Erectile Dysfunction and Delayed Ejaculation cured in 17 days. After 8 years of PMO

Discussion in 'Porn-Induced Sexual Dysfunctions' started by robbc, Aug 18, 2017.

  1. robbc

    robbc New Fapstronaut

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    Hey guys, I thought I'd share my story to hopefully inspire others.

    Bit about me: I'm 31 years, 5ft 10, well-built, and never had a girlfriend (and still don't). My 20s were about focusing on my education and career and forgetting about girls who would reject me for the 6ft 2 blond haired blue eyed alpha male stud. I am now well off in my career and have my own place and an investment property. My struggles have given me lots of life experience and wisdom, which I guess a lot of women now find attractive, so I now have no issues getting girls.

    Background to my virility woes:
    I started masturbating vigorously (5-10 times a day of PMO) when I was 23. Eventually, I had to resort to the death grip (probably around age 24 years) in order to get an orgasm. I hardly had time to find girls, so this was my way of meeting my needs. I probably went on about 5-10 dates a year, of which about 5 would lead to the bedroom.

    At age 25 years, reality hit - I consistently had erectile dysfunction. I saw a variety of doctors. I had a series of bloods done - my testosterone level was normal. My sperm count was a bit reduced. They all told me it was related to stress or performance anxiety. Then I started hitting the gym hard core, and relieving stress by practical way.
    The next few encounters I had, I wasn't stressed at all, nor did I have any performance anxiety. I was a failure in PIV till I was 31. I had to compensate by resorting to other sexual acts in bed - e.g. fingering, butt squeezing, nipple licking, kissing etc. My foreplay and tantric sex ability dramatically improved. I realised that women have a spontaneous inclination to go towards PIV once they get horny with the above foreplay. This is where I continuously failed. Women used to take it extremely personally - "Am I not attractive enough for you?". I used to just tell them that I'm tired.
    When I was 30, I mustered the balls to tell the women that the reason I'm having ED is because I masturbate. A lot. That I'm out of juice. That I'm trying to fix this. They wouldn't see me again sexually, because they probably think "what? you have very little sexual experience..you couldn't satisfy me with PIV".

    Resolution:
    At 31, I tried a new technique. I found that women are a lot more cooperative when you're upfront from the start. Before I have sex, I have "the chat" - about when they were last tested for STDs etc. I build trust at this stage, and also tell them how great they are, and I'm telling something very personal, because I trust them. I tell them that I have ED and D.E, and that I'm working on it. I would usually go for 3-4 days of no PMO when I anticipate that a date will move to the bedroom. I realised I could get an erection, but it's not sustained. I would explain again after the act that this is what I'm working on and be real thankful for their cooperation.
    I found another chick who lives out of town and who is an absolute gem in that she continues to see me on a weekly basis - we have PIV every 6-7 days. This is PERFECT. For the first time, I have abstained from PMO completely, right after the first time we slept with each other. I told her this was my goal.
    A week later - day 7 of no PMO - I noticed my erection remained a bit longer.
    Day 14 of no PMO - Proper solid erections for the entire night. Lasting 1-2 hours at a time. Still no ejaculation.
    Day 17 of no PMO - I ejaculated!!!! We had PIV sex 6 times. I came after 40min the first time. After 35min the second. Then after about 25min each time round. Success 3/6
    Day 21 of no PMO - Multiple rock hard erections. PIV 7 times. Came 5 times. Soonest was 10min.
    I consider myself cured. After 8 years of death grip to PMO 5-10 times a day. I am cured. No medications or psychologists or toys.

    Bottom line - Abstain from PMO, but it's ok to have PIV on a weekly basis. Penis and mental sensitivities will return.
     
    Last edited: Aug 18, 2017
  2. Flossy Carter

    Flossy Carter Fapstronaut

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    Good job man
    You should be proud of that
    Some people don't get cured until at least a year has passed
     
  3. robbc

    robbc New Fapstronaut

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    Thanks Flossy! It was a real struggle, and the hardest bit is the first 3 days of abstaining from masturbation.
    I imagined that I had a painful laceration on my penis, and kept telling myself that touching it would make it worse. Certainly worked!
    Also, I kept myself busy with goals, and avoided looking at women (esp at their bodies). Bottled it all up until the weekly meet up with the chick I am seeing. Works a wonder!
    Once you get past 2 weeks, it's easy to say to yourself, "masturbation is shit..i don't masturbate..not doing it again". The results make it even easier to say it, and your cravings magically die.

    My next step is to repeat my semen analysis tests x 3. Once I've got good sperm counts, I'd consider myself normal again, and ready to look for a woman on a serious basis.
     
  4. Flossy Carter

    Flossy Carter Fapstronaut

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    Good for you man
    Just one piece of advice tho, don't think for a second that once you reach a certain number of days that you'll forget all about porn and let yourself go because some people reach a huge numbers of days (200 days+) and relapse over something simple

    Stay strong
     
  5. Awesome news, much congratulations to you for the successful sex and being with a woman who is trusting of your issues and doesn't think she is the problem. I too have D.E. and have never been able to ejaculate with PIV.
     
  6. Jonathansierra

    Jonathansierra Fapstronaut

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    Sorry but remind me what PIV stands for again?
     
  7. seekingabetterlife

    seekingabetterlife Fapstronaut

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    Stands for penis in vagina.

    As I read your story I'm a bit envious of somethings.

    Firstly, DE is bad but... PE in my opinion is worse. I mean... Most of the guys with porn addictions have PE with ED. We have a tough time getting it up and then we climax fairly quickly. It often makes sex not so great for the girl. She's really getting into things and we're struggling trying to hold out long enough. Man.... sometimes I wish I was lucky enough to had DE and not PE.

    Truthfully, neither is good but PE really screws with your sex session I believe. It made me lose so much confidence while I was in bed. So much confidence...

    I can think of two separate times for some reason I was able to last longer with my ex (without the use of drugs.... I was taking pharmaceutical I drugs I bought on sketchy websites to help me last longer...that's how bad it got). One of those sessions she really enjoyed. I remember thinking to myself that I'd love to do it again but never was able to since that last time.

    One thing I will say though about myself is I've yet to be comfortable fore playing with women and just taking my time. A lot has to do with anxiety thinking about how I need to last longer and all. Some of it is just feeling uneasy about being dirty or nasty.... In other words... I have a hard time talking dirty or doing dirty things to get both of us excited. It's something I'll want to correct in my next relationship because I don't think it as there much at all during my last one. Even if I have to force myself to talk dirty and fake things I'll do it.

    With past girls (including my ex)... we never went "rounds". I think part of it is what I said above.... I just don't give off the excitement that we're having wild, passionate sex. I'm too reserved during sex. Maybe I need to see a sex therapist or read a few books on the topic of making her want to go rounds. Of course, I'd also need to cure any PE / ED issues as well before I can go rounds.

    Keep in mind that I've always had a porn addiction while with my ex and other women. Maybe the porn ruined my ability to be "into" the girl and become that sexually exciting character in bed?? I'm hoping staying PMO free will change that mindset.

    If you don't mind... I'd like you to share some advice.

    I'm struggling to find women for sex. I think I have plenty of prospects that if I really wanted to I could have sex with.... yet I'm afraid of hurting them if they get too attached.

    1. Are you finding plenty of girls to have sex with by going out and meeting them? Are they friends of friends?? How are you even finding these women to have sex with??

    2. Do they not get attached to you in a romantic way? Like, do they not catch feelings for you?? Maybe you are acting a certain way around them that gives them the vibe that you're the "fun" guy they can just have sex with without strings attached. I think sometimes I give off the vibe that I'm boyfriend material almost every time..... as if they can/will start something serious. I have friends who are the funny, outgoing guys.... I know they've slept with some girls I know. I think they looked at them as the guy they can mess around with without getting too serious with feelings. I don't like hurting women. I've had sex with and dropped women in the past. I don't like seeing them hurt when I do it...

    3. Any advice on attracting females? Anything that you see is a "must-do" basic level thing you do when picking up women?

    4. Are there places in general that you find are better than others to find women that eventually may or may not have sex with you? Perhaps you club with them??

    I know the questions are a little blunt and kinda general. It's stuff that maybe a high schooler would ask lol! But.... I'm at a crucial stage in my life (31 just like you) where I just need to get out more for more sex and dating in general. My ex is with some new guy.... I'm finally alone in my own place.... and will be 60 days PMO free in less than 24 hours. It's time I started taking my chances.

    I'll be listening to Corey Wayne to get more insight into dating and stuff. I think his advice is pretty useful so far.

    Thanks man!
     
    Last edited: Aug 20, 2017

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