I'm here to talk about being addicted not to PMO, but to that "feel-good" sensation, the feeling of comfort. Constantly seeking that quick fix of dopamine to keep you going, constantly looking forward to insignificant things that give you a little bit of high. I'm here to share with you my experience and what I've learned about myself recently. This is not only for my benefit (accountability and possibly to receive advice) but also to possibly make you aware of this issue in case it's something you struggle with. Anyway, here we go, and I will try to keep this as short as possible: Ever since I stopped watching porn roughly 5 months ago now, I have been struggling with many other things, but mainly, my "other addictions" have been revealed to me. They are: My phone / social media. (youtube comments, facebook notifications, texts/messages, etc. etc.) - I got into a bad habit of constantly checking my phone even though I knew there was nothing to look at or no notifications or messages to respond to. I've been obsessively turning to my phone because every time I get a notification or message it gives me a little, brief, "happy" feeling. I know that social media and smartphones are a huge issue and so this one I was more aware of than the others. Food. Ever since I stopped with porn, food has become another vice of mine to help fill that void where I was no longer getting my dopamine release. Sweets and junk food became that vice... I started binging (I've always been somewhat healthy eater, I'm not overweight at all or anything) and buying/eating baked goods from the store, cookies, buying iced coffees all the time, muffins, donuts, etc. etc. - and whenever I DIDN'T have anything sweet, I was always thinking about what I was going to buy next, and I started feeling depressed when there was nothing to eat (meal-wise or dessert-wise) and I would have to resort to a PBandJ or Turkey sandwich or something. M. (I won't go in too much depth on this one because it's pretty well covered on this site already...) I will say that I am trying to abstain from M. and I realize (for me at least) it's just as much as a problem as P. was. My current record is about 30 days. Aiming for hardmode indefinitely. Shopping. Both online and in person, though mostly online. Books and movies are two of the main things I look at a lot, but really anything counts. Whenever I'm shopping online for something it gets me that "excited" feeling and whenever I buy whatever it is I want, I feed into that desire, and it releases a tiny bit of dopamine. This has led me to spend a lot more money than I should have over the last few months as I've expanded my book and movie collection. (Nothing wrong with books, but I've focused on collecting them too much) Those are the "big four" of things I have used as vices since I quit porn. Now, I don't necessarily think I'm addicting to those things on their own. Looking back, I don't even know if I was fully addicted to porn to begin with. I've more or less realized I'm a dopamine fiend, and I want and seek out whatever will bring me comfort and happiness because I feel lost and alone and insecure a lot of the time. I bounce back and forth from thing to thing, whether it be my phone, shopping, eating junk food, etc. etc., looking for it to bring me some sort of contentment, and because I (think I do, anyway) have nothing else to do. And when there is nothing going on to give me that quick fix, I have none of the aforementioned things, my thoughts become obsessive and they start desiring the stupidest stuff and I think about what I can do to feed my desires. I would literally drive out of my way or leave just to buy a sugary iced coffee. I will literally drop what I was doing just to "check ebay" and see what's on sale. My thoughts would always be on the "next thing". I was living by my emotions. I was letting my foolish desires guide me. (and still am, to a degree, although I'm working on improving) So I've realized all of this about myself recently, and what have I been doing to combat it? First, there's the issue with my phone. This is probably one of the biggest ones. I spend way too much time looking at it, watching YT videos, etc.. Currently, I've made it a habit to plug it in every night and stop checking it before I go to bed and when I wake up (which I used to do every day/night). If it starts to become a problem again, my backup plan is to plug my phone in on the other side of my room, out of reach, so I won't be tempted to look through it mindlessly. Food? I've simply made the decision to stop buying junk food. I still buy iced coffees on occasion, and I will spend my money on regular food (I need to eat to survive, lol) but no more buying a box of cookies or donuts for $4.99. This also will help me save more money. I'm also working out / exercising more. This is a challenging one. I've always exercised a little bit, but struggled with staying in a routine. Currently, I'm taking in a 50-mile / month challenge (50 miles of walking, running, and/or cycling) I'm currently at about 35ish miles. Mostly from jogging. I also do push ups and pull ups an average of 2-3 times a week. Shopping - I just think about the money I need to save for when I move out eventually (hopefully sooner, rather than later) and I start to think about and appreciate what I have and it helps kind of nullify that "need" to have more stuff. I will continue to buy books on occasion, but I'm learning to stop using it as a vice and only buy something when I really really want or could use it instead of doing it just to add to my collection and give me that quick dopamine fix. In short, I've become aware of my problem, and that to me, is the first step. I'm on the road to self-discipline and learning to get my rewards from the benefits of a healthy and hope-filled life; instead of "rewarding" myself with brief, temporary spurts of happiness from things like food, masturbation, social media messages, etc. Of course, I'm always open to advice and suggestions. I also hope that this gives you something to think about in case you might be struggling with this or something similar. Don't live by your emotions and desires. Don't let them guide you and don't feed into them. There are a lot of things in life to look forward to that are a million times more satisfying and fulfilling than wasting away with insignificant addictions. It just takes a lot of time and dedication to get there. I don't want to live my life forever in an aimless state - always wondering and wandering - I want to live with direction and purpose and not be chained down by selfish and foolish desires. I want my mind to be set on the endless possibilities of the future. Not on material things that will pass away. Not on feeding into my comforts and desires just to "feel good" for a short moment. Share your story. Comment your advice. Discuss this with me.
I might have missed some parts of your post as I skim read but yeah I can totally relate to dopamine addiction and it's seeming tendency to shift from one thing to another, like I'm sticking fingers in a drainage ditch where there's a leak, and no sooner have I plugged one than another appears. I think the ones mentioned are common to so many people these days no wonder we all feel like the world's gone mental; food, porn, sex, phones, social media, shopping, getting angry, exercise, smoking, drinking, gambling the list goes on. My approach has been mostly about direct awareness, surrender, making better choices, relaxing, cleaning it all out, prioritising the worst which for me have been pmo, nicotine and junk food and trying to rid myself of these. Got to keep things in perspective so a day by day approach kinda works too. Oh, reading things that I enjoy and that challenge me a little, walks in nature, especially by water (rivers, ponds, lakes, the sea) and cycling all help a bit.
Excellent post. I realized that porn wasn't the only thing. You might remove some crappy addiction only to replace it with something equally addictive. I am with you on the Facebook and Instagram addiction, as when I wake up, the first thing I do is start scrolling. Today was the first day in which I didn't do that. I went straight to my living room and sat down to meditate for fifteen minutes. I haven't been scrolling today and maybe even I can stop using it altogether except for business or to contact my family. Another one for me is POLITICS. I am a staunch supporter of one side of the political spectrum and tend to get all pissed off at people on the other side. So I scan the news for examples of how those other guys are just morons and I get high on being right and on how stupid the other lot are. It's another addiction isn't it? I need to stop worrying about politics until it's time to vote... go and vote and then forget it until the next election. It is going to be an upheaval but I think I must. You hit the nail on the head... the real addiction is dopamine. We have to become aware of what manifestations there are in our lives and then eliminate it.
Every single thing is drug if we exceed. A good thing to do is to remove all social media, they are created to be addictive, Yt, Facebook, instagram, Tiktok etc...same for Smartphone, that is not a friend of our frontal lobe and is full of sexual triggers for us porn addicted, if you buy a dumb phone you can focus more when you are outside, and you will notice how people are transfering themself inside that thing, everywhere you see people watching their phone, on sidewalk, on car, on autobus, and they can enjoy the moment. In our society young generations are so addicted that go in depression if they can't connect to internet. Porn is another weapon for Tech Addiction. I own an old kindle (is a gift) but i wil never bring it with me outside, is 1 year without smartphone this month.
