I am going to try and make it as short as possible because i can literally write a book about how this all went down. I was introduced to pornography at a very early age of 6 years old at onee of my friends house they were a little order and were watching some scenes on the TV. I Didnt really understand it after being exposed to it many times after that. i believe when i hit puberty at around 10-11 i started masturbating once a week and felt really guilty everytime i did it, then i started to enjoy it for a long time since i didnt really notice any bad side effects ... I was curious if this was a healthy habit or a bad habit at the age of 13-14 so i used to ask around and even ask my science teachers in middle school and they told me it was fine and its healthy when done moderately so i continued. Then it became i habit that i used to do almost everyday when i got a chance until i was 17, between the age of 13-17 i was very antisocial and i didnt want to interact with many people, i guess my energy was low and i didnt have the motivation to communicate and make conversations .. so i spent a lot of time being alone and jacking off mostly during the nights. My fetishes started at the age of 17 and i needed different ways to get off and more extreme ways and it has been 5 years since i have been mostly getting of to different kind of fetishes, this has effected my life in a lot of ways, i am at an age now (22 turning 23 ) where i need to work for my dreams and make them happen but this porn addiction ( which i have identified it is an addiction ) is stopping my from performing my best. I will not go into it any further about the struggles and the pain since we know what we all go through on a daily basis and thats why we are here trying to do something about it. I am an over average looking guy ( thats what i get told ) with a muscular body that i have worked for since i was 16, I have a lot of goals and dreams for my future but i cant seem to find the confidence or energy to make them happen at the moment ( I know most of you can relate ) This has been really tough for me, I have been trying to quit for about 4 years not with continuous relapses and sometimes just giving up then trying again with a bit of hope, I have gathered a lot of information and knowledge about porn I will try new strategy and post everything on here day by day and i hope i can help people with it while i go on this journey of recovering from this severe addiction.
DAY 1 Strategy: I have put an app on my computer called (Self control) which helps you block certain websites and add a timer. I have deleted all social media, expect one app to receive and send messages I will go to another gym where i will expect to not see as many girls as i do in my normal gym. I will not use my computer during the day since i will be going to the gym in the morning and then to work till late at in the evening ( you have to keep yourself busy ) I will meditate when i wake up and visualize success in this recovery I will use a nofap affirmation once or twice in the day I will eat healthy meals I will post about my journey in day 1 tomorrow night Hopefully we can do this together and become our best selves, we have been controlled for many many years and suppressed our masculine potential. lets do this!
Day 2: just kept myself very busy, did some nofap affirmations and meditated went to the gym went to work I think my mind is pretty fresh to this so its holding on and has willpower tonight
Day 3 strategy: i know that as the days go on the urges get stronger so i need a plan - first thing tomorrow morning is affirmations and meditation - another affirmation during the day - last one at night - Maybe some visualization of succeeding Another thing i will do is cold showers after the gym and in the morning and I think i will have to delete social media so i use it to the minimum I have to stay out of my room till i am really sleepy these are my strategies for day 3, wish me luck
day 4: i am currently on my day 4 last night i slept really well i woke up and wrote down my affirmation , did a 20 minute meditation and listened to some nofap affirmations i went to the gym and in the gym i saw these girls wearing very tight shorts and one of them looked very hot and her ass has been on my mind since then, usually i would give in to these urges and masturbate and probably masturbate to fetishes thinking about her This is very tough i am gonna write down my affirmations once again meditate and visualize my success of hitting 500+ and being free then listen to a 20 minute nofap affirmation. i have to do this for me and i will be among the 1% of the world
day 4 evening: urges are very strong, i just wanna open the cam sites and p sites and just beat my meat and release all the semen but somehow i am holding on, i dont know if this is gonna get any easier or just going to get more difficult from this point on ... definitely a tough night urge level : 9/10 i have controlled myself and hoping to fall asleep
Day 5: today i was very busy so far ( i went to work then i went to the gym, i went to the gym pretty late so i wasnt exposed to that many girls as i usually do ) i have not done my meditation, visualization yet but i will do it soon i woke up and wrote down some affirmations but that was it the urges are mid level not as much as last night, last night was pretty tough somehow i just didnt open anything i did some imaginations but that was it thinking about it i cant believe i have been doing pmo for around 10 years now its crazy and so fucked up, this is going to be a journey but even now i feel so good knowing i am about to enter day 6, i don't think i have gone more than 5-6 days without opening even one scene, i have done a 7 day streak before but usually on day 5 i reward myself and watch some scenes but by day 6 or 7 i relapse, i am very proud of myself and my confidence is rising rapidly we can never forget those low energy days, no confidence, no motivation to do anything but talk bullshit, we always have to remind ourselves where we came from and we are not going back there to do list before i sleep: write down affirmations many times listen to nofap affirmations meditate 20 minutes and observe my thoughts
Day 6 strategy: I dont know how things will be tomorrow so i need a strategy - writing Affirmations when i wake up, listen to affirmations and meditate - totally focused in the gym and if i see a girl i have to try and look away - as soon as i reach home, meditate, listen to affirmations and write them down - before bed: listen to affirmations - social media deleted, when necessary downloaded then deleted again wish me luck
Brother, the continued writing down of strategies and rapidly changing them to meet your needs is very courageous and smart. You're approaching this from the best way possible: with proper planning! Even if you slip up remember to be kind to yourself and keep moving forward. I think you can do this, I believe you can overcome this. Like you I was exposed to porn at a very young age when I was in elementary school and it has been a part of my life since. It's hard for us but reading through all of your strategies is very inspiring.
this comment really motivated me to share a lot more of my strategies in the future and hopefully help people overcome this as i help myself, i know i am in a severe addiction but just thinking about that 500+ day on my name makes me so motivated, i appreciate you believing in me man! hope you do amazing as well, remember to be one step ahead of the urges because they are sneaky!
Day 6 journal: today i was a really nice day, amazing energy throughout the day, i can say that i was productive to an extent .. gym was great, i just felt naturally confident, no forcing the confidence and felt i was noticed here and there by some pretty girls and smiled to myself because i felt like the energy is slowly showing itself the energy is just there, i dont feel tired i can look deep into anyones eyes without feeling uncomfortable i feel more comfortable as i move and talk i have been getting into spirituality overall i feel more whole BUT the urges are still there but i just dont feed into it, its tough but somehow feel like i can manage it and just take it day by day i can't believe tomorrow is the big day 7, absolutely crazy to know and feel that im healing strategies will stay the same for tomorrow, the more the better depends how much i get to do throughout the day
day 7 journal:so day 7 is about to end and it has been an amazing day, somehow i feel complete no need for external approval or external support or anything i just feel complete within myself i think one thing that has helped me through these days is that i don't see girls like a sex object anymore, i don't focus on them that much where sexual thoughts come into play i just go with the flow extreme confidence from the morning till the night but then i got drowsy before bed and felt like my confidence wasn't on fire anymore. its interesting because we do deserve to be proud of ourselves and confident in ourselves because we should only compare ourselves to the yesterday version of us, and if you have improved you should give yourself come credit and if u haven't, make a small improvement in any part of your life(ex: one healthy meal ) and that should boost your confidence. the urges are still there and this is the moment where i usually give in but not this time, i feel too self aware and i feel like i am in control (its tough of course) tomorrow is a big day for me i need to be prepared and this is the first time in 10 years i have went to day 8 without absolutely any pmo, absolute amazingnessss!
day 9: going strong tomorrow is (day 10) <<< never gone this much in over 10 years and Im ready to conquer it thanks to the nofap community
day 11 journal: today i woke up releasing probably from a wet dream that i cant remember. i feel like recently( the past 3 days ) i haven't been practicing gratitude enough/meditation and i somehow thought i am free now and more powerful over this addiction i have noticed the urges coming back in a sneaky way ( i have to say it has been tough today ) some minor and major stuff happened that led me to look at a few pictures of instagram models but i turned it off very fast, ITS TOUGH BUT THATS WHY IT CHANGES YOUR LIFE! energy has been lower than usual and maybe because i have let go of my diet. you know i am surprised i am holding on actually :O so if you want to change this habit, you have to change other habits and environments. things i gotta fix immediately are: my diet my activities the people i hang out with how i use my phone mindfulness
Of course, such struggle for confidence or need for mustering energy is a natural condition for any young man - it's part and parcel or your age. Don't blame it on PMO or think that you need to overcome PMO to grow in confidence or to get energy. PMO may cause other issues (especially in relationships), but it's a great myth regarding all the "superpowers" that guys talk about around here. I graduated summa cum laude (no pun intended) and had great success in career choices even in the heights of my PMO addiction. You still can achieve your goals even while you are still facing PMO recovery, over and over again. The persistence of getting up again after every fall is a virtue in itself, which strengthens the very persistence you need to obtain your goals. There's a secret growth that takes place even when we continue to fall into PMO (perhaps God's secret working within). We learn patience, humility, forbearance, forgiveness of self, forgiveness and kindness toward others - when one day perhaps we have grown to be quite a virtuous and laudable person from within - and then we won't need PMO or MO anymore. That PMO cardboard "cutout of a man" may just be the last man standing among all our other vices that have since fallen, and then that last man will be then blown over by a little gust of wind. Best wishes, my friend. .
the past two nights: day 11 and day 12 i have been edging a littlee to porn i dont know why it pulls me back in, i am really hoping to fix this... i edged around 15 mins last night, tonight: around 5-10 minutes of edging.. i havent released but just the idea of going back on those p sites annoys me i need help now, how do i over come this stage??????!!!!! looking to feel overcome and be stronger tomorrow
First, you have to stop edging - that's a very great part of the problem and addiction, which you are choosing to persist in through this activity.
i know this was a big mistake, i thought i am more stronger than it but it pulls you back in very fast.
