronaut

    I say go out to grocery stores or other places open in this quarantine and chat up these females. I don't know you at all and if very wrong my bad, but take a risk and commit to a girl if she seems like the right one!!!
    DuckofDeath likes this.
  3. p1n1983

    p1n1983 Fapstronaut

    There's no way you are going to fall in love with a girl if you date girls like this.
    Man only initiate contact with woman, after a few weeks woman start to pursue the man. So.. if you always pursue eventually you are going to get rejected.
    Totally, confidence is the second best attribute a man have besides looks.
    Yes they are, but you don't feel like a catch really. Your selfsteeam is really low and is a turn down for woman. You need to work on it.
    Is no bad luck, that is losers excuse. Winners always look what they can do different to succeed.
    This is the right mentality. Just work on your confidence and dating skill to have more "luck" with woman, that's all!
    DuckofDeath likes this.

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