This has been on my mind and may contribute a different perspective to facing the addiction. Please read through it all and try to follow my train of thought. I have been wondering - what if porn actually saved our lives when we started watching it? Let me explain - When growing up , most of us didn't have the proper emotional support nor tools in order to work with whatever we have been experiencing - the difficulties, traumas, abandonments, rejections. We went to porn , and porn medicated us and made us forget the problems we had, just as an anesthesia. Its been occuring to me that maybe we weren't ready to face our issues back then. I think that if we didn't have that escape (or other escapes even) some of us would have decided to end our lives , as them being too overwhelming , and as we not knowing how to process all of it. Perhaps, just perhaps.. porn helped us stay alive or even sane at the time. Let me make it very clear, I am NOT saying go back and do it. I am simply giving a new perspective towards it so that we can have a healthy break up with porn, as now we are older and may be more prepared to face our issues. More than when we were children. Just like that machine in the hospital that provides oxygen to a patient so that he doesnt die, porn may has been the same for us. I believe that most of us are ready to breathe on our own now, otherwise we wouldn't be here.
Porn is like alcohol. You think you're "medicated" because of how it takes your mind off the problem but it actually screws up your body to a greater extent. I'd never at any point consider it a savior even during dark times. Simply because there are so many other means to face our issues. It's doing way more bad than any good.
The phrase "Porn saved my life" is as agreeable as "alcoholism saved my life". The damage of addiction always far outweighs the benefit. It is like numbing an exacerbating wound so that you don't feel anything while the infection grows. Porn only buried the problems under the carpet to later hit us with greater force. It solved nothing.
Porn has been preventing me from actually living my life for years. It's reinforced all the negative feelings i had towards myself and brought me closer than ever to want to kill myself. This post is one of the stupidest things I've read Here. Porn never saved anything, it's destroyed me to a point where i doubt i'll ever be able to recover from it.
Agreed, this post is foolishness. First off, not everybody requires a coping mechanism to begin with nor problems to get away from, so this wouldn't apply to those that didn't have such things. Even if a person did require an escape, there's far better and healthier options that exist. The scenario presented in the OP's post suggests a very specific kind of individual and a very unlikely scenario based in mostly speculation and that the choice was getting kicked in the teeth (suicide) or getting kicked in the balls (porn). Personally, I'd rather have neither. You, @crottedepingouin, also point out another problem with the logic. Why would porn prevent or treat depression when numerous people have reported having it until they abstained? As far as I'm aware, it only numbs it. Back to the OP's post, you also cannot compare a mechanical ventilation machine to porn since one is designed to keep you alive. The other is not.
You think pornographers are saving children's lives? A great public service? I think you are delusional. Even if it's true in rare cases, I'll bet they cause a great many more suicides.
To be honest, though, us becoming addicts is not porn's fault. It's OUR fault. So, in my opinion, this should not become a war against porn. If everything you do is directing anger at the porn industry and holding it responsible for ruining your life, then you're STILL being dishonest with yourself and not solving your own problems. In my opinion, the whole point of this is ironing out YOUR weaknesses, and STANDING UP to them and becoming a better and stronger person. Addiction is a weakness, and playing victim is not a solution (that's why we become addicts in the firs place). Taking action against our faults is. I also don't think porn saved our lives. Confronting our emotions and fears would have been fare more productive. There are also people who have none of these problems, and use porn for the occasional sexual titillation and have no resulting problems from that whatsoever. No addiction. No negative effects. Nothing. They don't get mentally involved with it or mentally dependant on it. NOTHING. Porn didn't ruin us. We did so ourselves by using porn. Food for thought.
Thank you for the comments. This post was purely for discussion. Getting past 90 days I am starting to look at porn from further away. I personally think it's not so healthy to be resentful towards anything or anyone. There comes a stage of forgiveness and understanding, a mature point of view. Yes, porn ruined our lives, but only because we didn't reach the place where we can see the gifts of overcoming it. The same as people with the toughest obstacles in life reach the highest places. This post wasnt designed to hurt anyone, but to raise certain awareness
I like what you say about taking responsibility for improving ourselves. I agree that's very important. But it doesn't make sense to me to write off addiction as the addict's own fault, end of story. If I gave your child addictive substances, and he became an addict, are you going to say it's his fault, or are you going to go to war with me? That's what's happening to millions of children. The damage is done for many of us, but we aren't just concerned about ourselves. Some of us strongly oppose porn because we want to protect children.
No no no...no. Youre thinking of this backwards. Eliminating stress or other problems you have from fapping contributes more to the problem at hand. Not only did you not solve your issue, you have another issue, and that's porn addiction. It's like telling someone who has chronic pain to take oxycontin. Sure it helps, but it will screw up your mind in the long run.
I could not disagree more. This is and old and (forgive me the bluntness) ignorant idea of what addiction is all about. Addicts are not "weak" by nature. That is like saying that not being some sort of superman that can stand all the pain and distress that life inflicts upon so many of us is being "weak". Saying that addicts become addicts because they are "playing victim" is the most nonsensical thing I've ever heard about addition and couldn't be farther from the truth.
This is all foolishness too. Most people who get into porn do not realize that they are hurting themselves, especially those who get into it at a young age. Lacking knowledge that isn't common place in the first place in a time of your life where seeking said knowledge wasn't the highest priority you had doesn't make becoming addicted to porn anyone's fault. We didn't choose to become addicted because we didn't know we could until it was too late. I'll concur that we are responsible for becoming a better person, but to outright say that it is our own fault for getting into something we didn't know was possible is silly.
So alcohol is responsible for alcoholists, despite billions of people drinking casually without being addicts? And I didn't say anyone became an addict because he/she was playing victim. I said that playing victim will not help anyone of us. We became addicts because of our own personal demons. Not because we casually watched porn and IT made us become addicts. It contributed. But much of it is up to us. If we want recover it makes no sense to keep crying "porn destroyed our lives". WE destroyed our lives. With porn.
So I didn't destroy your young son's life, he destroyed his own life when I sold him the drugs? I think I understand that you are sharing a perspective intended to motivate and empower addicts to take responsibility for their own recovery. But can you understand my perspective of also opposing the porn industry, and holding them accountable for causing suffering, since we know that people are weak and that countless numbers will continue to suffer for the profits of pornographers?
It may have. We do our best to survive and for some of us, porn was our survival mechanism. Also, you could say it protected some of us from STDs. Still, it isn't healthy o mental because it can lead to mental problems later on in life. Medical advice from health experts when dealing with stress and trauma isn't to turn to drugs, alcohol or sex because it can to greater problems.
Again, not true. I never had "personal demons". I just used to like watching porn. This "we" stuff doesn't consider other perspectives, only yours. You had demons. You can't say the same for the rest of us just because we too got addicted. Yes, part of it is our own fault. But I completely disagree that it is all our fault.
Porn is not cocaine. It doesn't make you automatically phisically addicted by just using it once in a while, otherwise EVERYONE who ever watched porn would be in our position. And that is NOT case. BUT - I would think of measures to make sure only adults can access porn websites.