Feeling like a cop out at the gym

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by ifthisislove, Jan 18, 2016.

  1. ifthisislove

    ifthisislove Fapstronaut

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    I was at the gym today and there were 2-3 girls that I thought I should approach because they were all quite pretty. But then a lingering voice in my head said "no, mind your own business, keep your head down and get on with your workout.."

    It was especially so in the weights room, when there was a girl I so badly wanted to approach and she was the only female in there. In fact it's quite rare that any girl is in there whatsoever. I shortly changed rooms and that was the end of that for the time being. She might have been wearing earphones actually so may not have wanted to be disturbed.

    So I went upstairs and found another girl on the leg resistance machine but she seemed a little unapproachable but had a really shapely, toned figure. It was quite awkward at one point because the digital counter showing how many sets/reps I was doing was in the periphery was in line of where the toned girl was above. I couldn't stop looking at that cute, toned and quite peachy butt - my big, big weakness.

    The third girl was doing ab crunches next to me while I was doing core exercises on the mats at the end of my workout. And then the first girl came and joined. It was almost like they were saying 'I want you to say hi and approach me..' but I didn't.

    From all the self-help books and dating advice sites I've read, the tinder date recently, I feel like a cop out tonight. I just need to break that fear wall in my head and just believe in myself more. I'm just a little scared they'll say 'Fuck off' or something to that effect. And my confidence that I've spent so long trying to build up and have over the years and months would be shot. But I guess it's all a numbers game. Not everyone is going to like me or dig me for that matter.
     
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  2. oooo

    oooo Fapstronaut

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    Its hard to approach a girl in the gym, i have had it several times that girls are looking at me but i will never approach because there are a lot of people around there.
    If i approach and i fuck it up than everyone will see it, that is the main reason i will not approach girls in the gym.
    And the fact that you will see the girl more than one time at the gym which would give a awkward situation.
     
  3. nomo

    nomo Fapstronaut

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    Rejection is part of the game and it feels awful, but you will have 100% rejection if you never make the approach.

    Approaching a girl in the gym with others around is hard, but not approaching her is harder in the long run. Growth comes when you get outside your comfort zone. Be scared on the inside, but push yourself to do it.
    Good luck, it takes guts, but you can do it.
     
    ifthisislove likes this.
  4. oooo

    oooo Fapstronaut

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    I think its also hard to get a conversation going with a girl and eventually you want her number.
    And she is like wtf..... i thought we were only friends.
     
  5. Eshaan

    Eshaan Fapstronaut

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    Hell is to easy for me because my family runs a gym and I approach any girl for the sake of reviews. Lol.
     
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  6. Eshaan

    Eshaan Fapstronaut

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    Yeah @Gaston, you're right bro
     
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  7. ifthisislove

    ifthisislove Fapstronaut

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    Today I most definitely did not feel like a cop out.

    I had HEAPS AND HEAPS of female attention thanks to 22 days of no PMO and I talked to loads of girls at a course I was at, with one in particular who was a dancer I sat next to for the day. We flirted and spent the day together and had lunch with each other too. She had a bf but I didn't care. When we walked into the restaurant together, there was a group of four women from the same course who smiled and greeted me as if Brad Pitt had walked in and the dancer was my gf!

    But my god she was stunning. Like, model stunning. Seriously. We are friends on social media now and even though she's taken its given me huge confidence and proved that a) I am so so worthy of these very beautiful girls and b) I'm a great catch! I know what I've got!

    I've also had several women today look at me on the train (two especially looked directly at me for several seconds, but didn't pursue. I shouldn't be afraid of my sexuality) and I wasn't even clean shaven and my hair was a mess! Maybe it's that unkempt manly look they want..
     
    Last edited: Jan 21, 2016
    oooo likes this.
  8. oooo

    oooo Fapstronaut

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    Nice bro, can't wait to get the results myself, did you approach the girls in the gym?
     
  9. ifthisislove

    ifthisislove Fapstronaut

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    @oooo I haven't been to the gym for a few days so no not yet. The plan is to go later this afternoon/early evening though.
     
  10. Redominion

    Redominion Fapstronaut

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    In college, I noticed that simply not shaving in the morning made it at least 50% more likely that a random girl would sit down across from me in the dining hall. And that was in spite of being a dessicated shell of a man trapped in a cycle of PMO.
     
  11. TheSuperiorMan

    TheSuperiorMan Fapstronaut

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    No reason to feel like a copout for not acting on what you think you're "supposed" to do when you were at the gym, bro. Honestly man, depending on where you're from, being that guy who is trying to pickup girls in the gym is kinda juvenile, and unless your game is 100% spot on perfect (and if it is, SWEET!) then you're more likely to just be frowned upon down the road than you are to get numbers/dates. Then you run the risk of developing the reputation of being that guy; girls talk. Don't shit where you eat. If that's your local regular gym, run your game somewhere else.

    Ultimately, you're at the gym to work out. If you go there with even the slightest intention to pickup girls, then they will sense that, because you're not being true to yourself. A gym isn't the venue for pickup man. If you happen to meet a girl there by chance, then fuckin' rock on bro. But go there to workout, and focus; just like you did. You didn't cop out, you did what you were supposed to do. Trust me, you're building more cred there for next time. That way, if a girl does come up and seem like she's interested in you talking to her, you can go ahead and start chatting with her, and before you know it, you've got a date lined up.

    Most important thing is do what you FEEL is right. If you don't have any concrete feeling about what's truly YOU, then make THAT your priority. You can't pickup girls if you don't know how to stay true to yourself. Don't worry about what you think you're "supposed" to do in a given situation. Do what FEELs right. You're on the right path bro, keep it going, and get shredded! Find yourself, and the girls will find YOU. Peace.
     
  12. ifthisislove

    ifthisislove Fapstronaut

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    That was wonderful.

    2 days ago I spoke to a couple of girls after a yoga session - a GREAT place to meet women - one redhead and one blonde. Both really beautiful too. I hope that they didn't sense I was hitting on them, as I see them quite regularly too. At the same time, I almost acted like I didn't care if I got their numbers or not. But I did sense that they seemed really into me from the brief conversations that we had. Maybe they're in relationships, I don't know, I don't care either. There are billions of females on this planet and I'm not about to get hung up on two, or a few of them at my local gym.
     
    TheSuperiorMan likes this.
  13. TheSuperiorMan

    TheSuperiorMan Fapstronaut

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    Right on, bro. That's the best attitude to have. Go there to woodshed and make a better version of yourself. If girls are diggin' you, then sweet! If they're not, still awesome, because you're still making a better you. It's a win/win!
     
    ifthisislove likes this.
  14. ifthisislove

    ifthisislove Fapstronaut

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    You've offered some of the best advice I've received on NoFap since I joined a year ago. Honestly.

    What I'm working on at this moment in time is becoming less of a nice guy, which seems to be working well and have come so far in the space of 6 months or so. As I mentioned above, I definitely feel worthy of beautiful girls and can get one, but at the same time knowing that I'M the catch to be won. One thing I do need to work on a little is approaching in public, rather than the gym.
     
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  15. nightm4re

    nightm4re Fapstronaut

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    I agree with the opinion that gym is a place to work out, not hit on girls. Nothing wrong with talking to them, but as it has been pointed out, you don't want to come off as "that guy".

    Definitely work on approaching in public, I used to do it and it's great. I need to work on it too, haven't approached i girl like that in 1 year.
     
    TheSuperiorMan likes this.
  16. TheSuperiorMan

    TheSuperiorMan Fapstronaut

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    Hell yeah dudes! Approaching during the day, on the street, is the way to go; as long as you are respectful and aware of the fact that she's probably been hit on 200 times that day already. Trust me; the best thing that ever happened to my game, was to stop thinking about it altogether. When I began focusing on myself, and my own success, and my own self-excellence, the girls just come into my vicinity on their own. If you're sincerely not looking for anything, they will look for you. Focus on yourself- be your best self. You're already doing great, man. Keep it going strong.
     
    ifthisislove likes this.
  17. ifthisislove

    ifthisislove Fapstronaut

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    Can you be my life coach? ;)
     
  18. TheSuperiorMan

    TheSuperiorMan Fapstronaut

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    Haha! You don't need a life coach man, least of all me! You are your own best coach. If what I'm saying resonates with you, then it means you already have ability to direct yourself because you recognize for yourself what the right path is. You know what is good and what is right for you; that knowledge is already inside of your own mind, homie. You just gotta tap into it. And you gotta surround yourself with strong, good men who will emotionally kick your ass from time to time and hold you accountable. Every man needs these kinds of friends and role models. Look up to good people who do good things, and who are always true to themselves, and their own personal excellence, and strive to find that Superior version of yourself inside of you. He's in there.

    I have a long way to go myself, we're all on the path bro. Take everything I say with a grain of salt, same for what everyone else says. You know your own truth!
     
  19. ifthisislove

    ifthisislove Fapstronaut

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    As ever, you're right again. I've made massive, massive strides in my self-development in the last year or so. Long may it continue.

    Update on the women front (TRIGGER WARNING):

    When out today there was one girl in a department store who got really up close to me when I asked her if they sold office chairs as I needed one. She kept explaining while fluttering her eyes and keeping holding her gaze at me while smiling the whole time. Another woman selling said chairs almost got flustered and gave me her business card with her number on it and said that she'd be in touch. Another woman looked over her shoulder at me and had the eyes as though she was undressing me when she said hello. I said "hey how you doing" before walking off. There were a twp others with dat ass - my big weakness - that had me fantasising so much wondering what I wanted to do to her in the stockroom. Especially the one in the leather skirt and the other with the Jean leggings.

    I shouldn't be keeping score really but I definitely feel worthy of them but at the same time not really caring too much. Remember: I'M THE CATCH TO BE WON.
     
  20. ChristoX8

    ChristoX8 Fapstronaut

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    Da**, I'm on day 18 and still nothing like you mentionned. I can't wait for girls to start doing this to me, it will be like in a dream!
     

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