Ending my life :(

What's troubling you in your life to think you need to kill yourself?

 

Did you made 100 % effort to quit porn?
When you try to quit porn you need to quit even INstagram and Tinder browsing, and similar. Whatever give you a dopamine hit and even a small rush.
Othwerwise you dont make much progress and risk of relapsing.

I had the problem when I thought I did everything right, until i realized that I got a hard-on, even by chatting with women on Tinder. In some way the brain think it is porn still, since image = image. reaction = reaction.

 

What are 5 things you could do, but have not done/are not doing to help you stop using PMO?

 

Well, if it's that extreme, why not just end addiction at all cost, however painful or uncomfortable - you were thinking about ending life anyway (right?), when it's really this addiction that you want to die, not your life. That's your frustration/anger, and such can be redirected in full force toward the real problem of addiction, for effective recovery. Believe me, too, when I say that the initial discomfort and pains do not last forever when experiencing them (hold out each round); also, eventually the worst of the pains stop altogether when advanced at 120-180+ days, something I wish I knew much sooner. I thought I would always have to struggle extremely, as in the beginning days, which is self-defeating already. You can also learn tools and strategies to deal with the initial struggles in the interim period. Many guys describe these strategies, and there are effective videos for Nofap endurance, especially in the beginning months. I was a helpless case myself.

Best wishes!

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hey don't quit you have to fight again.

 

Until you succeed you haven't tried everything

 

I know things may seem bleak at the moment, but please know there are people out there (even strangers like those that post on here) that support you and care about you. (I know, that sounds corny as hell, but think about it: people wouldn't post on this forum at all if they didn't care.)

As you've probably read, many folks on here, myself included, have gone through less than stellar times over the years. (I am not saying I could understand the specific causes of your pain and struggles, as each individual is unique, although I would suggest that the pain itself is not unique.)

If you haven't done so already, I would encourage you to look at the success pages’ stories. With the qualification that everyone is different, you may find that the process I wrote about in a thread entitled “A Key Insight that was very beneficial” in that forum helpful.


Best wishes,

 

I have fought almost 20 years until i found the solution, it still annoys me sometimes but yesterday and today are incomparable. You keep failing because you simply still didn't figure out how to stop. It's not just willpower, once you figure out you will know it's worth it. I and the other members are here to help you

Just put one straightforward thought, do not hurt yourself, this is not the solution. You can and you will get better. Just keep fighting.

 

You sound burnt out IMO. Your dopamine levels are shot to pieces, meaning you can't find joy in anything, but the good news is, it can be healed!

Start here:
https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/too...m-porn-addiction/rebooting-basics-start-here/

https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/tools-for-change-recovery-from-porn-addiction/

Put some music on that you like, and literally, in your spare time, consume everything on that site. Advice, techniques, testimonies, literally everything. Don't rush it. Take your time. It'll also explain everything about dopamine and the reward circuitry system.

If you prefer videos, then use these here:
https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/videos-articles/

As for small baby steps, I would advise trying to keep off Instagram if that's a trigger.

A technique I've seen others use in the past is to create a chart of masturbation (red colour), and non-masturbation (green colour) days. You can then visually see the days you don't masturbate, and use that as motivation to push for more days. I know it goes against conventional NoFap advice, but some folk do have to start from different places to others. One person masturbated 3 times in one week, and didn't masturbate for 4 days, and took that as a success, and built on it. He went on to eventually masturbate twice in one week, then once in one week, then didn't, and just took it from there.

And of course, suicide because of porn and masturbation is not the answer, and I believe deep down, you know that. Otherwise, you wouldn't have posted the thread in the first place. You want to beat this addiction. Within your subconscious, there's that hope. Now's the moment to act on it.

 

You're welcome.

Those links and videos (and subsequent stuff on that site) will help explain everything to you, and the testimonies page is literally rammed with people's varying experiences, including many you should be able to relate to.

I know there's a worldwide cost of living crisis, but see if your diet needs changing. Foods and supplements high in DHA (fish), Magnesium (green veg, supplement wise, biglycinate is the way to go, not oxide), vitamin D (sun), B complex (energy, nervous system), zinc (testosterone and immunity), vitamin C are some basic essentials you could look at.

For me, a series of longish streaks have left me in a position where I literally felt so low, and wanted to cry about everything, to now slowly feeling joy in things. Relapses only hinder me for a few days, but I'm so much better than I was a year or two ago.

Also, if you use a computer and/or phone, see if you can tamper the settings you that you it reduces the blue light the screen emits. Blue light can cause havoc with mood and sleep. I found a neat setting on my PC which turns off blue light, and within a month, my sleep improved dramatically.

Also, it's going to take a while for your dopamine receptors to heal. This will mean pushing through the boredom. Reading a book (on an e-reader or physical copy), watching non-sexual TV shows, exercise, doing other activities may feel boring at first, and it'll require perseverance, but in the end, your brain will adjust, and you'll enjoy those activities.

 

There's some great posts here. @drunkenmaster your thoughts are perfectly normal, but you're not finished yet: you want the pain to stop, not necessarily your life. I myself was thinking about how to die this Wednesday night.
Start simple and build from where you are: if you move, eat, wash yourself and clothes, if you work or study, then add a little onto these things and try to make it a habit.
So, if you move then move a little more: do some bodyweight squats and make sure you do them every day. You will find that soon the number will grow and your mood and thoughts will begin to be positively affected, plus you will be building your personality. Start with just three or five or something, but do one more repetition every day or most days.
You can do that.