I'm a gay man, always been 100% gay and will always be. I don't know how you could actually call this but with the escalation of porn I ended up being attracted physically to women. I seen tons of straight porn and the more I watched it, the more I enjoyed women. This even made me become attracted to girls in real life. I danced with some girls at the club, kissed few of them, even while being 100% gay. This made me question my sexual orientation. I thought I was bi... Once I stopped PMO, all my attractions towards women were gone. Can you even imagine how powerful is pornography? It can even fucks up your sexual orientation... What's the opposite of HOCD?
@Phyzik: That's an amazing story, thanks for sharing it. Do you mind if I ask a question? Please let me know if it's uncomfortable... When I read about HOCD, as the term implies, it's a kind of compulsion. So, for example, the straight guys who said they experimented with gay experiences, from the stories I read, all seemed to be turned off, even with the seeming "turn-on." But what you describe sounds different. Do you think you actually had, let's call it, "Hetero OCD"?
I don't think so... In my case it wasn't an OCD. OCD = obsessive compulsive disorder Obsession = an intrusive and uncontrollable thought that comes to your mind. An obsession creates anxiety because the thought is perceived as bad, intrusive. Compulsion : action used to lower the anxiety induced by the obsession You can have an OCD without having any compulsion. In my case, these thoughts about women weren't intrusive because being attracted towards women is socially acceptable. It didn't cause any distress, nor any kind of pain to have these random thoughts that were probably induced by the straight porn I was watching. All the images stay in your mind for a while and they can randomly pop back in your head. An OCD is defined by thoughts that you perceive as intrusive, and since you perceive them as bad, they create anxiety, so in my case, no anxiety was involved, so it wasn't an OCD. OCD = egodystonic (conflict between the Ego and the self-image)
Phyzik: Thanks; as I said, reading your story, it didn't sound like a "compulsion." If I may say so, you made it sound rather pleasant. Forgive me if I overstate that. Confession: I've been pretty much always same-sex attracted as far as I can remember; and I'd have found it rather pleasant, myself, to have had the experience you describe. Also, I've consumed porn most of my life, and with the exception of the first magazine I looked at, it was all gay. About the only straight stuff I saw was occasional, and rarely of interest to me. So here's one reason why your story interests me: you sound like me, as far as fundamental orientation goes; but somehow, the straight porn caught your interest, and as you said, affected your orientation, at least temporarily. So, in trying to get my head around this phenomenon, we have three categories: 1) Those who are drawn to both gay and straight porn because they, themselves, are drawn both to same and opposite sex. 2) Those who are drawn to both gay and straight porn through some sort of OCD effect. 3) Those whose orientation is 100% one way, yet -- without compulsion -- are somehow drawn to some level of attraction opposite that which is normative for them. The first I understand the best; the third, the least.
I'm a (semi?) straight chick, and I used to watch a lot of gay male porn. Pretty sure I'm effed up in the brain, though.
Jae: Thanks. But, if you'll forgive me, isn't that sort of like straight guys who like looking at two girls together? All I mean is, that, to me, doesn't seem so surprising.
Regarding the three categories above: 1) Bisexuality. 2) Sometimes "Pure-O" OCD manifests with sexual obsessions. It's not always orientation. Some people obsess about being unfaithful, or a rapist, pedophile, or zoophile. Basically anything that might be disturbing to the person's sense of identity or morality. OCD is a hell of a thing to deal with. Even if the sufferer recognizes the thought as irrational, it just won't go away. Therapy has been shown to help, and people who can't afford therapy sometimes recover without. 3) What kind of porn someone watches isn't always connected to reality. Even someone's real-life sexual behavior can be situational, especially when the stakes are low and the non-desired sex is available right now. It's more of an "Oh, this is new and exciting" or "This is better than nothing" rather than "I guess I was bi the whole time."
I'm a straight female who isn't a pmo addict. So this topic fascinates me too. #may be triggers# I personally have kissed girls when I was younger. Sometimes even fantasized about them. I'm not bi. I think it's just about experimenting with naughty things. Fantasy is often just that. Something you probably wouldn't want to do in real life. But the novelty and excitement of visualising something different to your "norm" is something everyone experiences sometimes. Looking at it from a P perspective and the small amount of experience I've had in that area. Anything new and different can be stimulating. I'm sure people have looked at porn that they would necessarily find attractive in real life. Its just a thrill to see something different. There's also a fascination aspect. I've looked at some really strange stuff (not talking about P) just out of intrest. Humans can't help themselves sometimes. Its almost like rubber necking (not at all suggesting there is ANYTHING wrong with any forms of sexuality here) we like to look at different stuff. I don't think it defines your sexuality just to be curious and try new things.
Oh, and I meant to add also. I wonder how many women have experienced this crisis of sexuality? I wonder if it tends to be something men get way more freaked out about because gay relationships between men seem so taboo for men. Most of my female friends have dabbled in some way or another with the same sex but none of my male friends have (unless they're fibbing) I think women are more relaxed about their sexuality because there isn't so much pressure on us to be one thing or another, or to be manly and stuff. Just my random thoughts
I'll comment as a straight male who has PMO'd to gay porn for many years: I'm only 24. Started porn at 12. First, just straight sex. Then, it wasn't working for me. Then, some small fetish have stuff like piss or fisting or whatever. Didn't do it. Then, slowly started seeing some bi stuff. That was "fine" with me cause of the somewhat straight aspect to it. Didn't last long either. Then I just completely removed the girls altogether and watched just guys. I was thrown off by this cause here I am, claiming to be straight, but having a real good time look at two guys do Lord knows what while naked. Now, I personally believe that since this was happening in my forming years as well as me being a virgin at that time as well, I especially took to it. But, I've also had a curiosity about being with a guy as well, I'll admit that. Gay porn was how to act on it without actually acting. It was very taboo and it was a rush to it. Straight porn just seemed mundane at that point. Plus, straight porn was very cliche in certain aspects and lacked passion at times. Gay porn didn't have that. At least not what the kinds I frequented. As a result, did I believe I was gay or bi? Damn right. Freaked me out. So, I started to experiment. I won't go into detail, but you get that picture. What I found was the acts I saw in the porn were stimulating and I was stimulated with the person, but wasn't stimulated to the person. So, being gay or straight isn't just physical but emotional as well. Once I told myself I wasn't emotionally attracted to guys, I kept with my gay porn and kept having at it. That allowed me to accept it. But I still felt bad and hoped to stop once I got in a real relationship, but that didn't happen. Excuse my little rant. Everyone's brain is different and we all react differently to things. You question how someone can find gay porn attractive being straight? I'll tell you this: Personally, I am very hard on myself. Have been since high school when I didn't fit into what was "popular" or attractive. It was always easy for me to see what I thought was attractive on a guy because I saw it lacking on myself. With gay porn, men are usually in very good shape, good looking and of course, have a huge dick. Those are elements I wish I had on myself, although people have told me I'm attractive (like my girlfriend of three years does) or said I've got a nice body or that my dick is big (looks small to me, but whatever). But in that few moments of taboo, I would have all of those things and liked that. I am not sure how others have processed their struggle with this, but that's mine lol One last thing: My gay friend watches straight porn but HATES VAGINA WITH A PASSION! He can't describe it, but it turns him on when alone. But yet he has a boyfriend he's sexually active with. Everyone is unique lol I am also not in denial about sexual orientation labels. For all intensive purposes, I'm straight but of course can't be 100% straight because no one is 100% anything and we always have shades of gray. Hope that helps or makes some sense.
This is actually incredibly common, I believe the reason is said to be more passion and story and such with gay porn than with straight or lesbian porn. As I was saying before the attraction may not be necessarily related to orientation.
I agree with you, here. I've never been very concerned about my attraction to/interest in other women, though I wouldn't pursue those feelings. It's just something that's there and I don't really see anything wrong with it being there. I think there is a bigger taboo on men's sexuality (possibly because of porn? I mean, most people consider lesbian sex to be "hot" whereas a lot of people wouldn't feel the same about gay male sex). Anyway, it's an interesting difference. Also, I'm not sure if anyone else has thought of this in relation to the OP question, but I think (for some people, obviously not all), gay sex is considered somewhat... "wrong." Again, not everyone believes this way, but a lot of people do, and I think there is always going to be an attraction and draw to doing something you feel is a bit wrong or extra naughty. You can get a bit of a high from that rebellion, which can add to the high you're already getting from watching porn and Ming. So I think that might be a factor for why some straight people get aroused by gay porn even though they aren't attracted to the same sex in reality.
Another potentially interesting observation is that the notion of bisexuality may threaten a straight man's viability as a mating partner with women. It is not clear if women are equally attracted to bisexual men (I'd say in general they are 'far' more attracted to straight men and may even be repulsed by the thought of sleeping with a bisexual man = generalization but still threat). From a male to male perspective (no pun intended), pursuing gay porn for a straight guy has an even larger stigma attached to it. That is obviously dependent on the culture where you are, but it does crop up often. I'd venture to say the naughty factor is a powerful driver for all of it (irrespective of where the focus leads us).
Yeah, absolutely. This is kind of what I meant by most men thinking (for whatever reason... really doesn't make any sense, but porn has skewed things) that lesbians are "hot." Whereas most women wouldn't think that way of guy-on-guy action... I've never heard of a gay male couple making out while female onlookers comment on how hot it is. lol so yeah, I absolutely think you're on point there, with the notion that "bisexuality may threaten a straight man's viability as a mating partner with women."
You are right, not clear at all. What I am referring to is that where I grew up (and when), most straight males at a young age would discourage me from anything that might approach bisexuality. Even if I did have any inkling of an interest in it, that would likely be squashed and a heterosexual habit would be encouraged instead. As @TakingTheSteps said, a female bisexual is likely to experience the exact opposite, so no stigma (no stigma externally and likely no internal stigma either). The female side of things hence seems like it might lead to a healthier acceptance of bisexual thought patterns (reworded that).
I haven't either; but I do recall sites devoted to gay porn run by women. I have to admit, as a same-sex-attracted guy, that was kind of hot to me!
Yep, I have only seen guys making out once at a college party. I remember that I was just happy that they were able to express themselves openly in our group of friends at the time, but I also remember that none of the women seemed even remotely interested in it. You are not alone in your thinking by the way. Straight men would find that idea hot too (the women that pulled that one off had one heck of a nice idea).
