On day 34 been doing pretty well. But iv been doing just regular mode because I have a gf. The thing is she is not as sexually active as I am. So it's killing me I get all vamped up and then mothing. Then all I want to do is to go relive my self and this is like a daily thing. I feel like I should have just started with hard mode instead of normal mode.
This is my opinion, I don't know if it'll help or not: I think with ditching PMO - when we're in relationships - we're not sidelining or dumping our sexual energy out of our relationship, instead it's kept between who we're with. I think it's a recipe for success. I wouldn't think now would be a good time to question the relationship at all - there's so much change going on when we're not PMO'ing - and with a girlfriend - I would think - it's essentially rebooting - while having sex - maybe for your case - rebooting your sexual energy into your girlfriend. So I think it's natural for it to be an uncomfortable adjustment. And it's a good thing! She's not going to want to have sex, you are. Even with all that - it's a re-balance of energy that's going on, being frustrated is even part of it - with her even. Of course - that probably won't help ultimately as an ongoing thing - but subconsciously I'd say the frustration is you letting her know - having more sex is important to me in this relationship that involves both of us. And I think - both your energies will balance out with all that naturally after awhile - and I think you'll both be happier - totally as you both get in tune with each other in that way. I think maybe part of the uncomfortableness on your end (or mine if I was in your shoes) isn't so much getting her to put out more - but it's relearning/or learning on a deeper level - an energy level - on the best way to put her in the mood/turn her on where she wants too, and how to do that. I don't think it's an intellectual thing - it's a sexual energy thing that's gotta work itself out - the uncomfortableness is part of it, not getting laid when you want to or as much, etc. I think, ultimately - if you stick with it - it'll be well worth it in the long run - with the very problems you're describing. P is a pretty new thing in human history - I think it's very likely that men and women are totally evolved - or it's at least very possible - for both people to be happy, including guys in the sexual department in relationships without Porn, and maybe even MO at all. I actually think it's a recipe for even more happiness. Talking about all this energy stuff - sounds pretty new-agy or something. It's not really where I'm coming from with it all. If you're looking for an excuse to still have hope and keep trucking - not PMOing - hope it helps!
Also I might add, dumping your seed elsewhere instead of keeping it towards he might have the exact effect you're frustrated with even more. Get rid of your good sexual energy - and on an instintual level - it might just cause her to be less interested. With your frustration - I'm sure there's a natural limit though. If she just stopped having sex with you - chances are, in a porn free world - a guy going through that would decide to stray at a certain point. And I think our instincts are a lot more powerful and deep rooted than technology or words. So when it gets to that point, if it needs too - that's kind of playing with fire - if she likes you (which she would, you're respecting her boundaries up to leaving - why wouldn't she find that irresistible?) she's gonna pounce on you because she instinctively wouldn't want you to go. Everything else is just fun and the weird and wild dynamics in between. If it's a good relationship between both of you - it'll all work itself out. You'll both be happier. Like I said, just my opinion - off the cuff. Good luck!
I have had the exact same experience as you OP. I think generally my GF has a lower sex drive than me, and when I haven't PMO-ed for 5 to 10 days I become like a dog on heat humping her leg until I get attention from her; of course, this isn't arousing or relaxing or sexy for either of us so sex or a sexual situation never arises from this and I get even more frustrated. Something I've been trying to get my head around is the reason *why* I'm committing to NoFap. Without even fully realsing, I used to use my GF as a sexual release for my built up desire as a result of PMO - in other words, just treating her as a way to orgasm so that I can unwind from the pressure of no PMO. I don't know if you relate to this Gsmith, but if you do in anyway, you need to rethink now --- it is the totally wrong mindset to have. You cannot view your GF as a kind of "hack" or "boost" that makes quitting PMO easier. Instead, you need to figure out that the only real reason for quitting PMO is for your own self-worth and self-belief. In other words, feel good about yourself *first* - your sexuality, your body image, your confidence in the bedroom, etc. - because of the longterm benefits of NoFap, and then you will notice a huge difference in the way your GF and your sexual relationship with her can guide you through the NoFap journey. When you quit PMO for your own self-worth you will realise that sex between you and your GF becomes a mutually loving and intimate experience that fulfils both you, instead of you just busting a nut and leaving your GF cold. Anyway, that's just my two cents - hope it helps!
Thanks for the advice sandwich and bizot. It always helps when I know other ppl are or have wnt through this stage or somthing like it. Helps to let me know I'm not the only one with problems.
You're welcome. It's been suggested and I think helps to try to encourage others with staying away from PMO - and I need all the help I can get, so it's not truly selfless or anything. I'm glad it helped though, we're making it! Thanks Cheers to you and your girlfriend. <3
