Guys, I would love your opinions on what could help me. I know there is a way out of this. I am 24 years on porn and maybe 17 years on masturbation. I have 2 strong fetishes (women's soles and anal) woman feet especially make everything super difficult for me as the wiring of my brain is super sick regarding to this. I am trying nofap from january 2018 when I found out that I could have a problem (which I have). My longest ever record was 14 days of no PMO which I am very proud of. Another record was 11 days and then 8 days. Otherwise, I go like 4-6 days and then I always relapse. But mostly like 2-3 days and then I relapse. My problem is - I never got beyond my first extreme urge. It can come after 3 days or 10 days and I never had enough strength to conquer it I am proud that I can make it as a couple of days but when that superstrong urge comes I am losing my personality, there is no any willpower to carry on and be proud how many days I already overcame and where I am heading to. There is nothing I can do. Nothing. It is like a different person in me which is 100 percent already sure that I am going to give her pleasure (I am going to fail) and I am just like a puppet not in control. With this urge I have extremely strong fantasies they already giving me dopamine and I am not able to stop them and they lead to masturbation and porn. I would live to overcome this strong urge as I never been beyond this point. I always always always fail there as I feel like I am changing to a different person and it is not in my willpower to stop it (I don't have a dissociative personality disorder, not to worry) I have this battle much more difficult as because of my 2 fetishes, so there are much more things they turn me on badly. These fetishes I have already from the time I didn't even know about the porn and naked women so it wasn't developed by porn use.I know it is a very sad situation what porn and masturbation can do to us, but I would love to get some advice on how to overcome superstrong urge when there is nothing in me that can stop it. Thank you.
I've had similar problems with really strong urges before. Recently I've come to realize that usually (in my case) there are small things I choose to do or allow myself to think that lead to those much stronger urges. When the urges get that strong it is incredibly difficult for me to resist but as I have worked on catching myself earlier in the process I've been able to have more success. Of course, this is only my experience but I hope that it might be worthwhile to you and I wish you the best in your journey. You can overcome this eventually, even if it takes longer than you would like
Well, as far as I don't find cold showers only way to abstain, it might be very helpful for you in the moment of these extreme urges. It can definetly kill them for some time, you just have to get into shower and pull the tap. Have you tried this before? Also if your urges are connected to the pornography, the best thing you can do if you feel them is just leave computer for hour or two and go for a walk. Just two remarks which might be a little helpful, even though they're clearly not sufficient enough. Good luck, you can do it. Cheer yourself.
Thank you very much, I used to do cold showers for 4 months daily. Now I do them every second day. A cold shower helps only a little. Thank you for your opinion!
