does it count?

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by FatPat90, Jan 1, 2018.

  1. FatPat90

    FatPat90 Fapstronaut

    22
    33
    13
    So I was doing great with my reboot. Like 21 days without porn or masturbation. I even told my fiancée about it and she's been very supportive. Then this happened. She's out of town visiting family and we were on Skype. Out of no where she takes off her clothes and says she wants to do stuff. At first I was like no this is gonna mess me up with my reboot but I just gave in. I reset my day counter cause I think it counts right?
     
  2. kropo82

    kropo82 Fapstronaut

    Tricky one. I would say it does not count, but we are all free to set the parameters of our own reboots. Mine is that I am not using porn and I am not masturbating. Sexual activity with my wife is fine in my reboot. I can see why you want to classify what you did as masturbation, it was, but it was with your fiancée following her lead. I would leave your counter and just smile about what a lucky guy you are, she sounds a keeper!

    On a side note your posts here are sporadic. Are you managing to stay clear of pornography without spending time here reading and journaling?
     
    samnf1990 likes this.
  3. The Wrestler

    The Wrestler Fapstronaut

    704
    678
    93
    Are you looking for absolution or an excuse?

    The rule I've adopted from a pastor, actually, is this: ask yourself, "is this pulling me into a stronger and closer relationship with God and others, or not? Is this building relationship or destroying it?"
    What do you think of that?
     
    kropo82 likes this.
  4. samnf1990

    samnf1990 Fapstronaut

    401
    667
    93
    I am not religious but I ask a similar question: is it bringing me closer to my wife and causing us to be both happier and more fulfilled? If not, I don't do it, if so then I go for it. Nofap should not cause more distance between the two of you, but rather bring you closer together.
     
  5. FatPat90

    FatPat90 Fapstronaut

    22
    33
    13
    Thanks yall for your view points! Reflecting on it niw, I've decided that it was actually a good thing and I should just enjoy it for what it is.
     
    The Wrestler likes this.
  6. FatPat90

    FatPat90 Fapstronaut

    22
    33
    13
    Good point. I am going to try more to get on here regularly and comment and invest more in this online community because it's already been a big help
     
    kropo82 likes this.
  7. Rob_B_

    Rob_B_ Fapstronaut

    I'd say... it depends (my stock answer, pretty much, because everything is relative!). If your objective is to stop using porn, but to continue doing anything and everything that involves your fiancée, then I'd say the episode you describe is probably fine, especially as she initiated it (not that you were imposing your will on her, in which case one might question your motives - were you just after some Psub?). On the other hand, if - as your day counter suggests - you want to avoid MO, then depending on what exactly you did after you 'gave in', you may have breached the parameters. (And in that case, I also would like to know why exactly did she knowingly lead you down that path?)

    In my situation, that wouldn't constitute a relapse, but you'll need to be own judge.
     

Share This Page