Day 62 , wet dreams and thinking about giving up

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by ControlV, Jan 2, 2018.

  1. NF4L

    NF4L Fapstronaut

    That’s the spirit. Let your mind and the best version of you win out. I am proud of you, and appreciate your commitment to improving yourself. It certainly gives me encouragement to know I can help another Fapstronaut. Here’s to infinity and beyond!
     
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  2. ControlV

    ControlV Fapstronaut

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    No I never opened any porn site. I did opened few escort sites to see if I can pay for something I like. But did'nt find any and decided to save the money.

    @NF4L - Thanks man. Cheers to infinity and beyond! Let's be the best version of ourself.
     
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  3. sakeen

    sakeen Fapstronaut

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    I think you gotto ask yourself a few questions:

    1) Are you peeking (i.e. glancing at porn +/- masturbating/touching yourself)?
    2) Are you using porn substitutes (Instagram girls, escort ads, dating sites in sexual way)?
    3) Are you dopamine-bingeing (video games, YouTube videos back-to-back etc.)?
    4) Are you fantasizing?
    5) Are you using escorts during your reboot?

    Any one of those will set you back significantly. With abstinence you will have to make an active effort to envision a different lifestyle to your previous one. Porn has a very powerful gravitational/magnetic pull and a lot of how your life is structured has been influenced by it (e.g. you never developed any hobbies/passions because porn was always readily available, or you went to bed late every day because you could rely on porn to relieve stress and make you sleepy when you needed it).

    You will have to reconfigure your life and your mind to stop relying on huge hits of dopamine all the time, and instead go for a steady gentle stream of it from useful, productive activities and of course new hobbies (and sports!).

    Escorts are the worst thing you could possibly do (in life generally, in rebooting especially). I can't emphasize how damaging it is to your sense of self to have sex with a woman who will never care of your and is only selling her flesh to you. It will desensitize you to real relationships with real women, with all the beauty and subtlety that that has. Be very careful my friend because you may be setting yourself up for misery.
     
  4. sakeen

    sakeen Fapstronaut

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    Visiting escort ads/sites is porn. In my books this would be considered a relapse and it may explain your lack of progress.
     
  5. ControlV

    ControlV Fapstronaut

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    @sakeen - Thanks. Will stay away from all of it atleast till my 100 days.
    I have noticed I get mild brain fog when I use fb , insta or youtube.
    I'm trying to reduce all even though I just skim through normal content and not psubs in particular.
    I was looking at escort sites because I did'nt want to masturbate.
    Anyway I'm in a much stronger mentality now and will try to avoid all sorts of such stuff till I feel I have completely rebooted .
     
  6. Hey man, I've sort of been where you have. In the 60s in my streak and getting a ton of wet dreams. There are ways to stop wet dreams,physical exercises and stuff. You can find them here if you look. I'm short on time,otherwise I might've posted them myself.

    In the area concerning trying to fap once a week etc. it seems like your brain is rationalizing. It means you're in the middle part of recovery,where your brain is like a pendulum going back and forth in between old and new ways.

    I used to have a lot of wet dreams and I did all those exercises above but what helped me the most was not thinking about sex or fantasising about it in my head. Not fixating on a girl's hotness. All that reduced my wet dreams to zero.
    By not craving it in my head,not getting my mind and body all hot and aroused all through the day,helped it remain that way at night. Mostly wet dreams are triggered by erotic dreams or sensation and doing this will help stop that definitely . Our brain activates the same neural circuits when thinking about porn as when actually watching porn.

    I know it seems like a silly piece of advice but it works wonders in the wet dreams department. Done right,it will straight up stop them.

    Others have given good advice too,take that into consideration as well.
     
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  7. NF4L

    NF4L Fapstronaut

    Good advice from experience. I would say as part of my recovery efforts had been to be conscious of scanning and mindful of sexualizing women. My addict riddled brain would always start this, and I would instead focus on their merits as a whole person, or find some flaws, rather than turning them into some sex object. This may explain my lack of consistent wet dreams.
     

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