Finding the underlying cause of your addiction

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by zx125, Nov 13, 2016.

  1. zx125

    zx125 Fapstronaut

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    People here often say you have to find the underlying cause of your addiction if you want to be successful. My question is how do you go about finding the underlying cause of your addiction, is it through therapy and talking to someone or is there some other way?
     
  2. koolman

    koolman Fapstronaut

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    Wish I knew.

    I have a lot of issues
     
  3. My addiction
    1. Watching porn
    2. Fantasizing about porn
    3. Fapping to porn

    Underlying cause:
    1. Loneliness
    2. Boredom
    3. Anger
    4. Self expression
    5. Self escapism

    That's what happen to my life :(
     
    FreedomFromSlavery likes this.
  4. phil86

    phil86 Fapstronaut

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    my cause was ptsd because of child abuse sexual and psycholigical when I was younger. this lead to 'hypersexualization' or just sexualisatiin at a young age. I then found out about masturbating and then porn and it began a cycle of suffering, shame, guilt, fear, anxiety caused by the abuse. I craved the momentary release where those feelings disappeared. therapist says I've never actually felt safe since before what happened to me. unfortunately the coping mechanism I adopted just perpetuates those horrible feelings. I was in this cycle for 20 years. it scares me to death that I'm now for me to dig up my past and develop as a normal human i will basically be reverting to the emotiona age of a ten year old. but at least I can begin shedding the negativity of fear and anxiety and shame and guilt from my life. if you can find the root cause in your story the no pmo becomes pretty easy
     
  5. Consistent

    Consistent Fapstronaut

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    I think there is a lot of wisdom in that... (finding the underlying cause). After you stay away from PMO for a while...you will figure out what is driving it.
     
  6. phil86

    phil86 Fapstronaut

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    I found it a little more difficult to face but that's of course because without pmo and alcohol it was the first time in my life I had consciously decided to face it. the first time I had acknowledged it's existence and truly began real introspective. it is daunting to realise how you have wired your brain perhaps since childhood. simply because you were never taught or learnt the wrong way for reasons beyond your control. you will find your personality contains multitudes and you may be in a very bitter war with yourself and your sub personalities. nevertheless if there was a war worth fighting it's the one between the vices of your mind and your true destiny. I am choosing to live my life to the fullest and be what I always believed mu life should be from when I was a child. no longer a victim of life as a human being but the hero of my life fighting my own great adversaries as a human doing.
     
  7. Consistent

    Consistent Fapstronaut

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    The parts of you that you are fighting...they are just habits ( nothing inherent) best to focus on new habits, the old ways will die off over time. You will see. The new man will be built on the rubble of PMO.
     
    phil86 likes this.
  8. Strength And Light

    Strength And Light Fapstronaut

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    This is so true. I was really struggling with PMO and cybersex so bad that I began to have serious panic attacks, migraines, anxiety and depression. I went to the doctor thinking I had a brain tumor or something. They ran all the diagnostics and he prescribed 10 therapy visits. I never even mentioned the PMO/cyber, but we worked on issues from my childhood, which helped me change some fundamental beliefs about myself. When that happened, so many things in my life began to make more sense and my behavior started to clear up. One of those things was my PMO addiction.
     
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  9. Strength And Light

    Strength And Light Fapstronaut

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    This is a good questions. I would absolutely recommend therapy as a first course if it's possible for you. I have crappy medical insurance and my copay was $20 per visit. I went twice a month for 5 months. Worth every penny.

    If therapy is completely out of the question, there are some great books by David Burns. One is called "Feeling Better". I'd recommend that one for sure. Self-diagnosing is going to be much trickier than having a trained professional help you though. It's hard to see the forest through the trees.
     
  10. Zestria

    Zestria Fapstronaut

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    My addiction comes from my SO. It's tough to be in a marriage when one person is always down for some "stress relief", but the other person has less of a drive. That's how it started becoming an addiction to me. Turned down, then depressed, then "hey you know what makes me feel better?"
     
  11. BenBozonian

    BenBozonian Fapstronaut

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    There can be many underlying issues ranging from simple to complex.
    You gotta dig down deep and figure it out and yes you may or may not need professional help.
     
  12. For me I would say it's insecurities that I'll never have a girlfriend in the near future so I choose to have temporary pleasure and waste my precious seeds
     
  13. Strength And Light

    Strength And Light Fapstronaut

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    "I'll never have a girlfriend" is a classic cognitive distortion called fortune telling. You can't possibly know that you'll never have a girlfriend, so you are not interpreting reality with 100% accuracy. Why you have the distorted thought "I'll never have a girlfriend", that is a very distressing thought that sends a panic signal to your body. Your body receives that signal and releases chemicals to create anxiety and depression. Just by thinking more accurately - "I don't currently have a girlfriend, but I'm only 21 and have lots of life to live, so in the future I may find one." - you are eliminating unnecessary negative emotions. Since girls tend to prefer males who aren't anxious and depressed, you're increasing your likelihood of meeting someone.

    Just a tip that's helped me.
     
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  14. phil86

    phil86 Fapstronaut

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    I would like to suggest breaking the cycle by George r collins. and even the power of now by eckhart tolle. breaking the cycle greatly helped me it was not just new age woo woo. but very practicalm methods of grasping what os hapoening to yourself. much like this forum helps
     
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