Did I just Relapsed?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by mr7, Jan 19, 2016.

  1. mr7

    mr7 Fapstronaut

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    Hey Guys,
    I am mr7, 25, from Bangladesh. I was just on my standard reboot of 90 days, but my true goal was to reboot my brain to its natural state. My goal was to No Porn, No Masturbation; but orgasms are ok. Now I am on my 11th day.

    I have not watched porn, I have not touched myself. last night I was so much aroused that was imagining some scenes from a porn clip and I hugged and kissed in a pillow and was rubbing the penis in the bed suddenly I came out. I just came in my pants!

    Now my question is was that a relapse? Again I need to remind you that I was not doing Hardmode. But I really am not sure whether what I did can be considered masturbation or not.

    Note that, as my real goal is to return my brain into its natural state so If what I did is a setback towards my goal then it will be a relapse....!
     
  2. DannyCool

    DannyCool Fapstronaut

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    I am struggling with the same thing at the moment. Half waking up at night and not being able to stop myself. The main thing was that you did not watch porn. Try sleeping on your side. This will help. Why have you not given up orgasm just out of interest?
     
  3. mr7

    mr7 Fapstronaut

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    yes... I mean I am interested in Orgasms I they happen. And I guess Nofap is also about getting into real Orgasms by quitting fake ones..
     
  4. IGY

    IGY Guest

    Well done for not watching porn. However, you imagined it and what you did was masturbate. It is called prone masturbation (because you are stimulating yourself face-down). I think about 10% boys and men masturbate this way. Sadly, you must reset. Try and use self-control about what you think of. sexual fantasies will harm your progress.
     
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  5. mr7

    mr7 Fapstronaut

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    thanks a lot IGY... Now I am reseting...
     
  6. DannyCool

    DannyCool Fapstronaut

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    If you are looking for an orgasm it will hamper your progress significantly but as IGY says you have not looked at porn so you are doing well. The addiction to looking for an getting an orgasm seems like a big thing to give up but when you do it, it doesn't really matter as the benefits really outweigh that 6 seconds of pleasure and a lot a lot of craving.
     
    mr7 likes this.
  7. mr7

    mr7 Fapstronaut

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    thanks DannyCool.. yes... I am interested in Orgasms If they happen. And I think Nofap is also about getting into natural Orgasms by quitting unnatural ones..

    I would like to suggest you to do one thing - keep telling yourself that "it IS the ULTIMATE enemy" referring to your urges torwards relapsing. doing this worked for me.. hope it helps you too...
     
  8. DannyCool

    DannyCool Fapstronaut

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    Thanks Man. That is really cool. It struck a cord with me. :)
     
  9. bearbones

    bearbones Fapstronaut

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    Great question, @mr7 ... and great job on 11 days porn free! Just keep moving forward towards your goal, learn something from each day, and allow this experience to shape you, staying open to the changes that come about as a result of abstaining from PMO.

    I think your vivid mental imagery is just one of the effects of exposing yourself to porn and using it with great frequency. Our minds are like a garden, and many of us have planted seeds of pornographic scenes and images, self-gratification, and fantasy. I have found that as those seeds take root and grow, they tend to choke out the fruits of healthy relationships, intimacy with other human beings, and emotional stability and well-being. We can choose to plant whatever we want, but must realize that we must someday harvest what we sow
     
  10. JoeinMD

    JoeinMD Fapstronaut

    This was a relapse. You fully indulged in continued imagined porn and masturbated by rubbing your penis against on the mattress or whatever (a hand isn't required to masturbate)...you were enacting full-blown fake dopamine-blown sex.
     
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