Day 3, and already lost.

That is how we all feel early on. The withdrawal is very real, and the mental anguish can be excruciating.

What I did in those early days of recovery was to commit to taking no action whatsoever when the urge came over me. When I would get hungry to hunt-and-seek some unsavory material online, instead of going to my keyboard and starting the terrible ritual, I would sit on the couch or in a chair and do nothing. I would not move from that spot until the urge passed. I would pray sometimes, but mostly I just sat there. Jesus knew my prayer ("HELP ME!!!!") without me needing to say a word.

PMO is *always* a choice. No one and nothing can force you to watch P or to MO. And with Christ's help and in his strength, we *can* choose differently.

The battle always begins in the mind, so that is where we must fight and win it. The FREEdom process is the biblical instruction on how we "renew our minds" (Romans 12:2). I highly recommend it!
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1zqVL11JjWICOHCRUDmqXr9TNC_gpb6yhRF1hKp-fxcc/edit

And we cannot do this alone, so I am glad you reached out here. If you do not have any APs, I strongly encourage you to get some. We need one-on-one support in this, in-person if at all possible. After six years of working on my recovery, 1.5 years of no P and no MO, and 280 days of no P-subs or unhelpful sexual thinking of any kind, I still check in with my AP network every single day.

Give it all you've got! That will not be enough, but you must commit yourself fully to the process or you will not have success. When you get to the end of yourself, Jesus will be waiting to meet you there and lend you his strength. John 15:5 - "I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing."

Onward!

 

We are in this fight together!

 

Interesting. I prefer to occupy myself after temporarily pausing to address the urge.

Yeah pmo is most often a choice, unless you are on complete autopilot, if I am interpreting your words correctly.

 

If you are on complete autopilot, that is also a choice you made at some point. Once you become aware of the condition, you can act to correct it.