Dissappointed with myself

The shame, guilt and disappointment is like someone dropping a 1000 lb weight on your body. We've all been there. But now you are back.

 

It's a sign of your strength that you've come back.

I know what it's like - you feel wretched - but make a new commitment to start and you'll be back to 18 days in no time. Then you can start setting new records, as remexplore says.

 

Shame and guilt are part of the roots of the PMO addiction.

We are ashamed of our own emotions, we feel "guilty" to have emotions, we think like we are "not allowed" to have a pleasant life, so finally, we hide our emotions and we live them in a hideaway, by fapping, going to prostitutes, secret affairs, etc.

 

It's good that you feel bad, so you avoid making the same mistake again in the future.

Just be disciplined and determined to really learn the lesson and never do it again.

It's probably a change of habits. You did it because you were in an environment that made it easy for you to do it. For instance, next time you want to look at porn come here and write your anxiousness away.

 

I respectfully disagree with the use of shame and guilt as a motivator. They are what the Buddha called the "second arrow". As if the first arrow of your failure wasn't bad enough, we get conditioned to stab ourselves again. Over and over. This gets us nowhere but lower. To move toward the middle, we need to let go and continue with our resolve.

 

Hey RedDeer
I have found that finding comfort and happiness is being somewhere in the middle. You mentioned the roller coaster, the one that is so common and easy to find ourselves stuck on, wanting to get off.
The highs in life can be as disruptive as the lows. Thinking in terms of happiness and unhappiness leads to comparing one's life with someone else's. Then we are not who we truly are. We are that which is in comparison to this or that.
Meditation is a great tool for all of us who are struggling with addiction. Addiction is usually a reaction to pain or avoidance. Meditation teaches one to meet things as they are. A warning- it takes longer than 30-90 days, you will never arrive, you will always be moving towards, but that is what is so good about it.

 

I agree Dad. Shame and guilt are negative and destructive. How many of us have said to ourselves, "I've already blown it, I might as well do it again"? I personally think learning is a good approach. Don't over analyse, but just think what happened, why and what would have helped me to avoid it. In this way, you can always re-frame a negative outcome as an opportunity to be better prepared in future.