Finding the darkest places in my soul... HELP!!

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by jianpip, Jun 18, 2020.

  1. jianpip

    jianpip Fapstronaut

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    Hey Guys I need help!!!!

    I just spend 80 bucks paying a webcam :( ... It was the most stupid thing I have done in years... wasting money in something that only brought me regret.. because is only a signal that my problem is evolving ... is getting darker and darker... I need help.. this cannot continue, but I am afraid I don't have the strength to stop it. The only people I know are you... please help me!
     
  2. Envoy-ofthe-End

    Envoy-ofthe-End Fapstronaut

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    Hey dude, I´ve been through the same problem. What you have to do now is start over and look forward, think about it this way: paying a girl online is unmanly and that it demasculates you, makes you weak. If you keep thinking like this it will be easier to avoid it. The other day I wasted about 100 euro in one sitting and afterwards I felt like garbage. Use this feeling to learn, stand up and grow stronger.
     
  3. Rene75

    Rene75 Fapstronaut

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    Block every site you can remember that you visited, that is what i did yesterday. Good luck!
     
  4. kaia

    kaia Fapstronaut NoFap Defender

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    If you have that kind of money easily spent without second thought, try making it more difficult to make spur of the moment choices like that. Open a savings account at another bank and put money in it that you dont want easy access to. Do not opt for an atm card for the account so that youmust first go to the bank to get money out.

    Or have a cash savings you ask skmebody you trust to store for you, thus you have to go through them first to make any large purchases. Basically, create extra steps for yourself to go through before you can spend any significant sums of money.
     
    Mark_Renton likes this.
  5. Tryinghardtoquit2

    Tryinghardtoquit2 Fapstronaut

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    Don't be so hard on yourself. We are all here to recover so there is no point kicking ypurself while you are down. Give yourself some breathing space. Try a meditation app and get outside for a jog if you can. The endorphins and fresh air will help a lot. Keep at it. We have all been in low places. Start journalling and sharing your story. When your story is out there you control it. Porn will no longer control you. All the best.
     
    Mark_Renton likes this.
  6. fredisthebes

    fredisthebes Fapstronaut

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    I've got myself into debt over webcam addiction and phone sex addiction. And now I am recovered - 2 years since I spent any money on any of these services, although I have several times checked the old sites out of 'curiosity', I have not, thank goodness, spent any more money.

    I agree with making it harder for yourself, so that you don't end up spending money 'automatically'. If your credit card details are in your computer, delete them so that you have to enter them automatically. If you haven't memorised your card details - great news, put your credit cards somewhere in a different room from your computer/devices, in a drawer or even somewhere locked away - give yourself enough time to notice what you are doing and take back control!

    Ultimately though, the decision has to be yours - no more spending money on this nonsense! Whatever it takes!
     
  7. jianpip

    jianpip Fapstronaut

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    Thank you so much guys! It has been much better after reading your comments. It def. feel much better after reading your support. I would like to say it is not the same when you are by your self. I think journaling can be really helpful and also making it hard to spend the money, i really appreciate the advice. Thanks so much.
     
    Mark_Renton likes this.
  8. Yo dude, I'm sure you're feeling all sorts of emotions at the moment: anger, sadness, disappointment, regret, etc. The good news is that if you consider this moment a rock bottom, you'll have no where to go but up. Like tryinghard2quit said, there is no point in beating yourself up. This lowers your self esteem and it can make you more vulnerable to future relapse. What you have to realize is that, you can't beat this addiction with one shot. You measure your success by the small goals and progress that you are able to meet. When you meet those goals and you continue to make progress, that's what sets you up for longer and longer streaks. Bottom line, you have to build your self esteem and feel good about yourself in order to have a fighting chance against porn addiction. Being vulnerable emotionally sets us up for going down a dark hole that we may not easily get out of.

    Another thing to note is managing your stress level. If you have a demanding job and you work long hours, you're going to be tired: mentally, emotionally, and physically. This makes you vulnerable to relapse. You have to be able to schedule in time for self care and mindfulness. If you're job is too demanding, you might want to consider finding something that pays you less money but you work less hours in order to have better work life balance.
     
    Tryinghardtoquit2 likes this.
  9. Tryinghardtoquit2

    Tryinghardtoquit2 Fapstronaut

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    Further to that get out and exercise If you can. Drink less alcohol and try new outdoor stuff. Everyday you dont act out is a Win. They build momentum like a snowball it grows in size with momentum.
     
  10. Mark_Renton

    Mark_Renton Fapstronaut

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    never forget that you're not alone in this. :emoji_thumbsup:. give yourself some credit, you're on here! that is a huge step in the right direction. It's a working progress
     

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