Hey there, some information about me: 33 years old, been watching porn for like 15 to 20 years regularly. It's not like I thought about porn all day and there are times where I don't watch it for a couple of days but still on a regular basis. I've never gotten sexually intimate with a girl until the beginning of this year, where I encountered the same problem with two different girls (no, not at the same time ): Either: not get hard at all (first girl) or (second girl) get hard but once the condom is over the penis, the erection goes down. During fellatio it was fine but I couldn't get an orgasm, though. So: PIED? Could be. I usually masturbate with my foreskin (which is very long but still totally retractable) over my penis, doing so in a pretty high pace. But is that considered a death grip? I don't know. Now to my question: I've been dating this aforementioned second girl for like a month now, and I told her about my situation after the first not so well going try with her. And we've been taking it slowly since then. Yesterday we talked about the situation again and how to take it from here. I'm on day 15 now (actually not watching porn is not that hard, but not touching myself is, I'm pretty much horny all day) and I saw a chart where it says: Flatline day 15 - 20 (where I should be right now), adaption 21 - 30 and rebooting 31 - 90. She asked me if she should leave me alone intimacy-wise or if we should simply try where I (literally) stand on a regular basis. I don't think she expects it to be perfect immediatly, she is used to taking it slow. But frankly, I don't know what's best. I simply don't know If I would be able to get a boner if I tried. I could wait a couple of weeks to make sure flat line phase will be over but I've read that could sometimes take months. I know some people say normal mode, so sex included is best and some say refrain from orgasms whatsoever. Needless to say I want to keep dating her and I'd say she's been pretty patient for a girl which I've only dated for a month but I don't want to overstrain her patience. Any advise though? PS: A whole different question: Does having a boner during tests with a urologist hurt your NoFap progress? Never hurts to be sure that there are no physical reasons for my problem.
Indulge in all sexual activities with your partner, it's no harm. It might even help you recover faster but don't ever watch porn again. Real sexual stimuli help you recover whereas the artificial stimuli like porn is problematic. One more thing when indulging in foreplay or intercourse don't think/visualise porn, focus on real deal.
Do not wait for another day to become better in something you crave, be it theoretical work, labour process or intimate life. Only practice will delineate and correct all your misjudging in any sphere of life. So act vigorously. If you can`t process intercourse (had the same problem as you do firstly), then bring the subject (gently!) of oral sex (you to her, she to you) and then 69 pose to your girl. It will be almost the same as fullblown sex and you`ll have more chances to succeed during such session.
how are these girls willing to have sex after only a month of dating? And how are they fine with you having ED... where do you find these girls but to answer your q, wait as long as possible before testing
Building intimacy with your SO is a good idea in my personal view. Half of the PIED problem is only being able to get hard to porn etc. and half the problem is not being able to get hard with real women if that makes sense. I think the two halves of the recovery can work in unison, cutting out PMO and building in real intimacy even if that can't yet involve full penetration, work on all the other parts of intimacy and associate your arrousal with your SO rather than with PMO.
Yes have sex with her, also try to have a good foreplay lost of touching, massage her, use your fingers make her come with that, then use your penis and If there is no erection you share and intimate moment and you made her come. Aither way the experience will strenghting the relationship just dont freak out if there is no erection
