dont see a reason to live

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by recoome, Jan 16, 2020.

  1. recoome

    recoome Fapstronaut

    i dont have anyone to live for. no friends. toxic family. work sucks. full of career mistakes. i really am full of rage for my family. i am angry at night. angry at morning. i am fed up of myself. i cant see my therapist anymore as i'm in a new city now.

    i thought therapy had healed me, but it's all miserable. i'm working at a place n my seniors are younger than me. its embarrasing.

    i dont have much care for my family. they have their own issues. n are toxic. its not their fault. their parents were toxic n its a cycle.

    friends... no. i dont have energy to talk with anyone. hanging out is a chore. all i want to do is lie in my room during free time.
    Fullyawake and Tafi like this.
  2. Kligor

    Kligor Fapstronaut

    You having hard times buddy,it's hard to go alone when you have no one by your side i know.
    Remember that you are alive and there is sure someone in your life who can be friend with you,someone from school or past jobs.If you need help during this hard time you can send me message any time,i will be glad if i can help you.
    |DEKU|, getbetter73, Espi1971 and 3 others like this.
  3. Ed74

    Ed74 Fapstronaut

    Isolation makes everything worse I know. Maybe a 12 step meeting? AA NA SA? Even if it's not your thing the principals can work for porn and you can vent...
    Espi1971, recoome and dogeatdog like this.
  4. CTRL + DEL

    CTRL + DEL Fapstronaut

    This is why people resort to religion. You can try it. Find your excuse to live in Jesus or something.

    Still, if you can bear the weight of knowing that mankind as a whole is most likely left to fend for itself, you can extend this atheistic logic to come to a conclusion that living for others is no way to live anyway and completely invalidate such a feeling altogether.

    New city = New therapist

    You sound like you're smart enough to recognize a cycle when you see one. Then break it. Solitude will be a natural consequence.

    If you aren't willing to make an effort than any advice given here is wasted altogether. Find your drive first.
  5. Solidstate75

    Solidstate75 Fapstronaut

    May sound cliche brother but keep your head up. I have had ironiclly those same issues at once. I grew numb but content. So content I was numb and literally let my mind preoccupy itself over time. These feelings hit us all but some more than others. Just know the board is here,if you want reach out to me even. Theres strength in numbers, a clear focus in regimen and a drive in goals. Start small and push yourself out of your zone a bit. Itll preoccupy your mindset and refocus you. Youll see.
  6. I don't know how old you are, but doing sports makes wonders. You just need to make that first step and you will be fine. Don't give up man
    Last edited: Jan 23, 2020
  7. Max666

    Max666 Fapstronaut

    Try to focus on one thing at a time and fix your problems that way.

    Become healthier, fitter, stronger. Respect your body.

    Fuel your mind, read.

    Take interests in things besides your job and convert that interest to passion and passion to discipline.

    Above all, stay away from anything that makes you feel good without any effort (eg: junk food, video games, TV, sugar, alcohol, masturbation, even hot showers). Learn to train your mind to derive it's source of dopamine/serotonin from being productive instead.

    Practice all this and set goals. Dont think so much about where you are but rather where you're going. Constantly remind yourself 'your future is your best friend'.

    Forget about friends or girlfriends right now, they're a bi-product, they come after.

    Lastly, time is a gift from the gods. Show your appreciation.
    recoome likes this.
  8. recoome

    recoome Fapstronaut

    i'm 30 years old and have been only falling down in career. had great beginning at 21 n then had breakdown. left job n did smaller job. then i left that for higher studies but quit that as i wasnt mentally stable. thrice i quit. then was in therapy and eventually did masters and now at 30 i'm at similar job situation when i was 21. it's like all 9 years gone waste.

    this job brings back bad memories of my first job n all that happened. its horrible. whenever i see a colleague i'm like, 'i was there at your place once. n i made horrible career choices. i had so many opportunities n i didn't use any.'
    Espi1971 likes this.
  9. I don't know if it consoles you or not, I am 38 and doing my full time MBA. My class average is 29 y.o. I am the oldest, but I am enjoying every single moment in the school. After that I am planning to study Sports Management and work in sports industry. In other words I am pursuing my dream. You are much younger, you are in better position than me :)
    Mirach, Espi1971 and recoome like this.
  10. Arcture

    Arcture Fapstronaut

    Hey man, I'm really sorry to hear you're going through all that. It pretty heartbreaking to hear that you're despairing in this difficulty and nothing I can say will make it better but know that you're not alone. We're all going through the shit day by day but its all of our jobs to push through it.

    That being said, you don't have to do it alone. You got a lot of brothers here, including me, that are here ready to grasp your hand and pull you off the floor if you reach for us.

    Let me know if you wanna talk, it may not fix everything but it helps sometimes to just vent and tell someone your story and then talk about it.
  11. recoome

    recoome Fapstronaut

    I was so impulsive before this. I mean I would just indulge in pornography, rage issues, random sexual encounters. Like proud of my impulsivity and unpredictability.

    Maybe I can do another Masters at 34/35. Like collect some money from my current job and then move to better country.
    WalkingForward likes this.
  12. Arcture

    Arcture Fapstronaut

    We all make mistakes man. Fortunately we can also change from the path we are on currently and then not make the same mistakes.

    Decide what you want and then make a well thought out and organized plan. And then do it. Ask for help where you need it and become a better man and live a more fulfilling life. Its definitely not as simple as that but ultimately the first step is really badly wanting it and then organizing your life in a way to accomplish your objectives.
    recoome and WalkingForward like this.
  13. WalkingForward

    WalkingForward Fapstronaut

    You're 30 years old, you've got at least 35-40 years until retirement. You've got plenty of time to set things in order.

    Edit: Also, you can't compare yourself to others, compare yourself to who you were yesterday. And strive to do at least a little bit better every day.
    recoome and Mirach like this.
  14. Fight for your life bro. Living isn't easy and don't expect it to be. We don't have the answers but we do have the power to make a change within ourselves.

    I was suicidal during my teenage years and I understand the feeling that there is no other better option than to take yourself off this world. I felt guilty, ashamed and did not want people around me. My perception of who I was was eating me up inside. I had to either carry on down that road and die or make a change within myself which later lead to me seeing changes around me.

    We always like to blame the external environment. It's my dads fault why I am anti-social, it was my friends fault for me being angry all the time etc. But this line of thinking makes you think you are powerless in your situation. Who benefits in this situation? You have to turn that criticism inwards and then start to make a change.
    Porterhouse, recoome and Arcture like this.
  15. recoome

    recoome Fapstronaut

    What do I do? My senior at work who will give me assignments is 5 years younger to me. It's embarrassing to be in that work place.

    The mistakes are eating me inside. I look at missed opportunities quotes n just feel like lying in bed all day.
  16. "Is Life Worth Living? It Depends upon the Liver.” - Charles S. Davidson

    Life won't give you a reason to live. If all you do is "lie in [your] room", that's all you're getting. Nobody is going to come and save you. But you don't have to believe life is worth living, you just have to entertain the possibility. Like Davidson said, life may or may not be worth living.

    I could sit here and give you a thousand self help tips but so long as you're not prepared to entertain the possibility life might be worth living I'd be wasting my time and energy. The problem is you. But that's a good thing, because it means you can change. But you're only going to change if you want to change, and that's something only you can do. No-one on this forum can help.
    recoome likes this.
  17. ahighertruth

    ahighertruth Fapstronaut

    i feel this way a lot when im either on drugs or porn. suicide is just not the answer. death is inevitable, but you won't have this chance again. god keeps you alive for a reason, if you have no reason to live you would have wound up dead already. just focus on good habits and forget about the bad ones.
    recoome likes this.
  18. recoome

    recoome Fapstronaut

    i am in a miserable position in my career. i switched jobs, got a useless masters degree only to be back in job of my graduate profile, and my mentor is 5 years younger to me. i'm 30 already. i lost 3 great chances to go to germany(went once n returned in a week due to anxiety) didnt go other 2 times, because i couldnt muster up the courage. everyone told me to go but i failed n now it's too late. i dont know what to do.

    i was better until a year ago. i was in therapy and that helped process some things. now that i'm in job as intern at 30, it just makes me feel... i'm back where i was at 21.

    i can do phd at 35 and go europe forever. this thought makes me feel hope.
  19. Fullyawake

    Fullyawake Fapstronaut

    OP, I know exactly how you feel. No matter how much we try the status quo remains. I have lost weight, eat better, drink lots of water and such - and will keep doing so, but day to day life is hollow and depressing. A woman would give me purpose, but finding someone who mentally and physically appeals to you is nearly impossible. Or even getting someone to look at you. You feel invisible, and that turns to anger and deep sadness. And then we’re meant to wake up and smile at work.
    recoome likes this.
  20. recoome

    recoome Fapstronaut

    It feels life's drifting by. I mean I got a stupid Masters degree and a stupid entry level job, something I was doing in 2011. All the last 9 years seem waste right now.

    I did therapy for a year and half. Wish I had done that earlier. Wouldn't have lost out on an opportunity.

    Started therapy again.
    Fullyawake likes this.

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