Does NOFAP cures Femdom Fetish?

I'd like to say NoFap can cure fetishes and femdom but I'm not entirely sure. I've been watching femdom/fetish porn for around 12 years. I stoped watching porn back in december and relized that if i stay away from porn then the urges start to fade. "Normal" sex became more appealing and i didn't think about femdom/fetishes during sex. Just stay strong. Urges come and go but if you give in to your addictions you will feel regret or shame. Its not easy but very possible.

 

If you think femdom fetish is bad, be glad you don't have sissy fetish.

I don't know why people get these fetishes but they have everything to do with novelty seeking, an escalation thereof, lust and perversion.

It's important to understand that just because you have a fetish, it doesn't mean that's what you really want or who you really are. They're nothing more than a primitive desire, a fantasy, one that by no means defines who you truly are.

People will always be capable of having these fetishes but to overcome them it's important that you stay away from porn.

It's porn that instills this sense of shame in your heart. Within you there's wisdom and light that makes you see right through the empty promises porn offers you. Does that make sense? Because no matter how much porn you'd look at, it would never truly satisfy you.

Porn made us mistake pleasure for happiness. All it really has to offer are these problems, perversions and shameful properties that will lead to self-hatred and loathing sooner or later.

Can you see why God, the universe, Buddha, karma, or whichever you believe in, would be against things like drugs and pornography?

Self-control and respect for life are the only things that are capable of reuniting you with your higher self. You know the way out of the shame and guilt. Look within yourself, and you will soon realize that there is no place for pornography, drugs and other harmful addictions in your life.

Once you're on the road to freedom, you'll be amazed at how you've been neglecting the smaller, simple things in your life, the things that although small and taken for granted, are capable of filling you with true joy. The hug of a loved one, a flower in spring, a cheerful melody on the radio ...

We've tried to reach out to heaven where there is no light.

 

This is not always the case though. Some of us have had some of these fetishes since we were young children and didn't know what they were until we saw them on the screen many years later.

I don't think having these fetishes is bad in moderation. Hours spent fantasizing or M to femdom is not good, but some people do femdom/BDSM type play with their partners and enjoy it. I have had a femdom fetish since I was a kid, many years before I even knew there was such a thing as P. I think I will always have a femdom fetish, and I'm not sure there is anything I can do about that, but that doesn't mean I have to have a P addiction as well.

 

Interesting.
I also don't think any fetish is responsable of the P addiction, imo it's only an unchosen replacement. Still, it's part of the sexual addiction, which is kinda the same deal for any addict. I also grew up with a paraphilia addiction, and I really wonder how rebooting can cure this since I never was into "normal sex" at all.

 

This surely has to be different for different people.

For some people their fetish will be porn induced and will go away if they stay away from porn.

For others it'll get a lot better without going away completely.

For others it's not porn induced and is part of their real selves, not linked to porn. Some of those will be okay with that, others won't and will want to try to overcome the fetish and may succeed.

The only way to know which you are is to give up PMO.

That's the way I think about it anyway.

 

I felt I had to chip in here. My Femdom fetish also pre-dated porn exposure and can be traced back into my very early childhood. I'm now nearly 300 days 'clean' on NoFap. From my personal experience, NoFap hasn't 'cured' my fetish: I still find the associated thoughts, sights, fashions and fantasies exciting. When my wife so chooses, she can push my Femdom buttons and still get an instant response. What quitting PMO has done, is stop PA - Femdom-flavoured in my case - dominating my thoughts and actions to the detriment of many aspects of my life and in particular my marriage.

So quitting PMO hasn't 'cured me' but it has put my Femdom preferences into perspective as just one minor aspect of my character and made a little light domination one of the many things my wife and I can choose to do as part of a loving, sexual relationship.

ANH

 

That confirms my thoughts.
Thanks for sharing your experience!

 

Yea what @Eddy7 just said. Thanks @anewhope so much for that! I think for me I know I'll have some femdom interests in me for however long, and that's fine. I just wanna be able to flip the script too, in bed. I'd like to at least be able to enjoy the vanilla thing, and maybe a little "then some" because girls everywhere I look and listen, seem to dig being spanked n shit. I think by avoiding P, and I have felt this for sure, I find vanilla stuff great and pretty much just as hot as getting the femdom done to me. I'm not that deep into femdom where I got into strapons and golden showers and things of that nature, only light things like feet and power exchange . Actually I haven't looked at it in months after I had a revelation, and I made it a serious goal of mine to end it in my life. However when I did relapse with M'ing to pictures , I noticed my thoughts drifting towards that area of my mind as I M'd more frequently. So overall, it seems to me that P isn't the direct plugin for a femdom addiction, but avoiding P makes the fetish far less hostile to the mind, body and spirit. In other words, if I do some light femdom with my partner, that is totally cool. It's when I think it's okay to PMO to it occasionally, because then it can become way out of hand, and fucks up my head altogether. Then it penetrates you, and through P it feeds on your weakness to P.

Also hi I'm new here I'm tryna shake femdom addiction and porn addiction myself. I'm 19 and just wanna maximize my mojo (maybe even Jim Morrison-level) and get laid finally

 

Whatever the case, if like you say your femdom fetish did indeed exist before porn use, pmo will only have made it much worse.

Can't fool others and yourself into thinking that the human mind is capable of producing fantasies that come close to what you see in porn (if you never saw porn).

In my opinion you can indeed have some type of fetish without looking at porn, but they will be far less obsessive or damaging.
Porn can and will lead to escalation of any fetish. I did not have sissy fetish before I started looking at porn. So porn can definitely lead to fetish through repeated use and escalation of accompanying sexual fantasies.

Sexual fantasy and porn go hand in hand. If you truly want to overcome or reduce the effects of a fetish you will have to stop fantasizing about sex. You can be clean for a long time and still be drawn to sexual fantasies that involve certain fetishes. These tendencies will probably never fully go away.

Fantasy and porn are just that. An unhealthy, perhaps even selfish escape from reality.

The point is, just because you have a fetish, definitely doesn't mean you'd act upon them in real life. I know I wouldn't do any of it. Even if you really did it, you'd probably be disgusted. Chances are you wouldn't be disgusted if the fetish is deeply rooted or if the addiction is really bad.

Porn and sexual fantasy will always portray other human beings as sex objects. In reality the majority of women aren't what porn or fantasy would have you believe.

Hope we can agree that fetish is an unhealthy escalation of sexual fantasy that involves mainly lust and novelty seeking. If your first sexual fantasy did involve some kind of fetish I honestly wouldn't know what to say.

 

Hey OP, just signed up for this forum and started nofap last Sunday myself, also 26 years old.

I don't see your FEMDOM fetish necessarily as a bad thing or a negative personal quality. Dude, don't hurt yourself because of something pretty normal! Everyone has their own fantasies and you are lucky that yours is nothing illegal or immoral (like for some people). Your fantasy is something that can be easily realised without porn and I would recommend for you to simply find a partner that will be up for that.

However, since you are a virgin I would perhaps recommend to get that out of the way first. I can tell you that I have very sick fantasies myself and I can still enjoy normal sex with a girl very much. Test it out first and don't worry too much. If you want to realise this fantasy I would recommend for you later on to try and find a sexual partner who is up for this kind of thing. From my experience, older women +30 years old are more likely up for this kind of stuff and may have the same fetish in reverse themself.

Good luck, stopping porn and masturbating is certainly the first step and way to go.

 

You definitely can. I know because I've had fetishes since before I ever used porn and well before the internet. You can have serious fetishes not caused by porn.

I totally agree that porn at least risks making fetishes worse and more damaging. It may cause them to change and escalate. Giving up porn stops that happening and I think is likely in time to mean porn induced changes will go away and you can return to what's "normal" for you.

If your "normal" includes one or fetishes then I don't think they're necessarily unchangeable. I think it's possible to leave a fetish behind if you want to, and I've done it myself with one fetish I have successfully left behind. The fact that porn can change our fetishes shows us they're plastic. If you never do the thing and try never to think about it, or somehow to replace the thoughts, in time you may get rid of it. But I think that's a separate thing from just giving up PMO.

 

Your fetish will 100% fade if you do these things:
1) Quit porn, quit masturbation.
2) Socialize more.
3) Try to be more dominant in social situations, don’t be afraid to speak out.

This fetish is just a fantasy, based on you starting masturbation very early, most likely masturbating when you felt down, because of your mother, teacher or any other woman. You created connection between woman -> feeling down -> sexual pleasure. YOU WERE NOT BORN THIS WAY.
As long as you starve yourself from any kind of sexual pleasure long enough, as long as you change your character, your brain will stop associating those things.
I also had that fetish, than I escalated to sissy porn, then I escalated to gay porn. I was even confused that I was gay bottom, and that’s my sexual orientation. Now I feel disgusted by my previous porn fetishes. I started masturbating when I was 2,5 years old. Started watching porn when I was 10.

 

I agree with this. I know the nature of fetishes is generally not well understood, but I certainly don't think that these sorts of fetishes always come from porn. I have a fat fetish, but I knew I was fascinated by larger women even before I hit puberty. Once I hit puberty, I realized it was a sexual fascination. I had discovered all of this before I was even introduced to internet porn for the first time.

I understand that some people develop undesired fetishes from watching too much porn and eventually hitting a point where the only way to satisfy the demand for porn is to seek out more novel porn, but I hope my story shows that this is not the only reason fetishes develop. @mboulos , you may ultimately discover that this fetish is just a part of who you are, and I hope that if things go that way that you will eventually come to accept yourself. I've struggled with my own fetishes, even been bullied for it many times, but ultimately it's been very rewarding to accept myself for who I am and to distance myself from those who don't accept me.

Whether this fetish is a part of who you are or not, I hope you are able to quit using porn. It's obviously causing you some amount of stress, and I think that quitting porn will be a wise decision with grand benefits whether it 'cures' your fetish or not.

 

You were attracted to certain type of women because you wired your brain very early in childhood, when you just discovered sexuality. Maybe your mother was curvy, or maybe first woman that you payed attention to was curvy, so you developed that connection in your brain. This will of course fade, if you abstain from porn long enough, and detach yourself from that connection. You will be surprised that you can change what you like, if you starve yourself from any kind of sexual content. It’s the same with food. You can easily start liking any kind of food, if you avoid eating for 10 days With sexual preference you will need a lot more, at least 8 months, as far as I know.

But being attracted to curvy women is not even a fetish. It’s a preference. Now, femdom IS fetish. This is not normal in any way, there is no reason why in the world you should be born this way. This is caused by stressed childhood, abuse, early sexual discovery and porn.

 

It depends on how you developed the fetish in the first place. Some fetishes develope in childhood. I have one particular fetish that I know didn't originate from porn use. I had it long before I ever watched porn.

The fetishes that you've gotten through porn will likely disappear, but it's gonna take a long time.

 

I don't agree with you. I really think it's a part of who I am. I don't want it to fade, and I don't think it will even if I abstain from porn.

As I said in my original comment, I don't think fetishes are well understood by science, and I don't think there's a generally accepted definition of what a fetish is. How are you defining a fetish, and how do you distinguish a fetish from a preference?

 

What are you talking about? In what way is our society 'woman-centered'? I'm not trying to aggravate you or anything, but I legitimately don't understand where you're getting this idea from. Just to be clear, I'm not claiming that I think our society is 'man-centered' or anything like that. I don't think that any gender is 'at the center' of our society.

Citation needed. Seriously, though, where are you getting this information?

I agree that women are attracted to well-respected men, but aren't men also attracted to well-respected women? I know I am.

Judging from your comment, it sounds like you have pretty strong feelings about women and the role they ought to play in society. Where are your feelings on that matter coming from?

 

Don't go crazy about that. The scientific community doesn't agree about fetish and its origins and even if they did, can science truly define who we are and our likings? It seems that P can develop or generate a fetish, but if it's not bad for you and your partner, then it's not a problem (unless you have religious issues that may make you unhappy and feel guilty). Try a reset! If it works, good! If not, you can try to find a girl that undestand your fetish. Anyway, stay away from P.

i have a foot fetish since I can remember and felt bad about this. Now I have a girlfriend that likes it and I'm real happy

 

I would think it would. I never was interested in it. But the addiction brought me into it so I liked this part. The abstinence also creates distance for me to this type of arousal.